Wednesday, June 29, 2005
I used to live as a person thinking that the world was so damn profound, that's why i despised nearly every single human being.
Now I think of this world so simply i'm overlooking a whole load of things and letting too much go.
I've seen people all over the place in primary school days who love boasting and sorts, even msyelf. As kids, we just can't stand losing out. Ahhhh the good old kiddy days. Now let me think what i used to boast about.
I still remembered once when we compared who's computer was more expensive. I could brag mine was $4000 while that asshole went up to $8000, since his was obviously bullshit, i bullshitted even more and went up to $10000 =p. And it went so ridiculously it could fly to $1000 million and sorts. Those were the days =p. Now that i look back at it, the person with the more expensive computer's more dumb -_-. Got cheated =p.
And now in the teenage stage, this kind of thing still continues, except this time we compare who's com is better n cheaper =p. And we don't brag as much.
It's suprising how i found this guy in my store still having this kind of "bragging" habit at his age, and he's acting like he knows it all and did everything before. I wish i could proudly say "I'm a tolerant person." But this guy seems to have every single fucking thing to say to whatever i do. I drink up a bottle of water, he says "Drink so fucking fast for what? Gonna die soon ah?". We say one thing, he'll go "that's nothing i did this before bla bla bla bla". What's worse is he's making my life hard.
I slack around, he not happy, throw work at me, complain me. I do work, he fucking kaopeh so much say i noneed so garang lah whatever fuckshit. Say next time just send me alone i can finish it all. He brags about his army life, his basketball school team business, his alcoholic drinking abilities and his driving skills. What he probably can't brag about is his dumb ITE results, bad sense of english and bad detection skills. Let's talk about detection, at first i thought i was the only one thinking he's irritating, boy i was hell wrong. Every single person in that store, though talking to him so happily, are actually all feeling the same -_-.
We actually feel extreme relief when he's away from us for just even awhile, because only during that short period of time do we experience Peace and quiet~.
What i just noticed recently is that he's not much different from one of the guys i see every week at GSMB, and seeing that fucker at GSMB never fails to destroy my mood. All that fucker can say when i see his face is "I'm damn tired leh, can u stop giving me all these shit?" And starts whining like a bloody baby while his mates cleanup his mess for him. What i couldn't stand the most is since we send in stores to GSMB to repair everyday, that FUCKER is the very same FUCKER who receives our stores, and he treats them like scrap. He doesn't handle these stores properly and just slams them at corners or starts using wires as whips for his own fucking entertainment. If i wasn't a recruit i'm gonna make sure he signs a fucking 1206 for that.
So what about this guy in my store? Similar pattern. Everytime he gets a job, it's the same sentence from him "Wo hen Lei leh, Wei she mo mei ci gei wo sai kang zuo!!" And he's probably the only one sitting around bragging and whining. It doesn't really matter who gives him work. He regards it all as saikang.
And as far as i'm concerned, he brags to people about all the bloody work he does in the store. Ironically, it ain't him doing it. He throws half of them to me. And I clean the mess of others as well apart from HIS dirty work. Even talking about paperwork, all the signatures and sorts, he always say I'm untrained and when i start i confirm sign until my fingers break. Whatever with the fuckshit, I type everyday, i write almost everyday, I don't think i'll lose out in seeing who's hands breaks first.
Just today, going out-detail with him was hell. ANY MOMENT WITHOUT HIM NEAR ME WAS SHEER PEACE AND HAPPINESS. Once he shows up, my torment begins. He curses and swears at everybody, but bear this in mind. He does it behind their back. He talks big, yes, but he's actually pretty much of a dog who hides behind the bigger people. In other words, he pushes the blame to the big guys when something goes wrong. Especially Benny who eats the shit for him, it's pretty unforgivable.
One thing i just noticed as well, he hates showing people that he's alone, always needs someone to accompany him. I'm not suprised why. He needs someone to brag to. He seriously can't stop. . . . Today i hit him pretty hard, but he kinda didn't wakeup. He was braggin bout me removing my triangle plate just 2 weeks ago while his was removed so long ago until he's pretty unhappy when his mother just passed her driving(So his car has to have a triangle plate).
For my family, they don't give a fuck, my bro, my dad drives with probation plates during my probational period and yet they just say "Aiya lazy to remove lah, it's ok, leave it there." I also abit lazy to remove =p. I told him that, then he try to talk big somemore "Aiya not used to it lah, triangle plate everyone bully u." I just went "True, bully me maybe, but my bro n dad? They bully people more like it -_-" Then he tok big again "Ahhh you should have seen me when i chiong expressway 160km. I felt like telling him "U should have seen me on the expressway travelling 16km per hour without giving a fuck for the cars behind me."
He's a man full of bull, and one person not many can tolerate. Which is gonna be one of the very first assignments for myself which bears similarity to my parents. I don't tolerate their crap, and this guy has a huge multiplication more crap than my family members Add together. So i figured, maybe, if i could take on this guy's crap and just smile while he brags/insults me/talks bull/push saikang to me, tolerating my parents would probably mean nothing to me.
Not that i can really tolerate myself going mad at my parents daily when my dad waits for me to come out of camp everyday to pick me up -_-. But somehow the temper just comes along like as if it's uncontrollable. I need my dad to give me a slap. . .
I just thought of a nice solution too. Just bring my MP3 player n full blast when i'm in store, that'll keep me peaceful.
Oh by the way, i called the fucking medical centre to confirm my pes status. Bloody fuckshit, i'm still pes B, so what the hell, they should have let me complete my BMT, miserable to be a recruit. I also felt funny why i can do pushups so easily now but my pullup has fallen like 1/2 of my old value. Now i can only do 3. SAD CASE! AIM FOR IPPT GOLD!!! It's good to aim far, AIM BEYOND YOUR LIMITS! Yeah right -_- Utter bullshit~.
Tennis open's coming up soon too. If i get the casual old men as opponents the pressure wouldn't be there. I'm dealing with kids now, kids who trash me almost yearly. But here's the catch. They're lousier than me, but i still lose to em yearly. Seemed so damn fateful that i was placed in the same group with them. It's life as if heaven's challenging me to wake up my idea and start fighting for what i want to fight for. That's where the pressure's from.
But like dave says, when we're non-seeded, we're the chumps, so we lose, we got nothing to lose. But when we win, we got something to talk about. So basically, it's a win-win situation. Though on my side, i just want to have a good game, and i 'll be more than happy.
Seriously everyone around me's improving and i'm deproving. That's the progressional movement of a coach? No right -_-. So what the hell . . .
Babies are curious creatures who touch/eat anything they see.
Small kids are cute little kids who just gets happier when you get more irritated.
Teenagers are dumbasses who thinks they're growing up by distancing themselves away from their family.
Adults are people who think they've lived long enough they think they know it all infront of their family.
Old men are people who think they've got so damn much experience they can get cocky with any single person they see.
Such is the flow of humankind in the SAF, The older the person is, the more wary you better be.
Posted by borny @ 10:25 PM
This day marks the biggest day of my life depending on what i do and what I seriously PLAN to do.
I took part in some Tennis Open thingy in my club. Seems like I got some pretty. . . Cock players. . But it's obvious that at my current status, i'm gonna lose badly to even those cockheads.
To overcome, to defeat, and to win for my own desire. Wondering if i'm able to do that is one thing. I had a feeling it was a little fateful for me to end up having these people to play against.
So it's time to wakeup? If there is a time when your form is totally off, will it be off all the way for that day? Of course everyone says "Of course not", but who knows how to overcome it? Not many, not even myself. Guess i have a week to find that out for myself.
Kick some ass, get my ass kicked, even if i get trashed, i better make sure that i'm putting my opponent through a tough battle. I'm a fucking coach dammit. Even if i'm the worst ranked, I should even be able to pull some crap out. Can't call myself a good coach if i can't even maintain a rally with people of these levels.
Smell the pain~ Smell the pressure~ Smell it all~ guess it wouldn't be a challenge if things went that easily. Hope i finally can tell myself "I did my fucking best" i suppose.
Posted by borny @ 12:39 AM
Sunday, June 26, 2005
This day marks the end of our final traditional . . . . . dunno what thing. . .
Well it's our Grandma's 2nd death anniversary so we're supposed to use our entire fridays, saturdays and sundays for the occasion.
So much for the "spend the whole day" there anyway. I gradually dissapeared from time to time for my tennis and advice from mother to go home and rest and all that kinda things.
I didn't really regret going there, getting to see old relatives, and i get to play with a chicken and a duck =D. Somewhat i really feel weird when i play with them and when i think i'm eating chicken rice (MY favourite food somemore).
Well overall, the whole thing was pretty fruitful, except for the fact that no one actually took this seriously. Everyone's body was there but mind elsewhere, playing with this, that, whatever they can find and sorts. Not that i can say anything since i've been doing the same anyway =p.
Somehow I was having alot of fun with this relative of mine who i rarely see. Maybe, on normal times, once a year. Chinese new year, that is. Apart from that, she doesn't show up anywhere near my family. It's easy to understand why with her stupidly quiet and shy nature. Somehow looking at her reminded me a little of my Dajie Christine, except that she's not at all a bitch compared with my full fledged bitchy dajie =X.
Normally, i dun really suan girls, and they normally steer clear of me since i don't disturb them. Watch sjai and dave get whacked/beaten by the girls, i'm more or less clear, apart from maybe a periodic nothing-better-to-do comment i just felt like blurting out and got hit by people like weiling, sarah and sorts? The usual girls who whack sjai/dave/dan etc. the most, cept i get hit very seldom.
Well this relative of mine hit me like 30 times so far cause i was actually so damn bored, and it's pretty entertaining to disturb her since she's always hiding in some corner playing with her hair or the table cloth or even the chopsticks. Come to think of it i did recall her staying with me over at my house before, just that it was so damn long ago i had zero idea on what probably happened in the past.
Whatever the case is, it's all over, and i'll probably see her 7 months later, so whatever. What's closer is those mahjong queens are prolly gonna crashback to s'pore in the next 2 months. Not that i can read their minds, but i can tell they're gonna come back screamin for their 4th kaki and her whoknowswhatshe'sdoingrightnow syndrome. If things go worse, they'll start asking me to drive there to pick them up, and i hope they don't start bringing back mahjong tables and tiles along.
Anyway i think it's been a week or 2 since liping returned, seems like she's still busy messing around. Looks like she's gonna leave soon. I think i'll give her a case full of firewood so that she can use them in aussie to keep herself warm. Even better i'll just buy her a lighter or give her the solid fuel i got from camp.
Now that i think about lighters, I just remembered this new girl who entered my life. In case i didn't mention to anyone of you, during the VJ vs TP friendlies, Dave and me teamed up against some 2 girls and we were told to NOT give no chance, so i did just that and nearly whacked one of em. Now she's back to haunt me. She's RETURNED! With a whole new look and a whole new attitude until i had zero idea it was her until she opened her mouth and said i'm no gentlemen for nearly hitting her -_-. PETTY BITCHHHH. Ok whatever, I just figured she's pretty stupid anyway. She's more gullible than, let's say, Alicia, who believes her 6.3 racket can be unscrewed into 2 parts, the grip and the frame. She's also the stupid idiot who CANNOT CLOSE MY CAR BOOT PROPERLY, and i left it open all the way until i reached sjai's house. WTF. She still can remind me that her birthday's coming soon. Let me guess, think it's 3 days more. I'm planning to give her a red lighstick to warn people "DANGER, DO NOT GO NEAR" Since red normally means danger =p.
Anyways. Someone might want to see this, and i do seriously feel it anyway, so whatever, they can be happy about it. Dajie -_- Miss u lar hor. . . Abit miss your stupid logic and your nagging. It's also thanks to you I'm still looking brightly into the future. So what can i say? Dun die so early bah. U also ah, careful abit lah, change boifrens so often machiam changing clothes. Dun think i dunno lor -_-. I normally hate these kinda girls the most, but you. . . . I bet you got your own reasons, because i think you're the most experienced of the 4, and also the bitchiest -_-.
Weiling hor. . . Miss family liao right, dunno how to appreciate them right. It's ok, i also liddat. At least i told myself not too long ago. "Be it i have a father who acts tough, be it i have a overly-concerned mother, but I'm born to die for them, anyone who makes life hard for them will be my enemy for life." As to how this conclusion came by, I'll keep it a secret because it's classified. You just made me wonder how i'm gonna survive in aussie for a person who doesn't cook.
As for my coaching, I didn't want to make things complicated. I've got people asking me to decide whether it's s'pore or aus, and why i chose this course. I'll make it simple now. I'll decide when i find out what i can survive on, and whether or not i become a tennis coach, doesn't matter. Things change as time flies, like my mum said. I'll take that degree as decided on. As to tennis coaching, it's the go ahead with the simplicity that if it doesn't succeed, then i'll plan an alternative. Afterall, i'm not just a tennis coach.
I did spend this week waking people up, i do hope they wakeup. It's pretty fun talking to them. And actually, it's very fun being an optimist, with the exception of the many challenges you face in your life. So what can i say, I'm a pessimist who thinks optimistically =D.
~Ah Keong~ Don't look down. If there is something you must do, only look forward and continue the path that you chose till the very end.
Posted by borny @ 10:57 PM
Horoscopes seriously amaze me at times for their amazing accuracy.
You can expect to have some small setbacks today, Wong Weng Keong. It may be that your independent mindset won't be appreciated by certain people around you. Face it: Your habit of always getting off the beaten track irritates some people and you can't do anything about it. This would be a good opportunity to take stock and think about your professional orientation. Do you like the direction your career is headed?
Now I did seriously have a setback, and i wouldn't really call it small, but that's fine. I'm also wondering what's getting off the beaten track?
On today's coaching, i actually realized that my tennis skills on coaching and competitive side has dropped drastically, and that something such as self-problem solving needs to be done. On the other hand I also started waking some stupid kids up and getting them to get serious in tennis, although i really doubt it, but at least i threw what i wanted to throw at them, so that's very much fine for me.
So my setback today was pretty hell of a bad time. For some crappy reason uncle mike sent me off the GIRLS court with the hard-hitters but with no sense of direction and accuracy whatsoever and make them run like idiots. Well they instantly brought me down with the attitude of NOT wanting me there but wanting someone else there instead.
Knowing my old self, I'd seriously prefer not making things complicated and just go with what the hell they want. Furthermore if you're talking about this kind of thing, if they're gonna do it half-heartedly with me around, there's no god-darn point. But hell Aloy's like busy around left and right, so i was thinking i'd maybe mess with them today and tell uncle mike not to ask me to mess with them anymore. They might just take my life someday with their hard shots, though i really doubt it since i seldom get hit, but when i do, those are really hard and PAINFUL shots.
So we went on with our coachie-student business, i feed and they whack. One, my feeding jackassedly sucked bigtime. The difference was really huge from when i did feeding back 2 weeks before the PTRs and NOW. Two. My volleys were totally fucked up for some goddamned reason which i'd never been able to figure out, and three, I'm still faced with half-hearted people, and they had to be girls as well. Shitloadda mess going on in my court, and i wasn't in any mood to give any "coaches" comments to them since i myself was fucking up hell badly.
Hell it ended pretty soon with unca mike comin along, noticing my feeding was gay retarded, and took over me~.
So i knocked the door of the other court smiling at some old fucks which i'd never coached for a long time (cause i was mainly coachin e kids, I dun really mess with the stronger asses). Boy, the girls on that side weren't so friendly also, so what the hell, i just thought it was probably just another bad day for me =p.
Coachin over, got on the car, and suprisingly, instead of feeling down, I felt a little. . . . . psyched up. Thinking back on coach Sjai and all the support i had all this while, it wouldn't feel right to just look down. At least i realized that doing things the optimist way is really much tougher than being the pessimist, but at least that's the coward's route. Like coachie always says, look up to it as a challenge. So on my eyes, I probably feel that i'm not up to coachin those baseball players yet, but there'll be a time. Afterall, i did mess with people worse than them before. I may not have the skill there, but i have the experience =D.
Well that's the end of my setback, dunno why i'm always thinking alot, but at least it's thinking positively now, i can proudly say. Now i just need to find a way to improve myself and improve my communication with students. But u know, to me, kids are tougher to coach than the better ones.
I also wonder why girls seem to enjoy avoiding me. I used to think pretty obviously that i'm probably not so good looking and not so manly to have girls look up to me, but now that i'm really receiving so many "You look so much better" and "U actually quite gentleman mar", I was thinking probably my kinda person takes time to develop friendships with people, especially girls. Afterall, i don't really think i'm that bad, AT LEAST i have a few female friends, no? Unlike some *cough* Person i used to know in CEN that time. Now i'm insulting people, jeez that's bad, i'm gonna slap myself for that. Yeah right, who never got insulted by me before -_-.
I've also been thinking bout the 7 SAF core values. And many of you NSF people would probably go "WTF KEONG U SIAO AH" when i say this, but i actually got bored and read the SAF 7 core values book. And not to say it's bad, i just had the time, and i didn't regret it. It did emphasize more on the values and i knew it's full meaning.
Loyalty To Country ---- This one who dunno can go to hell
Leadership ---- I've led many people in my life, in games that is, is that enough? Do i really have leadership? As far as i know, i'm only pretty good at delegating jobs equally as well as listening to people's comments/discussions before any decision making.
Discipline ---- Hell no, i don't have discipline, and i probably need to kick off my rash nature if i wanted it
Professionalism ---- Probably what i'm needing the most in my coaching life. The ability to display my full power and effort at all times regardless of whether anyone, no one, or everyone is watching. I've always been playing with the key idea of "showing off" when people are around. That's a pretty bad habit and is something i need to kick.
Fighting Spirit ---- I've always been figuring out a way to bring out my max motivation to play tennis, i guess it applies here as well. But not like i'm defending my country by playing tennis, so not many ways to figure out on this one.
Ethics ---- ........Shit i forgot what this is. . . . . I think it's how you strongly believe in what you want to believe in ?
Care for soldiers ---- Now we all know this is plain bullshit, so . . there's nothing to talk about.
Think i'm also missing the "Roars" coming in daily, but i guess she's enjoying her holiday, so just wish she enjoys herself, and 2 months more before i see her stupid face.
I've never really asked for anything in my life, but as long as my family lives on well, I guess it's okay to carry on getting irritated by them and getting pissed at them.
Posted by borny @ 1:01 AM
Wednesday, June 22, 2005
My days in camp, had only passed by for 3 weeks, and the group i'm in, the signal group, is full of people who are full of, crap, and, full of contradictions.
I'm having a hard time with that group, but it should be a pretty typical work environment surrounded by people all over, so let's go over with describing my "work environment".
Signal formation, hendon, has 12 people in it, well used to be 12. Our dear Kevin Lam went over to be armskote man while nicholas went over to clerk~ so we're left with 10.
So we have our 2 sides ICS, Ops-tronic and Communication side, i'm on comms side.
Thomas Mah is our Opstronic In charge and apart from my other IC, he normally takes charge of what happens in our master's absence. From what i see in him, he's a pretty funny fellar who's slack in his job and slack in us as well. It's true that he threw a few saikang to me but it's really not much to brag about. Only thing i noted about him so far is his chaokeng personality. He, basically chaokengs alot, but there's nothing wrong with that because i believe only stupid people don't chaokeng.
Benny Chee~ Our comms IC, directly in charge of me in a way. From what i see, he has a sense of responsibility, because he always say he make things nice nice before putting people in charge of it. Although he KP alot, if he dun kp also whatever fuck, nothing's gonna happen. Everyone actually dun like him, but i wonder why. He gives me the most saikang, but i do it gladly, simply because he does it along with me. It also seems that without him, most of the comms side would end up fucking up because the rest of the whole lot dunno what to do. And seriously, in my eyes, this guy has taken the blame for any single person long enough and signed more than enough extras to let me understand what he's trying to do, but pple dun like him? Dunno why, maybe coz i only there for 3 weeks. But i seem to like this fellar.
Shaun Wong is comms 2IC with a pretty lazy personality but does not push his job to others. Once something needs to be done, he'll start summoning the comms people to assist and we'll run around like idiots along with him to get things done. There's nothing much i can say about him except for the fact that he doesn't bully me knowing that i am a recruit.
Pang Xi Wei Is opstronics 2IC cum smoker god number 1. In the whole comms, he probably has the most handsome face who also prefers lazing around until some stupid job arrives. Normally when a job knocks on our door everyone will start working like crazy anyway. He seems like a nice guy, talks like an ahbeng, but is gradually ok towards me. What i probably don't believe is he goes for medical appointments weekly for some counselling thingy in CMPB cause he beat up some lieutenant?
Hiddy Tan~ The one I'd say is the most reliable, most trustable, and the most humble. Always dun call me to help, must be me go and ask or other pple ask me help him. He's smoker god number 2 and is really FAT. But that doesn't affect our relationship. He's practically the most cheerful around and the most "I dun give a fuck what happens in this store, i'll just stick to being friends with everyone and do my fucking job" kind of person.
Desmond Seet is the person who received me along with hiddy when i first entered HQ CDO. I dunno if i have a wrong idea of him, but he's pretty much the closest person to me whom i Don't want to be close with. First day he taught me everything and sorts. Up till now, he's still teaching, but his true colors have always shown in my eyes. Have you ever known the type of person who has this mentatlity of "No one's gone through more than me" or "No one's more pro than me" or "No one is bigger than me". Somewhere there u get my idea. He's the biggest braggart i've seen in the signal store so far with the most crap to talk. Naturally bragging bout how much work he does all the time, what he's gone through in the past and sorts, he always manages to find a way to out-shine us in whatever we're talking about. The probably only thing he can't outshine me in is his educational level, which i'd rather not talk about. But the fact that he's been criticizing Benny pisses me to the top level because when benny passes me work, we do it. This ass today just threw me work and he sit in a corner tokin cock, and all he can do is keep reminding me to finish it. And he's just a private. . . . So much for all his bragging of how much work he does, he just throws it to others.
Finally will be me, assigned to be Battery Store IC by benny, not that i really wanted it since i had to deal with acidic materials but what the fuck. My main job will be saikang warrior to finish of the shit people mess up. Because i basically know nuts about signal wares. I have a feeling my days of dread are coming soon. And the longer this desmon goes on with his ranting, one day i have a feeling i'll just blow up at him. Knowing him, i won't beat him at debating because he simply uses hokkien and his loud, fierce voice to overrule anyone else, and if i did break it now, i wonder who will help me in future heh. How contradicting.
Posted by borny @ 9:27 PM
Sunday, June 19, 2005
Been having more fucked up days as well as pretty great experiencing ones.
I was thinking, since my parents are, my parents, afterall, i guess it's probably time to do something about them. Like, at least bother to understand why they're so irritating in my eyes.
And bingo, i did hit something as well as bring it forward to my own nature, which i probably INHERITED from them.
So let's see, on saturday my bro, was hospitalized. Yeah good for me, bad for him, but actually, wasn't so good for me since i figured he's still my brother. At least i know he won't die and i'm probably better off NOT visiting him since both of us will prolly be pissed at each other anyway.
That was the origin of my trouble on saturday as well. At that time i already parked at east coast and was walking towards macdonalds with chris, jh n liping and my mum called and, fucked me up.
She called, ask what time goin home, was pretty unhappy why i didn't even bother to ask where my bro was warded and sorts, and insisted that i came home early. So i just actually said 12, which she said, earlier, so i was like, ok fine u set a time and i'd adhere to it, and i'd appreciate it if she probably told me earlier. I just made it clear that i'd listen to her, that even if she wanted me back now, i'd just, GO BACK? And she went mad and just went "Aiya up to you lah, i dunno lah". Then i just said again "No u tell me what time, i'll come back", then she just "aiya up to you lah" Again and put down e phone. goddammit.
What i can easily gather from here is that my mum, is, actually, same as my father. Cannot lose out, wants things her way, and wants to be convincing. What's the difference? My mother can convince slightly better, but not as good as my captain dave -_-.
Just look at it, she wants me back early, so i'm just respecting her as my mum and will "Listen" to her "Orders" while she feels she's forcing me back, then liddat also not happy. I really wonder why it's so important for them to just WIN in terms of convincing the other side. But what the hell, i'm the same =p.
And my dad? He drives me mad, father's day today, but my mood was so bad i didn't even say happy fathers day to him. I just got to CGH earlier to visit my bro, warmed the floor for 15minuets, and left already for "lunch". And i thought it was just eating downstairs. Oh yeah right, uncle came with car and dad said needed go to town area to get documents. Yeah fair enough, then ask me where i wanna eat. This was how it went
Dad: Di where u wan go eat?
Me: Anywhere lor
Dad: No u decide lah
Me: Somewhere near hospital lor, so can faster go back visit kor
Dad: Aiya we going town area anyway what, eat in town area lor.
Me: Anything lor, u decide
Dad: No lah, u decide lah.
Me: I said anything already, but if go town area, then traffic chialat chialat, then parking hard to find, how sia, waste alot of time leh.
Dad: If the place i choose not crowded how leh?
Me: Means you already decided a place to choose lah, then we go there lor.
Dad: NO LAh u choose lah.
Me: *Sucking my damn thumb and trying to shut up rather than shout at him*
What do we gather from here? My dad's another one. Wants things his way, wants to sound convincing, but TOTALLY CAN'T CONVINCE PEOPLE. He leaks out every single intention of what he says and basically there's no way u can't tell what he wants. Everytime he asks where we wanna go, he actually already decided on a place and probably after we just say where he will just say aiya we try here here here lah ok? And hopes we say ok lor and done.
From the above conversation u can seriously tell what i'm trying to say.
And the reason why i'm really pissed with him is the fact that his "Act Smartness" Can really go so far it might really just kill somebody.
When i had my high fever, i was really sick. At first Icy cold water was used to cool my body, and i really suffered, then my aunt changed it to normal temperature water and squeezing it less so that water stays on my skin to keep it moist.
I seriously felt better with the 2nd technique, but my father kept insisting on continuing icy cold water. And what happened? I suffered like shit. My auntie's logic was backed with pretty logical explanations. MY FATHER HAD NO LOGIC, it's based plainly on what HE INSISTS is right. That's what i can't damn hell accept. On that day itself i really suffered so badly i went "Daddy Why u keep insisting on changing? U want to kill me izzit?"
And there he went again, going back CGH, then they all went back home while i stayed back with my bro (I had a feeling he wanted to talk to me since we didn't cross paths for a long time, but we didn't talk much anyway). I went to buy juice for him (Learnt from my auntie that fruit juices helps his vitamin content and thus helps his body immunity ++++. Father came in later in the afternoon and act smart again "Why didi go buy so much fruit juice for u? Can just squeeze at home then i bring over and bla bla bla bla bla" What's better was, we're in a damn hospital. He went straight to the remote, turn on TV, put LOUDLOUD, while my bro was RESTING. What a damn asshole, i really wanted to scream at him "DAD wanna watch TV loudly, GO HOME WATCH, WHAT THE FUCK U DOING HERE DISTURBING KORKOR'S REST?"
Sheesh, i really wonder what my family's made of. Because they're my family anyway, i'm gonna be real honest with them and i'm gonna expose their damn bloody shitty nature. I'll see how they react. I can imagine my mum saying "Whatever lah, being a mother so hard, i quit lah" and my father will just go "I should just get out of this house lah" Like it's the simplest way of winning a quarrel instantly, what crap.
. . . . End of Report . . . . .
Posted by borny @ 11:36 PM
Wednesday, June 15, 2005
Funny day today. . . .
Guess what. Wokeup at 6:55am today. . . .Totally panicked. Bugged my sick father to fetch me and i arrived there. . . EARLY. . . 7:30am.
More fuckups. Forgot my donation card, forgot to do some dumb survey which i was "Forced" to do by my HQ bigshots.
Got home, blew up my entire room just to find the damn card, if not i got to pay fucking $80 + 40 days DB if they're unhappy with me, and last minute i saw it standing on my bro's table -_-.
What's better was when my search ended, i was pretty pissed, Over myself. I was thinking maybe i should just serve that bloody DB so i'd fucking wakeup to my stupid idea of being such a irresponsible dick.
Angrily went down drink milk cooldown. Then had a few words with my brother about that card, just making sure it wasn't his.
Then came the thing i feared worst. My mum trying to play the detective once again, talk here talk there. And i feel like i'm actually accusing my bro of taking my stuffs.
Actually, He does, take my footwear whenever he likes, take my magazines. I knew that anyway, but what the hell. I would have just stepped into his room rather than ransack my own if i thought he'd be bored enough to take some worthless card over.
And i really didn't wanna talk to my bro, hell, just a few words, whatever.
Then came the big shit. Dunno how the whole family can suddenly start screamin at each other over some petrol business and shit. It's getting harder to confide in this family. I feel i need to get out real soon. I'm not even expecting to get the car on friday. I think i'd just shut up and open up my EZlink card.
What's with my whole family, just when i thought i've actually matured a little by not throwing my temper at anyone, the whole family's throwing em all over e place.
Posted by borny @ 10:03 PM
Tuesday, June 14, 2005
Campus updates. Yeah right campus my foot, CAMP updates =D.
Commando bois sure are scary with all the red berets running around. Better yet, I know a fucking load of them, just that they don't remember me. Thank goodness.
Everyone's been asking me if i'm actually learning about all these signalling equipment and learning to use them etc. Tough luck, hell no. I've actually been spending my entire time doing paperwork, paperwork, and more paperwork.
Apparently some motherfucker decided to make a mess of what he's supposed to do and "Defect" into the clerical side of HQ CDO, and that really pissed me off because I'm the one cleaning up his fucking mess. Fucking cheebye.
2 full days of arranging, filing, unfiling, punching holes, labelling, checking and correcting. I don't recall taking any rest anyway, except maybe for lunch and a 1hr nap or something per day. That's a fucking 7-8hours of paperwork a day. Damn that motherfucker. The bigger deal is I'm not fucking done yet zZzZz.
As for my fellow colleagues, they're a bunch of nice guys who i don't get along with. Because they all fucking speak alien languages that i catch no fucking shit at. Hokkien, canto, whatever. So when they all start laughing, i'm just sitting on a corner doing my work since i just don't understand anyway.
I'm like a bloody wimp in that store as well, everyone's wearing shorts and T-shirt while i'm wearing my stupid long 4 with T-shirt PLUS my TP jacket cause it's so damn fucking cold in there but those cheebyes will just go "cold meh?" Ever thought how i'll survive cold weather in aussie? No idea -_-. Maybe the producer of condor heroes should tell me where i can dig that Icy Bed out so i can practice my tolerance in the cold, yeah right. I'd probably freeze to death within seconds.
Anyway, gotta really smell things going on in here. At first I was just actually typing to waste time and blogging is seriously the best way for me to put my worries somewhere so i can look back on it some other day, and to think so many of you are actually reading em. Not much i can really say but, it feels great, and embarassing at the same time. Who would have known that i was actually "publicizing" my stupidity to everyone -_-. But i guess, it feels great to let it be known.
I just did another satisfying thing, and that is rearranging my room. Now it looks more like a . . . . . . uhm . . . . . Army like-room. Standby area condition, just that my old habit remains, can't find anything that i need all the time. And come to think of it, the old gang hasn't been stepping into my room for a long time now. Guess our days are over, everyone's busy "Working" heh.
Anyways, I really spent some time thinking back, and figured, there's something which is really right infront of my face all the time at home, that i can never live without, that has always been giving alot of examples of human nature, be it exagerration or impossibility, the point still lies there. So i'll probably find some time and talk about it.
I'm outta here , 7hrs to fall in time.
Once a retard, always a retard, but who says retards can't succeed?
Posted by borny @ 11:15 PM
Monday, June 13, 2005
Well, someone did mention i love typing. And i do believe that as well. Nothing better to do i just love to move my fingers once in awhile to type out some long essay.
Actually i don't know how to start things off, but i did notice a few people actually getting pretty worried bout my condition. And from what i would say, it would be like what Mag says, "You're just having that time." Which i'd pretty much understand. Sometimes you just have to wake up your fucking idea. And I've woken up my fucking idea 50000 times and given up 50001 times.
Anyway, suicidal is out of the question for my life, because i know my values and my responsibilities in this body of mine. Furthermore, i have a goal to go for, and like what others would say, "Your suffering is nothing comparable to mine." Which i'd totally agree.
What I'd like to do now though, is to just continue a story of my very own retarded nature for my own stupid awareness and that i'd really wakeup my idea once and for all.
As most of you would already know, i'm a pessimist by nature, and for long enough, this pessimism has stuck to me for a long time, and i thought it wouldn't do much harm thinking negatively so that you don't expect too much. The major difference that i see now, is you achieve nothing if you have no determination, so being a pessimist is actually bringing me down greatly. It has gone on long enough till my lack of confidence and courage has stayed an all-time-low and is still going down. I do have my reasons, but i believe 99.999% of it is pure bullshit and just plain excuses, so i'll discard them and reshuffle my graveyard when i pick up a feldon's cane somewhere.
From what i see, i have people encouraging me, people worrying over me (Like my MOTHER) zzzzz, and people helping me out. But as what i see, some things, i need to do alone. Looking on the bright side isn't just looking on the bright side anymore. I'm probably at such a dark level i'm gonna have to dig my way up to see the light.
It's pretty dumb saying this myself, but my own beliefs and my very own principles, are actually just bringing me down. What's with the failure to adapt to reality and the problem of bringing myself to believe that i am actually capable of something. I've watched more than enough animes to even know that the easiest way is to walk away, even though i keep stressing that these animes emphasize alot on life and is a very great guide to us, I've never actually done it myself -_-.
Only 5 more hours before i book back into hendon. I'm seriously comtemplating what i should do on this very day.
Last time i knew myself as the "act cool" bastard who's just look upon everything as childish, walk around like a stupid ahbeng and go around saying "I'm not gonna do this stupid thing" and "ZzZzZz plain bullshit" And just refuse to listen to anybody.
In my poly days, i've become more open, too open in fact, and stupidly becoming a gullible person who believes everything a person says. You start hearing me say "Izzit?" "Really arh?" "cool sia" like machiam i know nothing of this world. And seriously i don't.
So am i gonna start my next revolution? Instead of lazing around, am i capable of actually reading the darn newspaper everyday and understand more about what's going on in this world? Am i gonna be the one making people say "Really ah?" rather than me be the one learning new things? This will be the toughest hurdle in my life and i think i'd rather just sleep at home. But one thing's for sure. Someone please give me a bloody tight slap if i ever think about giving up on my tennis coaching again, because i think my dumbnesty has gone on long enough.
I have to admit, my biggest hurdle is i'm easily swayed by people's comments and criticisms, and i'm easily demoralized by what i see. Like "Damn, can't even handle a buncha kids, am i capable at all anot?" Being the pessimist I am, this is really gonna be tough. Anyone who believes i can break this hurdle, I'd say to you "Don't bullshit lah", but I'm not going down without a fight. As much as there's always someone better than you, there's always someone lousier than you. Although it sounds really retarded, i've got to realize what a lucky bastard i am up to this level.
Army taught me this thing, You fight, if you win, you gain, if you lose, you learn a lesson, nothing ventured, nothing gained.
Does my face really matter up to this level? Why am i always comparing myself with others? Since when has the Keong who even dared to get into fights become such a wimp?
No one knows, even i don't know, at least i'd probably think the closest link as to who proved to me that i'm actually a know-nothing-at-all is I'm-not-gonna-say-who. Army has further reinforced that fact. And it really feels great to know more, knowing you are capable of washing your own fucking clothes, folding them, tidying up your damn place. All these gives you a sense of satisfaction. I've seriously destroyed half of my lazy genes, and i've even begun sleeping early just cause of camp (Except for today, cause i had a 3hr nap).
I seriously would feel great going to war for Singapore, even if they said "Singapore would never win lah, bla bla bla bla." All our training in BMT, even if the toughness level was greatly reduced, the knowledge is still valuable. I just realized one thing as well. In the face of death, I would tremble in fear, but the other fact would be, I'm trembling with excitement. Live range showed that to me, and during my training, i've always pictured myself being in a real war, that would actually show why i love to anyhow prone all over the place anywhere i am.
If what i think is true, probably all these "Times" that mag mentioned would actually be times when you wonder what the hell is happening to you and it's about time you "evolve" to your next level of Please-Fucking-Wake-Up-Your-Idea Session.
So i'm actually not as mature as i actually think i am, how far am i actually able to go? Guess i won't rely on my fortune teller anymore, but rely on my confidence to go far. . . . .
Keong~ Like I Always Tell Myself, It's Not The People Around Me, It's Myself -_-.
Posted by borny @ 12:49 AM
Saturday, June 11, 2005
A whole week since i've been in Hendon, and it's been awhile since I left tekong.
Somehow i really did think if it was a good idea to remain in tekong. My biggest regret was why i didn't remain to help the sergeants who helped me out so much, but it all turned out pretty contradicting for me when i figured it was actually much better when you talk about the distance hendon was from my house. (Just doesn't feel close enough everytime i had to take the dumb bus and go past weiling's house). But considering my current situation of waking up at 6 everyday and falling out of home by 6:30 is actually a pretty lucky timetable of mine. And i won't really say much about my workload cause i've been having a few experiences regarding loads of paperwork so far, but i can't say i've been ill-treated cause i've had my fair share of sleep in there =p.
As a pastime as well, i kinda tried understanding myself to my utmost knowledge (As usual), and i can say that at least i've succeeded in pretty much knowledge about it. All thanks to army -_-.
Amazingly i had a few praises of how much i've actually changed after i entered army. I do agree that i've been more responsible, more independant, more aware of my pros and cons as well as my ability to blend in to new surroundings asap.
I do agree that army has taught me how to fold clothes, wash the fucking clothes, organize my time properly, dry them but not ironing them, tidying up my own room up, knowing my own work that i have to do etc. And more importantly, not pushing work to anyone else =p. As well as i was aware of my intelligence level and capability in comparison with my army mates. I'm actually at the near bottom level on both sides. The only thing i'm actually capable of in the army is my ability to justify the need to train and get tortured in BMT. Things which people normally find boring, i actually find it interesting. Play too much war games i guess.
So i've always been wondering to myself if i am actually in any state to survive if i go overseas now. And i can really say it'd be at least much better than before i entered the army, except for the fact that i still can't cook, i do have a feeling i'll be in trouble if i happen to have a day when i just don't feel like stepping out of the door to buy food.
Apart from all these justifications, i've actually looked upon my own nature as to my current position with my brother, mother, father, and friends.
Putting my bro in place first, I'm not on talking terms with him and i'm the one who wants it that way. I actually feel much better with it with him being out there making a fuss over every new thing he spots in my room, and he steps in my room much more than i step into his. I've also noticed i've had this concept that if anything in my room goes missing, I'd definetely think the culprit to be him, even though i've proven myself wrong about 95% of the time. Just so happens i suppose it's old habit, since he just takes my stuff as and when he likes anyway, even up till now, just that it's not as bad as i think it is. But judging from this situation, you can say i'm a pretty hot-headed and petty fellow.
Taking my mum and dad now, i bet everyone knows how they're trying so hard to get me to talk to them now, i can't say i'm on a good relationship with them, and i'm the guilty party yet again. My better friends would know how over-protective they are for me and how much they care for me until it brings me to the state of disgust. Simply situations would somehow be like situations where they said they'll fetch me home after training even though it was OKAY for me to take a bus home, but as usual, they insisted. But what else? She wants to rush home for a mahjong game, so i ended up having to leave early as well. Don't know why she wants to try so hard to TRY to Help out, but ends up making situations sticky, and she still loves to do it. Same goes for my father, my dad has a problem of talking too much good things. Always says this and that to make me feel happy when i know they're all dumb empty promises in the end. Dunno what he's trying to achieve. I do know that my relationship with my mum has drastically improved since that incident where i booked out of tekong and was on the verge of death with my high fever situation. I sure felt saved that she came for me. So i suppose i'll try to be more kan-de-kai. In fact she's actually doing it too much sometimes i'd even call and ask if she's available to fetch me -_-, And i'm trying hard not to get used to it cause i'll be alone in australia, but she doesn't seem to understand that. From this situation, I'd say i hate people who try too hard, I hate hassles and tassles, prefer things simple, not a very grateful person and hates empty lies =p.
What else? It feels kinda weird saying this, but i do admit that i've been feeling a little left-out these days. I guess it's natural on my mind, least i'm trying to figure that my best friends are actually busy or whatsoever.
Naturally when you talk about my best buddies, it's got to be Mr Leong JH. Really can say since i entered army we seldom meet, and even if we do meet, my face would probably be half sianz with my mind flooded with troubles from my mother as per normal, who would always love to call and ask "want a ride home?" and she can ask like 4 times even though i just keep saying no. That's how extreme she is. I wonder when i'll ever get used to it.
Anyway, it really seems like our friendship is distancing, his smses don't normally come back, which i'd just assume he's busy, and even if he did call me out, i think i'd rather stay home. Somehow i already lost the mood to step out of my home.
And if i talk about the tennis team, there's really not much of the "buddy-hood" feeling there anymore. I guess it's only natural. Furthermore, the simplest justification i can give is cause i've gone through army, and our topics don't click. And as usual our captain is still his usual, proud self which i can't get used to, and my presence there seems to be just taking up space, so i really wonder if i should actually even bother going back there.
I'm even thinking back of the coaching thingy, for a person like me who takes all these "friendship" or relationship cases seriously, being emotional is one of the things which i'd probably feel wouldn't do good for me in the near future if you talk about the future i'm planning.
Even from the army days, it's easy to see that i'm actually the type who'd complain while doing work. But more importantly, i'm just doing it without even arguing. Give me work and i'd just complain n do at the same time. Is it just me or am i just a coward.
Someone's waiting for me out there. I know he is, he's waiting for me to break my cowardly barrier and openly talk to him, and i know he wouldn't mind, he just wants me to open my mouth, but i don't even feel like doing it, and i even prefer things that way.
Justification? I'm actually pretty afraid, I seriously feel i'm not up to it.
Up to this point, i seriously think i'm in a need for more open-minded views, and ultimately, it's just for my own satisfaction that i'd get to know what people think of me as, but it doesn't really matter as it is, because i think this is an unchangeable part of me. My nature i suppose? Some people don't care. I probably wouldn't care if i didn't actually think so much of myself, i wonder why i did as well -_-.
One more point i finally understood of myself, was why i easily hated people the last time. When i look at situations when i dislike people, there are normally 2 types. 1 is the "I just see buey song" and the other type would be realizing a person's true colors after associating with him long enough. Even in both situations, i can easily say when a person hates someone else, it's simply because he doesn't understand the current situation but acts like he does. In the army especially, you have alot of people talking about other people and what a sucker he is etc. and why bla bla bla. That's also the simplest way of simple justification that the person complaining is right, which is actually not at all the situation because he doesn't understand the situation at all, but talk like they know so much. Like 2LT Fadley said before, assumptions are the mother of all fuckups, and assuming is one of what mankind does best. Even for myself, when i talk about my best friends, i'm just assuming left and right, that's how we always make ourselves feel better, and at the same time we know that it's not true.
So looking at all these, seems like i have much things i need to do, to improve myself for the better. My best virtue i look at myself now, is my ability to identify backstabbers/assholes pretty quickly, and since i'm the petty type, i zero them in for life. And i don't regret that. At least i know what's right and what's wrong.
I've been able to sleep more peacefully these days as well, not much insomnia anymore. Probably because i don't have much to think about anymore and i have sorted out most of the messiness in my mind. Guess that's a good thing.
Actually i still have much of myself to talk about, but somehow i'm abit afraid to admit it right now. Maybe i'll try harder next time.
Somehow i'm getting along with my lonely life pretty well, i wonder if it's actually better that way, least i'm not forgetting the fact that people actually still read my blogs, which obviously shows that people still care, so i just wonder what i'm thinking. . . .
A mother who cares, but cares too much.
A father who tries so hard to please his sons.
A person who has true friends who doesn't have time for him.
A person who has friends all over, and also having reliable ones.
A person whose friends knows him well, and tries to help him, but to no avail.
A person who resigns to fate, and only looks at what's ahead of him.
A person surrounded by warmth, but always suspects of an ulterior motive.
That person knows all these are true, but he doubts these facts as well. Can't help it, dunno why i just keep doubting.
Keong~ what should i really use as a term to describe myself?
Posted by borny @ 11:25 PM
Sunday, June 05, 2005
This week, marks the biggest change in my life, just cause of a change in posting.
Sunday book in, Monday was fine, it felt really satisfying to do work for the sgts, Because these sergeants are people i'll definetely miss. Actually i already missed them . . . I'll never forget that event when we did the tents together. I'll keep the bad details away anyway, i'd prefer to give a brief description of all of them (even though i've already written peer appraisals about them so many times, this one is a full honest picture of what i think of them).
Platoon 2 Platoon Sergeant Benjamin Fang:
For this guy, i seriously changed my opinion on him for many times now. I did have a few misunderstandings with him, but i forgot 1 major fact which he actually showed his kindness to. Because on my first day i left my field pack behind, stupidly enough. PS Ben is one person whose kindness really spreads extremely far. Thinking back, i've had countless times when i ask him question and he says "I teach you this lah hor, but dun say i teach you one". So basically he ends up teaching me all the "easy + shortcut" rather than the normal method of teaching which everyone normally has to follow. So basically, it makes him a realistic person. Being OOT also gives another advantage, which is that you get maximum exposure with them, and although you still call them sergeant, the "rank" barrier is no longer there. Adding the fact that we're combat UNFIT, you practically can talk to them like a friend without any form of pressure anymore. So in my OOT period, i did help him out once in awhile, engage in serious talks with him and sorts. And seriously he regards us recruits like his friends and treats us very well. He seriously doesn't have much to complain about. He's taught me many things outside of what you learn in BMT as well, such a tent pitching, knowing the sergeants' tasks and sorts. He's totally broken my recruit-sergeant barrier.
Sergeant Sutan, My section commander.
This sergeant will probably be the one everyone remembers most. And i'll never forget that day he whacked me with that fateful day which got me flooded with prickly heat, water, camo and insect repellent. That day was also the day i assumed which got me to catch a cold, but i can't possibly say that as a reason or i'd get him into trouble, and i'd never want to. He has taught us much. Including how to scare the other bunkmates and play tricks on them. However we were stupid enough to expose ourselves by doing scares in LARGE groups of 3 sections just to scare the last section until there's no longer any mystery if anything goes wrong. The blame would probably directly go to us. Anyway, when i saw sgt sutan's photos before he entered NS, man, was i shocked. He was totally punk-like, with super unique hairstyle and dress sense, no one would not define him as a punk. But that's also the fact that i like him, the fact that he daringly does all these with his other friends. He has clearly taught the entire section what brotherhood is all about until right now, my bunkmates are hopefully enjoying themselves as well. I already damn hell missed everything we did together. Can't help wishing for another BMT with entirely the same gang. And i couldn't even complete it. . .sheesh.
Sergeant Fadzry, SEction 3 commander:
I would probably define this guy as the most dilligent one of em all. The sergeants who never seem to want to make a recruit do work if he himself can do it. Unlike all the other sergeants -_-. Though he scolded me quite a few times, it still felt very friendly and warm to me, as though he was never angry at all. Not that i really have much to say about him though, but at least, i enjoy doing work for him because he deserves it.
Sergeant Gavin. Section 4 commander:
Sgt Gavin is, well, a good man by nature. Kindhearted personally, but draws a clear line between friendship and work. So most of the time being under him, we're still being sent off to do work and all the other crapshits, but it doesn't really matter anyway, because that is our job.
Though he isn't from my platoon, and i didn't really associate with him much, before i got OOT, everytime i have a chance to associate with him, it's always a very fun and good one. And when i got OOT, that was when i had all the time in the world to associate with him. First time i actually got involved with him was because i reported sick and showed him my status, light duties 2 days. And by right, light duties should mean doing work and all other sorts of thing. He actually allowed me to go back to bunk to sleep. And i'm suprised, because his platoon knows what a monster he is. He has tatoos on his legs, giving people the impression that he's a gangster outside. Everyone also has heard of him, the biggest devil in the entire company. Everytime when he's duty instructor, no doubt you'll see his platoon suffering bigtime with pushups and everything else. 2nd time i got involved with him was also when i was attend B, but this time doctor gave it to me to prevent me from going field camp, but i wanted to experience what it was like so i requested to go. So while the whole company marches to the camp site, i took a tonner there and begun digging shitholes at the campsite. We were accompanied by Sgt Hafiz and Gavin and i was just bragging around to make my work enjoyable, while Sgt Hafiz was laughing at my bragging and challenging me and all that fuckshit, which actually improved our relationship and made the conversation very fun and enjoyable. After i OOT i began buying food for him, doing crapshitz for him, and yeah, it felt great working for him. Even at the tent pitching he was there, and it was fun as well. I'd probably regret not getting his handphone number, but what the hell. I really hope our paths will cross again.
This sergeant would probably be known outside as the most sadistic sergeant. I've also missed the best thing he has created from the company, the drill squad. His drills are amazing and he can actually get the drill squad to do that. Too bad i just had to post out too early to watch them. Sgt ISA has a funny, coarse tone to his talking and he is seriously sadistic. His teachings are also funny because he always teaches like "U use the foresight pose, and you target the motherfucker's body and end that motherfucker's life" and "When you throw a grenade, you shout "GRENADE" loudly so that your fucker friends can hear and you don't end up killing them accidentaly" and "The grenade has a killing range of 20m and injury range of 100, so any motherfucker within that range will die" etc.
You get the damn idea, all of his sentences has a motherfucker/fucker in it, and from those coming out from his mouth, it really sounds very funny. And being OOT shows that he may look unreasonable outside, but everyone knows he really is a very nice person. This is one sergeant i'll never forget and i'll proudly talk about.
This guy is quite hilarious at times and the way he behaves is really something to talk about. He doresn't really look capable of a sergeant, but he is capable of drawing us to him. Because of his kindness and the feel that he isn't a sergeant, it's easier for a recruit to get close to him. Not that i have much to say about him, but he's seriously a very nice person =).
The next sergeant i'll never forget. The sergeant that normal recruits don't see but only OOTs see often. Our quartermaster. The master supplier. He's a service side sergeant tho, that's why he's fat -_-. He's one of the few sergeants apart from sergeant sutan, ben, fadzry, gavin, isa etc. that actually does work along with us recruits. That's also the key to keeping the morale of soldiers high. Whenever your leader puts in effort to work hand to hand with the recruits, if the recruits respect you, no doubt they will get an instant morale boost and go 100%. That was what he did as well, he worked with us, he fought for a later book-in for us, and he has been very nice to us. Being under him and his 2 storemen has really made my saikang more satisfying. And when i work for them, i don't feel the "We are the unwilling working for the unworthy to do the unnecessary" at all. Zaini and Ijan, who can forget them =p.
This guy also hasn't really done much for us, but i also have to thank him for treating me like his kakinang throughout my OOT period until i booked out. I really don't mind buying food for him =).
Anyway. On my post-out i actually had an overdose of Panadols and tolerated my high fever all the way until i booked out cause i simply cannot tahan the medical officer. Even if i was sick, i would never forget what they did for me. Before i booked out, platoon 2 actually sang for us. PS ben, Sgt sutan, Sgt Samson, Sgt Isa, Sgt suhairi were all there to see us off. It really felt great. The one i really missed who wasn't there was Sgt Hafiz. And i know i didn't talk about Sgt suhairi because i can't find anything to talk about him. Because he's just another category of another very kindhearted and hardworking sergeant who i'd also willingly do work for. Actually there were good things to talk about. It really felt good to take over his work when he's not around. To shout to company line and asking for XXX people to fall in for XXX reasons, helping him out really didn't feel bad at all.
So, continuing the story, i was actually too sick to be touched about their warm farewell. And when i got out of tekong, boy was i glad. I really felt i was gonna die. Felt totally like shit. Down with fever 39.3 degrees and kena hit real badly. Had to get MC 2 days and i only reported to hendon on friday. I went on wednesday just to give MC. Man the TENSION. Commando Camp sia. . . .zzzzzz.
Friday was my first day working in hendon, and i wouldn't say my experience was good. Already the situation made me miss my BMT days and my sergeants especially. I hope my camp days will improve as of tomorrow. . .sheesh.
2 more days before my company POPs, and i couldn't even get leave to watch them. Sianzation. All the best to them i suppose . . .
End of report
Posted by borny @ 8:53 PM