E Legendary Loser -=Keong=- @ Your Service

2009-01-19T12:50:00.002+08:00

What Comes Around, Goes Around?
The question that the whole world's been questioning time and again.
People live through the course of their life and begin defining life the way they see it.
Some believe that if you do bad things in life, it will come back to you.
Some don't, and believe that the world is just what it is.

If you ask me, it's just another delusional factor of people who has given up on this world.
People who live only for themselves, people who has, very likely, been disappointed by the world time and again.
And no doubt, many people in this world fall into that category.
Where it's a dog eat dog world out there, and to survive, is to fight with others.

Now the question lies with a person's meaning of success or achievement.
I once koped a piece of paper off CENT club's room that says this:
"Success is not defined by obtaining everything you want, but by appreciating everything you have."
Now as with the saying, obtaining what you want is already as difficult as it is, getting a good pay, promotion, having a good life in future, but have you ever thought that maintaining's even tougher?
The more things I get, the tougher it seems to manage my life around.

And in all honesty, I've been looking at other degrees that are available for study.
Things like psychology, sports science. Now I'm looking at Environmental and Occupational Health and Safety.
The question really comes, such courses don't exist in the past, why do they now?
Without a doubt, life will always change, and with improvements, comes new problems that we'll try to resolve.
With increasing efficiency in transport, the lifestyle of people has greatly improved, people become lazier than normal and obesity rate goes up.
To counter that, they tap on awareness, and bring the degree, sports science, to train more people to bring promote this awareness.
What of Environmental health?
Needless to say, pollution has gone about the whole world, deforestation and more environmental deprovements.
And well, I guess the scientists are there to reduce the pollution rate.
But note it's just reduce, not really counter it, because the efficiency levels of transport outweighs the pollution levels.
So what comes around goes around? I believe so.

Staying stagnant is not really an option, but moving too quickly is a problem too.
On a daily basis, people will continually improve, beyond my will, I've been studying, from poly, to degree.
I took on something of interest, but I'm not putting effort into it.
I'm still working as my admin officer, but I'm now more on a PR man.
And being the PR kind, I've talked to many parents now.
Their problems are kinda similar to each other, and is really not much to be "advised" upon by a soon-to-be-24-year-old such as me.
And these, are businessmen, businesswomen, people who has succeeded career wise, but all have seem to see themselves as failure, family wise.
I don't even need to emphasize, you'll know what's going on.
And best yet, I'm on both sides of the world.
I teach the kids, so they talk to me.
I talk to the parents and chit chat with them.
Once again, I'm the one who's heard 2 sides of a story.
Kids are cute though, they're very direct, because they don't know how to beat around the bush anyway.

Goals Are There:
Not to pressurize you to achieve and losing your sight off everything else.
They are there, for you to improve yourself, your standard of living, while maintaining your current life, your ripple that is affected by everything you do.
Family, friends, colleagues, girlfriend.
What truly matters, is being content, happy, satisfied, confident, and meaningful of life.

Welcome to the world of Keong.
If you fall into pressure by the people around you, you are part of what's affected by the ripple of that person.
And it's a matter of whether you continue letting the ripple change your way of life, or staying strong with your own way of life.
Naruto's quote of "My way of the ninja" technically also should apply to people's "My way of living"
To live the way you want it to be, or to live the way the world wants it to be.
You decide.

~KeongSterZ~ All these might just change, you never know.~

2008-08-07T00:34:00.002+08:00

Responsiblity

A few weeks ago, I came across this man.
A man who I had no background with, all I knew was, he was an insurance agent.
And that he's related to a person that I've trusted with my life.
We hit it off fairly quickly with the "You can drop the formalities" issues.
And his life, reflected my own, in a similar yet not so similar fashion.
He was a man without much to worry about.
The chinese saying "Bu Chou Chi, Bu Chou Chuan."
For the cheena idiots "Don't need to worry bout clothings and food"
Which means don't have to worry about a living.
He was similar to me in that way.
But he was a spendthrift, and a crazy one at that.

I Thought I Was Thrifty:
With my way of spending, I felt I was pretty good already.
Until the day this man came across my mother.
Together with a broken bone, the one line that would carry me to the end of my life.
"You're born with a silver spoon".

I Never Realized:
That all this while, while I was working, sometimes going as much as 2k a month.
And studying, there was a subtle difference between me and everyone else in there.
These people were forced to watch their money closely, maintaining their budget.
I never had worries, sometimes, I'd save, sometimes, I'll just overshot.
And when that happens? My backup plan comes.
Mother, father.
Ultimately, I always had a way out of situations.
Sticky situations? I never probably got into one.
Everything was planned for me, I could waste my life off without a worry.
It's not about flashing a Mercedes or BMW on the road.
It's not about living the luxurious life of a millionaire.
But I was still "Silver Spooned"

The Time Is Not Yet Right:
It seems that I am not yet ready to begin my life of responsibility.
One that I will eventually walk into, and take on the role of my parents.

The Art Of Convincing:
It really astonishes me how buddies like JH and Jacky can keep screaming at me about my future time and again.
But I could never really see myself planning that far, and saving.
I was spoilt, nonetheless.
But that one line that just simply came out of this guy's mouth.
Sent me well on my way to prepare for that road that I will eventually walk on.
Responsibility.
I see more reason to live for now.

~KeongSterZ~ Bad things aren't always all bad.

2008-07-12T16:06:00.002+08:00

Comparative Anatomy

In the nature of the world, professionals described the world as such.
"It's a dog eat dog world out there."
Survival in this world requires you to compete with the people around you and to rise above them.
Such is the fate of the business world, the rules of management, the laws of survival.
All which I've read from related books.

Day by day, I seek a peaceful life, one which I will never get involved with the above.
By holding a simple mindset, I naively believed that we'll only run into such cases, in business.
As long as you stay out of that sector, you're fine.

Truth be told, they're everywhere.
Even in my work, it's a competitive nature, with a little fine lining in competition.
I've been relentlessly told to keep improving, to keep rising in terms of value, to survive.
And day by day, I feel this unknown feeling that's engulfing me every minute.
I am a happy man, on the outside.
Deep inside, I am confused, I am trapped within the depths of right and wrong.
The right and wrong that everyone has a different concept about.
No one ever defines the right meaning, not even myself.

I built a concept of passivity to curb this very competitive nature.
I attempted to cultivate a sense of thinking that nobody else would affect me in terms of their capability, talent, etc.
I am, what I am. Whether you're better or lousier than me, I don't care.

Over the years though, I see that it didn't really work.
Instead, it brought about a sense of counter-effect.
That I was wasting my time, and I had become none other than a worthless peasant lagging behind everyone else.

Day by day, I observe my own comparative nature.
As much as I do not like to use that word, and encourage people not to, it happens.
I compare my salary, I compare my free time, I compare my circle of friends, I compare anything, and everything.

I do not understand, I want to live my own life.
A life where I can confidently ignore any idiot telling me I'm being taken advantage of.
A life where I can smile and walk away whenever someone says "You can get better."
A life where I don't need to ask people "Am I doing this right?"

Yet, time and again, I sense this unhappiness driven from other people, the people around me.
It's not what I want, I want to be happy for them, and not unhappy for myself.

~KeongSterZ~ Stand on your own~

2008-07-05T17:21:00.002+08:00

[Man Phase 2]

Any person you've run into now.
You've entered a world, where variation occurs.

Variation:
In the world of genetics, to have evolution, you have to have variation.
Variation means differences to life, environment, living conditions, lifestyle, etc.
Everyone will be different in their own way, and in the study of genetics, everyone is their own unique self.

We Hold The Key:
To our own future, there will be people who are attuned to others when their general behaviorial patterns complement each other. It it similarity or differences.
We all will walk our own path, our different road, and our different resolves, but towards the end, our goals are all almost the same.

We Build, We Learn, We Gain, And We Clash:
What I believe in us humans.
First we build our foundation of life, we grow through our different lifestyles, and we learn from the people around us, to be like them, or to not be like them.
Then we learn throughout our entire lives, the concept of right and wrong. We build our own concepts, and we set principles to judge the very behaviors of everything. We set our own personality, and we work towards it.
We gain our experience through our personalities, what we work on towards.
What our experiences pulls us through, we adjust accordingly, and our mindset changes.
And finally. . The Clash.

Differences:
Our variations at a certain point of time will clash.
We will argue, we will fight, we will disagree.
All for the sake of what we have confidently held on to until now.
And at this point of time, it's where it all begins.

The Wars Of The Times:
It all begins, the wars that will not stop, anywhere, everywhere.
Until every last human on earth bites their tongue and maintains the same goals.
For this entire life, the only times I see humans unifying as a whole for the same common goal, is in the movies.
And it is in these movies, when a greater enemy shows up that threathens our very existence in this world, is when we band together to fight for our survival.
But that's getting out of the point.

The Real Wars Of The Times:
Arguments will almost always happen, in everywhere.
Lawyers exist. Psychologists exist, counsellors exist. Consultants exist.
Why? They're there to change your mindset, to convince you.
When two normal people have a disagreement, they clash.
Normally, both sides will stubbornly stick to their views, and disagree, resulting in another broken link between two people.
Incidentally, this is what happens everywhere, and is the cause of almost every humanly negativity in this world.
social/Political unrest, friendship arguments, family breakups, divorces, love, you name it.

~KeongSterZ~

2008-06-24T02:27:00.002+08:00

Man. [Phase 1]
First known to have evolved from apes, man was formed.
What was taught to us that man's ancestor was similar to any living thing on earth.
Including plants, birds, fish.

General Characteristics:
Personality, character. Where does these come from?
We were first known to inherit some of these from our fathers/mothers.
And after that, it comes down to the way we were brought up, what we were exposed to.
To simplify I call it Environmental Adaptation.
After that, the core value would be Influences And Exposure.
But they're the same, aren't they?
Not entirely.

Environmental Adaptation:
The kind of life you were exposed to.
Rich life, nothing to worry for.
A place where you worry about your life everyday.
Back stabbers, isolation, true friends etc.
These are just examples.

But What Of Them?:
What you looked these examples as.
Backstabbed.
"I'll never trust anyone ever again."
"Why must it be me?"
"There must be a reason for them to hate me, I need to find that out."
"They're better off not being my friends."
Just minor examples of what people would think in such situations.

And What Do You Do With Those Thoughts?:
You hate people, you push yourself to improve, you ignore, or anything else.
All these would relate to your apparent character/behavior as well as what the people around you tell you to do.

Influences:
Some things in life that you are very strong about, that you won't easily let people influence you.
Some things that you don't have a very strong will about, you have doubts about, and people will easily step over you.
Example of how I'd always let myself get criticized by people and quietly accept it, because I've always had an inferiority complex.
Example of how people can tell me I'm naive to always help people, but I stay that way because I believe in it, I believe in helping whenever we're still alive.

~KeongSterZ~ It's in our blood.~

2008-06-17T21:00:00.002+08:00

One Of The Many Meanings Of Life

Have You Figured Out By Now?
That everything in the stages of life that goes on and on.
Gets tougher and tougher?

Why Do We Sometimes Not Feel It?
We're humans, we adapt.
And when we adapt, we're getting used to the toughness.
And gradually, we'll be more and more tough.

Humans Are Evolutionary By Nature:
We endure and adapt to the situation, the circumstances, the atmosphere.
Sometimes it's tough, sometimes we create solutions out of it.
And we continue to try to make life easier.
People in the cold winter wonder how we can live in such a tropical climate.
And we wonder otherwise.
Conditions vary, but they're all equally tough.
It's all about getting used to.

And When It All Gets Too Tough:
We basically only get 2 choices.
Endure it or die.
Or the third, make it easier to endure.

~KeongSterZ~ The Basis Of Life~

2008-06-14T09:00:00.002+08:00

How Long Can You Push?
While dramas are just purely dramatic to their extremity,
Movies are just plain cartoonic with fiction included,
and games are nothing but a purpose for entertainment.
It has been a fact, that these things, has their advantages to it, if you can see it.

Masters Of The World:
Are people who push on with their ideals, their goals, their dreams, their aspirations.
There has been no doubt of countless people in this world, who are masters in their own line.
What they aim to be. It need not be a job, it need not be a profession.
It can be a dream. It can be a wish. So long as you work for it.

Hope, Is Always The First Component:
To the beginning of a quest.
You gotta hope, get that chance going, before you even begin.
The stronger ones, forge out their own hope.
Hopeless? We've heard this word long enough.
Well, maybe. But I'm confident in this. Time
Even if you die.
Some people carry their dreams on to other people, and let other people follow after their deaths.

And As We Go On:
Next up is always to work for it.
You can't fulfill anything by just dreaming and sleeping at home. Everyone knows that.
Even luck will push you up for only a short period of time for a short while.

And The Most Important Of All:
Is to keep the faith. Endure
Keep working. Keep trying.
The whole load of what ifs pop up right here.
Especially in the business world.
Another word you'll be surprised works here. Stubborn

Keeping The Faith:
Was never an easy job.
Considering the fluctuations an average person gets, it's easy to lose any form of hope when one is at his/her lowest.

The Most Effective Form Of Method:
I've observed so far, is friends.
Fluctuational periods occur at different times between friends.
The goals of these friends, is to work hand in hand with you.
In relation to moods, those up there will work to carry those down up with them.
And when this relational understanding becomes more and more frequent.
You'll pretty much realize, it's much easier to keep going.

What We Aim For: (Important)
For the past months, the people around me all have clear paths, what they want to do.
What's the big issue is when things go wrong.
Didn't exactly go the way you want it to go, or you hoped for, or didn't go well.
The first natural reaction, is to doubt yourself.
Worse still, is when things go wrong and the problem hits you straight into the personal level.
We're talking a direct strike on your personality, character, heart, etc.
It hits straight into your self-esteem, As well as Confidence.
When these 2 falls, it's very hard to climb back up.
And I don't have a direct solution, except to dig back on the past glories.
It's the only things you can think of that makes you proud.
And also what counterattacks the negativity that brings you down.

Listening To The People Around You:
Is a sign that you're low on the 2 values listed above.
What we need to understand, is everyone's experience of the same thing is different.
So is their perception.
Listening to the masses only showed one thing to me.
There is a Majority and a Minority
That's it.

Some People Create Miracles:
And they die proud.
They are masters.
Of what, you ask.
Masters of endurance, they have pushed on, and more importantly, succeeded.

And For My Fair Share:
Sometimes the smartest people in this line I know of, overlook some things.
The dumbest people in my life, do things that are so goddamn simple yet crucial.
The most immature ones.
And the most screwed up ones.
Each and every one of them has a value embedded into their personalities that are positive.
And when you merge them together.
You get, the me I'm trying for.
The very master I'm aiming for.
Master of people.

~KeongSterZ~

2008-06-14T01:46:00.001+08:00

Maybe It Ain't So Bad
Being A Loser Afterall.

2008-06-01T00:13:00.001+08:00

Unforseen, Unexpected Discoveries:
Hell will break loose on me, really soon.

~KeongSterZ~

2008-04-19T22:16:00.000+08:00

Not That It's Gone
It's just that it's been etched into being part of my life now.

2008-03-12T02:17:00.001+08:00

I'm back to that familiar scene, that familiar situation, that familiar feel.
Looks like I'm doomed to hold such a fate.

2008-03-10T14:19:00.001+08:00

You guys all saw it coming.
Just, you know.
Shut up about it alright?
Let me dream on. . . A little longer. . .

2008-03-07T23:49:00.001+08:00

One day, I was up at the top.
And one day, I fell rock bottom.
And one day, it was back to normal.

This, is the flow of --habit--. . . .
The very obvious phrase of "Taking things for granted"
Don't let it get to you.

2008-02-25T21:56:00.002+08:00

Topic Of The Day: It's been really long, hasn't it?

For people who nothing better to do and still come here hahaha.

http://wernormal.blogspot.com

That's where my gang is, do drop by =D

~KeongSterZ~

2007-11-15T10:41:00.000+08:00

Optimistic Approach To Kickoff The Day

~KeongSterZ~ PitStop, Anyone?~ =D
Oh uh, think i forgot to add this in. I'm closing this blog =D, the Loser's been there for far too long if you ask me. Will the necessary personnel plz remove me from their links n stuffs like that. Gam SiaZ~

2007-11-14T22:58:00.000+08:00

Situational Report, Analysis Complete, Submitting Results. . . . .

Current Obstacles Encountered --- Uncountable
Imminent Obstacles To Deal with within the next 3 days --- 4
Obstacles Dealt with --- 1
Status --- Still going on ~_~

I've been coaching for a near 6-7 years, and I still feel I don't like it. Maybe it's time to leave. I actually told my boss I may be leaving them soon. A path I chose to take, to move on and shape my own.
My next resolve is to test and put my best in everything that I may encounter, any job, any work. One that at least gives me an innate interest to do it. May be impossible, but I'll search for now.

Hitting SIM real soon, find a course, mainly psychology, since it's my only innate interest so far, until now. As much as I was advised again. I'll force a path out of it. I will not say "It's time to move on", wait for my time, I'll tell you "I've Moved on"
My next 4 obstacles Checklist:
1) Finish up the work that I have dragged for so long
2) Finish up the research that I was supposed to do
3) Plan my stupid 30 activities and just fuck it.
4) Finish my Saturday Hell Day

~KeongSterZ~ Just So You Know, I Want You To Be Happy~ I'm Trying Really Hard Ya Know~

2007-11-14T16:05:00.000+08:00

Topic Of The Day: A Small Period Of The World's Flow, A Whole Load Of Enlightenment.

2 hours at hospital with my grandfather, 30minutes wait at the bus stop, and a whole load of thoughts overflowing through the head. Before anything goes on, one point to note.

Too much of anything, is not good, too little of anything, isn't good either, so allow me to say, my thinking may be excessive, but it's not good not to think either.

2 hours sitting in there watching my grandfather, good thing was he's getting discharged. I observed the people around him, himself, myself, the nurses, going through their normal lives. Fell asleep for awhile as hell, too tired I'd guess. And plenty of thoughts flying about, especially regrets and fears.

30minutes standing at the bus stop, I felt god was telling me something. You don't normally wait for buses that long, but many things happened. Many life-learning lessons.
1: Took the usual 2 buses to changi hosp, the route home though, saw bus 5 which goes straight to my house. Bad thing was, I just missed that fucking bus, good thing? I now know there's a straight bus to my house.
2: Kept staring at the bus numbers, took so goddamn long to show up. Singular digits got my hopes high, but normally ended in failure.
3: On my thoughts, I kept thinking about stuffs, all kinds. Buses flowed around endlessly, even though mine never did show up until 30minutes later, but on a note, it just seemed closer to what I needed to know.
4: The final point that enlightened my head. The path I was looking at, was the wrong path all the while, bus 5 appeared from another side of the road.

Simple common movements in life, but the meaning in there, states a lot. Why I'm always the kind who can relate simple stuffs to such complication, I don't know, that may be my forte, and may also be the cause for my demise.
Those who see the real meaning behind those scenes, will understand what I'm talking about, those who don't, you're better off not knowing.

The time is nearing, my fears are overwhelming me, I'm being controlled, and now I'm being compelled to break out, to shape my own path, and not let others bring me down. My problems just keep arising daily, and what's preventing me from turning around, is my Dajie's Face, Shan's relentless courage-boosting ideals, and the girl of my life who just opened my life to a whole lot of new complications and experiences. There's no backing out for me now. And as much as I know I need to stand on my own, I could do with a few more additional supports, which I know I already do.

~KeongSterZ~ Do, Or Die~

2007-11-14T01:20:00.000+08:00

Topic Of The Day: Why Do I Always Need To Get Hit Hard Before I'll Wakeup?

Life, as they say, is always full of contradictions, that's why we have close friends. They're there to remind you. What I constantly preach to other people, I totally forget myself, and now that I'm "reminded" once again, it's only too clear what my next path would be.

What Dajie hit me hard on, was pretty similar to what little sis Shan hit on me 9 months back. I just needed that fucking knock time and again. No idea why's that anyway. But all I really did say to her when she hit me really hard was "Thanks Dajie, you have awakened me once again."

So what has always been around to keep my true abilities away from reality? As usual, my self-esteem, lack of confidence, stuffs like that. What's new, seriously. I've been so aware of it for 14 years, never once made the effort to change it. And I know what's the best for a person of my kind. Failure, suffering, pain.
Somehow I've been like that for as long as I can remember, but then again, this time round, I actually dragged myself to stand on my own feet with the help of Dajie And Shan, fighting the very war that I should have fought so long ago. The biggest obstacle that's obstructing every single goal of mine. MYSELF.
Lanjiao, it's been far too long. I actually realized I've been fighting wars everyday, all kinds too. Internally, Externally. You name it, I'm involved in it. Political wars, Road wars, Work wars, internal wars. End them one by one? Nah these wars don't end, there's no resolution to it, there's only giving up, or keep fighting. And now, it's only too clear what my resolution is.

Time to shape my own future. Decide my own future with my own 2 hands, but where do I start sia. For me to find out eh. HERE I COME YOU GODDAMN WORLD!~

~KeongSterZ~ Let's End This, I'm Fucking Tired Of You, And The Loser You All Once Knew, Shall Stand Victorious Against The Very Obstacle That Stood Against Him For So Many Years To Come~

2007-11-13T01:50:00.000+08:00

Topic Of The Day: Just Feel Like Popping Out Random Sentences.

I'm what I'm needed to be at any point in time. I can be your big brother, I can be the leader, I can be anything, but what I really want to be, is the childish/vulgur me. Because, that is truly me.

Some Extra Random Shit - Baby~ Ai Qing Bu Neng Zuo Bi Jiao

~KeongSterZ~ Always Needs A Kick To Get The Engine On Full Blast~

2007-11-12T12:54:00.000+08:00

Topic Of The Day: Making a Point To Write Down What's On My Mind immediately before I forget.

Just so reminds me when it first started, it was a self-reminder blog when it was first created while I was at SIP in school. Keong's research centre haha, good old days back with JH n gang. Now it's become so popular people are reading so often. Well so here goes more of my self-reminder logics.

Avoiding the situation never did solve anything, I could so remember the last time I didn't want to drive into town at all due to traffic jams, ERPs and screwed up parkings. Now that I've actually begun going in there more often, it just seems it's actually much better to know the roads around, it's the experience that counts. Maybe it's time for me to talk about facing the situation at hand and deal with it. Failure will only make me stronger, like what Kanye West's Stronger says - What doesn't kill you, will only make you stronger.

I also understand the dangers of this blog now that many people are reading, so I'll use this point for a declaration of warning. Some of you out there, are reporting unnecessary information to unnecessary people out there. Let me tell you this. It's not my business if you want to say, it is a fact and I will not deny that. But let me quote the point "unnecessary". You get my friends into unnecessary trouble, I'll find you guys out. You know who you are, and if things get messy, you'll be the first ones I find. Think again before you say anything of importance.
Such rubbish, you might even be reading this yourself. So I'll just tell you straight, just hate me, ALONE. Don't fuck around with my friends. I'm suiting you as far as I'm concerned. You're politically smart, I'm physically uncontrollable, we'll see how far this gets.

Time for me to hit the road, I've got a lot of soul searching to do. And I'm dealing with it one by one.

~KeongSterZ~ Such Irony, Such Contradiction~

2007-11-11T20:28:00.000+08:00

=D Funny, Touching, entertaining, all in one. =D
~KeongSterZ~ WEI SHE MO YI DING YAO SHUO CHU LAI!!!~

2007-11-11T17:39:00.000+08:00

Topic Of The Day: Something you wanna say, you better say it out, somehow you'll forget. Or maybe it's just me hahaha.

Well so the team hit Sentosa for the entire day, honestly, my impression of them has gone up much more. I'm finally seeing things in another way. They have matured, or maturing, or yeah, getting better. I'm starting to be able to see myself stepping out of their "Can't take care of themselves" affairs and get into my personal vendettas with people like Andy. Damn still can't believe he wasted me, goddamn. I'm getting old I tell ya.

So we hit the beach for a very long period of time until 3pm++, lunched down at Subway and hit the Luge, fun shit I tell you, the crowd is really insane though. Last I went with Shan nobody sia.
We went on to full time hotel slacking at siloso beach resort, I wanted to sleep to prepare myself for Liquor night, haha I think they were too noisy, enjoying themselves too much. So I just went ahead with the gaming anyways. Test alot of mixtures here and there, and whoa whoa whoa, Midori rocks man. I didn't use much cuz it was Fiona's present, but I had 2 mixtures which were very nice. Now all I need is to find more suppliers to keep me stocked and maybe some extra investors to open up my little bar, sounds cool eh.

Shooters and ladders as usual, truth or dare wasn't so interesting cause we couldn't make much noise, so Keong just ended up making Glenn down a 1.5L bottle of water in 2minutes and Sim made Ele down 2 cans of coffee, and it looks like she won't be forgetting that anytime soon =.=, hell yeah, I made Glenn puke the shit out. That's spontaneous for you. And soon enough you guys will see the true essence of the game.
Had to get up with a fricking fever lah, tell you it's damn fucking cold. Bloody hotels all have the same bloody problems. They never have the "Right" temperature. It's always too hot or too cold, kanina. I really felt like I was gonna die in there. So fucking cold I wanna get out, but too stoned to move. Wanna go get jacket, car super faraway, like I'll just die if I walked there. At my wits end or something like that. Stupid aircon.

Well on to a lil external stuffs. You guys have known that I'm always out there reading on people, humans, stuffs like that, and I was once recommended this blog from a person. This particular person is someone I don't know, and his entries basically depict about psychology in a more profound sense of reality. His entries aims towards the work society and shows in great detail about impressions.
Well, this particular person, being his usual self, talked about being in a situation where no other person could imagine. It's not the usual pain that usual people feel. It's about knowing the future and not being able to do anything about it, or what he described as "Writing the final chapter of your life."
This is a story about his dad, living life with a tumour the size of a baseball in his body. What else is there to be said when all you're doing is sitting right over there waiting for your "story" to end? Such similarity to my grandfather, such sadness, such pain he has to endure daily. What is mine to him? I'm still young, I'm still stuck with the unpredictability of knowing how thick or thin my storybook might be, it may end up being thicker, more interesting, more painful, but towards the end, it's still the same. I don't know when it ends.
The line of his life: Dad moves towards the end of his book. The final chapter teaches me that i need to live each day of my life and only then will my book bring meaning in the end.

~KeongSterZ~ Still wanna be a pessimist?~

2007-11-10T00:55:00.000+08:00

Topic of the day: Retarded day, seriously. Haha

I hear so much time and again, hear until the same things come and go. And it all basically comes down to one thing. Fine la I'm stupid lah, wanna be simple for once cannot ar. Everything also wanna be so theoretical, ok lor! I shall be longwinded and shut u all up for good.

Special thanks to Maria ah. Feel ache for me ah, dun waste your time lah, come back drink with me I kill you first, u wanna feel ache for me u better be able to drink more than me first! I look forward to it man. Because we are that close, I'll throw out my whole arsenal for you =D. (Which will only be 2 bottles after jon/tim/fiona's birthday), but yeah you'll die anyhow, considering it's walker and bacardi.
Special thanks to christie too, my afternoon would have been hell without you lah. I can't believe you actually activated my innate interest in life. Haha you got me so engrossed in research sia. You faster come back also, u will also die along with Maria h0h0h0.
I actually think I still owe Pat a Killing, but can't do so now that Pearylne around, rachel too, damn. She's a tough one. Haha puke already still say not enough, one day must really make her hangover at her limit. Just hope her parents don't kill me since they already hate me so, and hope she don't get liver cancer too, this girl is strong sia.

Today I learnt something new again, wrong usage of energy =.=, it's no wonder I'm still shagged out at Muay thai and tennis, Utilizing the wrong energies. Apparently it seems Chua has so much energy cause there was hatred in him. There wasn't any in me, all that was there for me was the stupid feeling that just wouldn't stop anyways, and that doesn't increase your power the least bit =.=
So tomorrow's the big day, when I know everything's a little messy. I forsee many bad things that will happen tomorrow. Oh nothing of my business, about the team coordination and spirit. These people just don't know what "Give n take" is all about, they just do what they want, and with these kind of people around, doing events like this will just fuck things up like shit.
Maybe I should have a bit of faith in them, we'll see tomorrow, I'm so well prepared though hahaha. And the 3 birthday people, hope you die tomorrow. U dun die i dun go home =).

~KeongSterZ~ My Life Depended On You Guys, I'm not that great, I just happened to enter your lives, and I'm just older, that's it~

2007-11-09T00:56:00.001+08:00

Last topic of the day: Well, just to end things in a happy note. Why do so many people read this blog =.=

Too much bad stuffs, forgot bout the good ones. Yeah the RO dudes, met up with them in the afternoon for carls Jr. Whoa no shit, high turnout. 13 Dudes.
The 3 ancients: Roy, Weird Me
The Acro Gang: Tesshu(Fox's boifren) , Fox(Girl guild leader haha), Artemis diana(Sheryl), Rimu, Roti, Cipher, Warhades, Force and dunnowho.

Mainly really just talking cock, weird, roy and me, knowing each other for a full 7 years of ROing together, have already gotten used to insulting each other at every chance. The 3 of us were like, uhhh, the spotlight. Made everyone laugh like nuts and sorts.
For a very long time, I've not seen this side of myself, the ultimate vulgur/uncouth/ahbeng side of mine that just came out when Roy and weird just went on with their unlimited insults. My shouts were practically echoed throughout marina square, and vulgaraties can be heard at every single sentence. Seriously, that was so un-gentlemanly, but I fucking missed that side of me. So back to secondary school/poly days.

Bad news came in the evening, which u all probably already knew, I don't think I can show you the entire 3 hour process that got me over it, but yeah. Basically I hardened my pride, cried to my mum/dad, whoa that shit worked wonders. Then went out find jon n gang since I figured I probably can't be alone today. Even tell mum don't wanna work tomorrow cuz don't think will sleep early. She's cool man.
So yeah, recovered fast, back to work again. Met up with Kenneth to discuss work schedule, My malaysia trip's been confirmed, and yeah, bye to singapore for 3 days.

My heart's a lil better now, 60% dealt with, remaining 40% actually on a spinning wheel, just comes whenever it wants to, but yeah, much better anyway. Thanks ar, you actually show so much concern. Aiya want friend then friend lah, I also dunno why that day go pop out that stupid sentence to you.
Just so you know, you don't need to fear losing me as a friend. Towards the end, I always do what a friend does. Go ask everyone else =).

~KeongSterZ~ Keong's body works this way, Mind does the thinking, but heart does the deciding. So basically, heart overrides mind hahaha~

2007-11-08T20:20:00.000+08:00

Topic Of The Day: Well, It's over, not like it actually began.

So, I think we just barely went for a week. We saw each other every single day in that week, and now yeah, it's gone. Well, I don't know. The countless smses exchanged, with the hopefulness of a chance for a relationship and stuffs like that, all seemed to just be leading me on, towards the end, I had to say, she was a girl, who just had too much in common with me.
Countless number of times I said I wouldn't give up, but what can I do? If I persisted I'd seriously become like a stalker, no point tormenting someone just for the sake of love if you ask me. So much restrictions, so much to think about. I was warned a countless number of times, and I guess I made the wrong move in the end. May I let this be a major lesson learnt, and yeah well, I guess I wasn't much after all.

Even now I'll say this, you've become my life, you never did deny me, you never did push me away, now you say you're leading me on, but I'll tell you this. I believe it's a lie, but I will not doubt you, because if you chose to say that, you definitely have your reasons. If fate shall call for the chance for me to go after you again once more, without a doubt I will, without a doubt I will carry on my vow, and without a doubt, I will prove to you, that Keong is never one to lie. And should the chance never come by, my heart will bear memories permanent to you.

Once again, I was warned, but I chose the path. Now that I feel the pain, I feel the tears, it was what I asked for, and should have expected. I shall not bitch about it.
The days we had, were short, and I had greatly failed in making you happy, but nonetheless, it was memorable.
There's a possibility you may have chosen this because of the people around me, and if you have, it was my own choice and I have not regretted it, we talked about it 2-3 times, and it still hasn't changed.
Lastly, to those people out there, so you think I have a good chance eh? I told you you guys need to look deeper. Too bad I didn't have the chance to deal with the obstacles anymore.

So allow me to say this for the last time. . . . I love you. . . Because, I really do.

~KeongSterZ~ What's said has been said, time for my 3 month-recuperative session~

2007-11-08T11:17:00.000+08:00

Topic Of The Day: For Once, I Really Wished I Was Brainless

God kinda helped me a little today. Thanks for the morning rain. Dropped into bed approximately 5-7am. 8am Lesson rained out so caught more sleep till 9:30 where I had to coach this dude from my condo at 10. Pretty nice lady and son, 3 lessons a week during holidays. Wah =.= Hyperactive.

Oh well, meeting up the RO dudes later on at city hall, then on with my own coaching and slackoff.
I feel weak, damn weak. I don't wanna lose you, and I don't know how you're feeling on your side. One minute you're happy, next minute you're not. I can't figure out if I'm doing right or wrong anymore. And I really wished I was brainless, so I'd only think with my heart, so I can just love you without any doubt.
I'm not looking for an answer, I'm not pushing for anything, I just felt pushed, that's why I pushed for one. Don't kill me off way too soon please, unless you find me a nuisance, den I'll back off.

~KeongSterZ~ Life, never think too much about it~

2007-11-07T00:11:00.000+08:00

Topic Of The Day: Punched In The Face Twice And Bruises on the left leg. How cool is that? Wait till you find out how I got it.

Today was another day Of Muay Thai with a few special exceptions. I got walloped, pretty back. Looks like I asked for it. Haha sparring was as per normal, except for some reason, I was much weaker, on the arms.
Well he flew a few punches, of the same normal power, just that, somehow my blocks didn't block him off. I ended up punching my own face twice from his force, awww jeez, it hurts. My own punches made my lips bleed.
Best of all, there was one part where I was supposed to kick the padding, but I missed, I ended up kicking Iskandar's leg, guess what!? It felt like a fucking pillar, and I'm bruised, it's like my Toe-bone BROKE!~ WTF. Muay thai people are THAT stiff? And I've been going for like 20 lessons so far, not to say that I'm damn weak or what, but I should at least have developed some additional Strength for a certain ability.

Oh did I mention I'm getting much better with kids now? They're damn cute sia, seriously. I just wonder why it's always such that girls get along better with guy teachers and the guys just get along better with girl teachers. But I don't teach them well, Keong's character and kids just don't really seem to blend in with each other.
It seemed I also have a lesser tendency of random vulgarities coming, which is a good thing. I'm becoming NICE! WOW.

Work has begun to do a lot of changes to my life. I'm really changing at a pace far too slow. But yeah well, I'm changing, what can I say. I just realized that I'm doing programs, programs that don't last forever. So my schedule will just keep changing again and again and again. Sianz =.=
Oh well, whatever will come will come. . . .

~KeongSterZ~ S I A N Z Z Z Z Z Z Z~~~~~~~

2007-11-05T22:23:00.000+08:00

Topic Of The Day: The Run From Reality.

Things have not been going well on all sides, my mind is still screwed on the issues that might not even be an issue. I've been constantly told to fuck care and ignore, and it's only too obvious I'm too paranoid about it.

I've been attracting attention, on many angles. Almost too much, I feel the pressure. Being human, I would love a little attention on me once in awhile, but yeah, maybe this my first time I've felt too much. Everyone's concerned over me, high probably cause I'm blowing up my mind with excessive unnecessary information.
Of course, all of you care about me, all of you think the same, these 2 reasons are good enough to tell me that I am in my own world of panic. My friends don't give a shit, why should I? They'll be there for me in the end if I should die at the very worst.

Think too much huh, now that really makes sense. So I suppose, even though it's just not me, I'll hide around my friendship circle, run away from my problems that may not even be problems from the beginning, and just lie low, for a long period of time. I hope you guys don't mind. It's better than me constantly going crazy about what he'll do to me and the guys around me.

Back to a little bit of personal updates. My work world. A bunch of amazing people. It's really surprising, even for me that practices muay thai and I now pack alot more muscle than I usually do, I'm probably one of the weakest at my stages. Meet 2 ladies that just recently entered my friendship circle, Melisa, a rock climber working in a fitness gym with a nice innocent smile that just hides all the strength within her. And Genelle, a gym instructor with a very well toned body, nice figure, and, sadly, can do double pull-ups than I do. Talk about deceiving looks. I'm gonna just stick to my iskandar routine of 300 pushups a day for the next few years and see how far I go.
So tomorrow's the next one, just lemmie go kick/punch some bag and yeah, hope i get whacked more. I need the stress-relieving, and it seems hyperactive people do not lose stress by attacking, they need to be attacked. Let me get this over and done with once and for all, will ya? And I'll never mention of the stupid things that always brings me down again.

~KeongSterZ~ I'm still growing, wow, at such an old age~

2007-11-04T07:23:00.000+08:00

Topic Of The Day: Lesser Words, Bigger Meaning.

I went through another full series of self-thought sessions and brought myself to realize that I have continuously brought myself to doing actions beyond my ability, and as such, I have placed jeopardy in other parts of my life, namely, work, and health.

Yeah well I had to deal with the open house, and it went through pretty much ok along with the rest. Sometimes I sit around and watch the way they work, doing so much for the company, I questioned my dedication to them. Even if they didn't know, I knew what I have been doing the past few weeks, so that was something that I've got to balance out.

To Ele: I don't know why I'm doing this, but well, I just wanna love you openly, no more hiding around acting blur. You're not mine yet, and the future is uncertain. What is certain is I'm trying to win your heart too quickly, and now I actually will have to withdraw for a fair bit. You know, thanks for actually telling people that I'm after you, because through that, I found out, that's what I really actually wanted. I believe you knew what was in it for you when you allowed me to chase you, so I will respect that, and I will openly do it.
Seriously, thank you. You made me feel like I was being taken care of, FOR ONCE, in the bloody team. I've spent too much effort dealing with them time and again, I felt like a kid when you hugged me, and it felt good. For that 1 minute, I wasn't 22 years old. And as usual, I couldn't bring myself to cry. Shag.

To Jon: We've moved on to the next level of friendship, you've seen my way of thinking, and I've seen your way of thinking. Know that what we know will be between us forever, and that I'll always treasure you as a true friend.

Well, all I can say now is, I'm going to balance my life out. Work and love. If whichever part of my life fails, all I can say is, I have failed. I will have to move on some more, so yeah. Take the shit, what will come, will come.

~KeongSterZ~ My life, not my rules anymore. That's about intertwined fates.~

2007-11-02T11:10:00.001+08:00

Topic Of The Day: What Keong Is Made Up Of.

If you put into play of the feedback I've been receiving up till now, most of the time it's the "Keong you think too much" and the "Keong you try too hard to please everybody". So if that's what I'm really made of, is it a bad thing at all? What's wrong with making everybody happy?

I actually see it now, I could fight for my own happiness once in awhile, put some effort to make an improvement in my life, and not just stagnantize myself for this entire age. It's no wonder at age 17 I don't know what Roti John is and know nuts about the world. I never did bother to find out, and all I did was just listen to people, because it makes them happy anyway.
So now I finally saw through you, that you can never make everyone happy. There's such a thing called jealousy, that when one side is happy, the other side will not be. Such is the balance of the world, and there's no way I can do anything about it unless a force greater than the 2 oppositions shows up and forces the two to unite. I mentioned this somewhere before.

And I also finally saw through you, that I've been dormantly sitting around doing nothing, only moving when people need me to. I've done much for everyone around me, with some who can actually get tired of my kindness. It's my turn to stand now. I shall work on being selfish for once, I shall fight for you, and I will win your heart. Because that's all I could ever ask for, right here, right now. And as much as I cannot promise you about the future, I can definitely tell you that this feeling will not diminish anytime soon.

Thank you for your patience in me, for time is really what I need to sort things out.
Thank you for giving me the chance, for you have given me a new reason to live for.
Thank you for accepting me for who I am, because I couldn't ask for more, I will be myself and only myself, because I want you to accept me for who I am, not a facade of myself.
I already see many obstacles in my way, for some reason, for once, I shall simplify things. WHO GIVES A SHIT. How bad can it get.
There will be much for me to see in you, and much for you to see in me. I certainly hope that my long-psychological-wannabe research will finally prove some use here for my own personal issue. I will live to accept you, and I hope you can do the same.

~KeongSterZ~ Am I Finally Seeing Colours?~

2007-11-01T18:29:00.000+08:00

Topic Of The Day: Sai Kang Warrior does it all.

Allow Keong to share with you his next experience of his life. This is about a man who had been doing weird off jobs for a not very often period of time, but yet, he has a certain level of trying out new things experience. So today, he hit his next "Brand New" Task of the century. This story is called "DISTRIBUTING FLYERS"

Well okay, it's simple really, go to houses, find their letter boxes, throw flyers in, move on. Goddamn who would have expected the letter boxes to be so stiff. Some like can break my fingers when I attempt to push them open with 2 fingers. How do these letter delivery dudes on bikes survive the damn letterbox sia?
So today I've seen all kinds of houses, houses with NO letterboxes, houses with letterboxes that's rusted to the point there's termites on it, houses with letterboxes so high I have to reach up high to put it in (How sia if got small boy put, die la take chair), and there you have it, letterboxes that u need to FIND, hidden beneath some mini "forest" of greenery. Goddamn lah.
Not bad though, I saw myself moving faster after the first hour, about 1hr half walking around the whole district sia, I was really wishing I had a bicycle and I knew how to cycle that damn thing. SHAN~ TEACH ME~(Not like she reads anyway)

Now the unimportant information. This stupid district, is where many many rich people live in. These rich people, fucking number of cars are like number of JEANS I have in my closet. Kanna lanjiao 2-6 PER House. Wahhh Dui dui dui. Mercedes lah, Porsche la, Lambo also saw. KANINA!
Alot of interesting things too, fucking houses, look like u step in only got sensor they'll shoot arrow at u. Got one, wah car plate collector, whole wall flooded with car plates. Cool shit, I think he illegal speeder always speed, then change car plate speed again.
And I think they have an affinity with white dogs. All of them were white, I think all golden retrievers, these dogs don't bark sia. Adorable shit, but nevertheless, expensive. Jon go buy one please. (Reminds me when Jon made the golden retriever at crab shack go crazy, haha that was damn cute, typical jon)
One of the houses, they had a friggin small swimming pool. I dunno why they built that in the first place. The length of the pool is not even my height, so all i can probably do is jump in and soak myself in there. Gay lah, go get those balloon type also shuang.
So that's the end of Keong's experience with endless walking and countless eyes staring at him, I think my reputation just went from zero to negative ten.

Some standard updates.
Keong has been confirmed to be leaving singapore for the first time in 8 years (since 14) to Malaysia to go and be Kenneth low's slave for the next 3 days between 21st to 23rd November. His job scope includes distracting traffic police so they come after him instead of kenneth, to attempt to convince them that Keong is in a hurry as well, to spend time in jail assuming that he failed, and to just get back to Singapore after that. Simple job right?
Keong has officially self declared that his Muay thai lessons have brought him to the next level, and he now can pack some resistance against insane bullies or chao ah bengs. It's only an increment of surviving for an extra 5 seconds or something, but yeah. It'll increase anyway. Special thanks to Iskandar for beating the living shit out of him today as well, and he's looking forward to more.
Well finally, some of you probably wouldn't believe this anyway. But yeah, I'M IN LOVE!~~ As to uhhhh, yeahhh, uhhhhh. Whether I can actually officially call her my girlfriend, I have to go through a series of insane tests that basically drives me nuts already, and of course, go through the ordeal of suffering~ WHO CARES. BRING IT ON~~~ (Randomly plays the mungen song, Du Zi Chang Qing Ge, they have a line that says "Xiang Ai Jiu Bie Pa Shang Tong" Aka If You wanna love, cannot be afraid of pain.)

~KeongSterZ~ Moving On To The Next Level~

2007-10-31T22:40:00.000+08:00

Topic of the day: I lost the fricking TC4 again, Century Square got 4health points somemore. FUCKING OLD LAH KEONG.

Bullshit, lose again and again. Haiya, fucking sucks. Tomorrow again I guess, somewhere around town area. I'm gonna just camp there the whole fricking day tomorrow. What bad organization I have. Sheesh.

Well Keong and his massive Think and think and think and think and think again. Honestly, when I thought about it, I felt damn honored in a way, to the point that you're spending so much effort on getting me out. Maybe we DO need to talk, but that's if you want it. As far as my thinking goes. It's as far as that gets.
My closest groups, one was you. I still don't believe how deep this went. For 5 years, you taught me many things, I tried to help you as much as I can, listened to you, brought you around in the car and stuffs. When it comes to my personal self-esteem, it'll always remain rock bottom, so being myself, I always thought worst cases where you'll just find me useless the minute you got your license. Things not only went to that it seems, now it's gone to something worse, and honestly, I can't imagine why. Not even now. But yes, you've made your point. Maybe I'll talk it out with you one last time, but I'll do what you clearly want from me. I'll leave.
As to the others, well, I had to clearly tell myself that I've taken them for granted for far too long, and by now it's pretty much too late to turn back, and for my 3rd, you're driving me away from them. I did think about it. Don't want a war with you. Do what you want, I'll not do anything. They'll decide themselves.

~KeongSterZ~ Maybe You are doing it for my own good, but who are you to decide?~

2007-10-31T16:11:00.000+08:00

Topic Of The Day: Such Restlessness. . . .

I think I remembered why I helped my mum do some work. Today was the first day in 2 weeks I had such a long relaxing period. Finished another day of accountancy shit that never seems to end (Of course, that bitch just topped up the "work stack") and next in line for me to do again is Monday, sheesh. 4 days to escape, but yeah. I slept for 3 hours and waking up now restless, next coaching is in another 2 hours, and energy's flowing out of my blood. I shall go to century square and conquer the bloody time crisis 4 machine =.=
What good timing and preparation to mambo, hell, no one's going. Good thing I managed to pull some strings and get friday off, finally some off day to smell and can randomly go do stupid things and stop thinking about work for a change.
Mum's company paycheck has arrived too, about 200 or so, haha. Not enough to cover what I spent the past month, well it's crappy, but I'm surviving.

~KeongSterZ~ Time to hit the bus~

2007-10-31T00:34:00.000+08:00

Topic of the Day: If I don't end this, I have to runaway, right?

Stupid rain has persisted yet again. Today was another sad day in my life. Accounting seriously sucks, there's no way I can motivate myself to do that for 4 hours straight. At least I managed to catch an hour sleep.
I think Jon screwed the guards in my condo pretty badly, they're on bad terms now, and both sides are complaining to me on both sides =.= Who am I shitting, have I got not enough problems yet?

My mind went into deep thinking again for a long period of time, my problems really hit the peak this time round, and honestly, I think I've seriously failed in my friendship circle. My hopes are already dashed, and all I know is, I still have to move on. Work is waiting for me, all that's in my head is stupid feelings and retarded emotions.

You know, I'm beginning to think maybe you're reading all I'm saying here. But somehow, I shouldn't be afraid of you at all, and I'm not, but I'm really fearing your ruthlessness. God knows what you'll do to the people around me. My way is to fight alone. Your way is to bring ruin to me and those around me. Goddamn shit. So I'll play by your rules. I don't know how we ended up this way, but now that it's like this, there's nothing else I can say.

~KeongSterZ~ You fight, you win, or you lose. That's all there is to it~

2007-10-30T00:02:00.000+08:00

Topic Of The Day: Show Time's Over

Constantly failing to complete my time crisis 4 has really got my morale super low, I probably just suck now, sheesh. I'm so going to hit the arcades back really soon sometime. I shall re-conker the goddamn machine.

Rain was hell today, the worst kind for coaches, constantly raining big drops of slow rain, really screwed the entire day. I hit the bishan arcades first, then the great world arcade, and after that, the parkway arcade. And I died in all 3 places anyway, FUCK. As usual, Shan was great company, and what she told me was really similar. I have to end the show, even if I don't, I should at least step out of it.
Dinner period was spent with TP peepz as usual, instead of tennis, we hit parkway. Wen/Assy/Me/Tim/Ele/Pat/Samantha(pat's friend), and well, I spent hell in the arcade again, nothing new, I love the arcade. It's a place to let loose without getting drunk.
Fiona was really crappy, haha. Can't believe Jon, me and her made so much noise in the damn clinic, and did I mention she's crazy? I'm goddamn so afraid of her and her voice, someone get me ear plugs please? Did I mention she fucking spent $161 BUCKS at the clinic? And refuses to let Jon or me take a pic of her. We friends how long liao you like that, NEVERMIND!!!

Well, last thing to note, I'll release the pain of those I know in pain soon enough. My mind cannot read, my eyes cannot tell, but your eyes reveals your feelings. If you don't want to say anything, I'll just help you out, because you were there for me when I needed someone the most. And that's something I'll never forget. Cheers, you'll get over it.

~KeongSterZ~ Constantly remind yourself that there are people out there suffering more than you~

2007-10-28T19:24:00.000+08:00

Topic Of The Day: What A Turn Off~ Stupid Weather.

I was awoken to more self-understanding over this morning's sleep. My student hurt herself earlier this morning, fell down and wanted to cry and stuffs. I ended up carrying her off just to prevent her from crying. From then I recalled about boss's Ideals, and motto. His was to build a long lasting relationship with students that towards the end, we'll be a part of his life. I suppose in my case, I'm already in some stage where we're like family =.=, I go to their house, they come over to mine. Oh wells, haha. How un-coach-like. Well, it's an ideal worth reaching out for. So that's probably a new goal in my life.

The sleep was bad, my inability to balance between work and play has got my sleep quantity screwed, the past 6 days of 3-5hour sleeps and past 3 weeks of hell that hasn't ended at all has got my headache popping in frequently. I had to roll off bed and even lay on the floor for the next 15minutes before I get out. Boy I wished I was dead with that kind of stiffness in my entire body at that point of time.
To think I was falling sick, when I went for meeting, it was canceled cause everyone else fell sick anyway, I guess I'm the last man standing currently.

I kind of read many surveys about how questionnaires depict a person's character/personality and I actually kind of invented one myself. It's not invent though, since I figured it'd be nothing new, but so far I experimented on 2 people, Cheryl and Jon. Haha
So the rules are pretty simple, think fast, say it fast. Do not think twice, and the minute you think of it, say it. The key is to be totally honest and truthful to what your mind tells you.
It's easy: Think of Keong, What are the first 4 words/phrases that come to your mind? You only use sentences if you don't know the word to use for it.
Of course, no right or wrong answers, there are good and bad ones, and all are welcome, and this is what I built from the 2 of them.
Cheryl: One of either a positive-minded personality or optimistic character, she treats her friends with high regard.
Jon: Free and easy going nature, his answers were more on 2 positive 2 negative, I wouldn't call it a balance, but I'd call it a quick impression. Long seen, he couldn't be anymore right, and as expected, his directness stays in him.

Cheryl has brought me to realization that I broke 3 of my very own principles of life, and I see the need to get back on track. At this point of time, she has brought me to see that a more efficient way to realize your own true self, is to find that out through other people and reflect their actions towards your own. It's time to pull myself back on track.

~KeongSterZ~ Estimated another 5 weeks of suffering, boooringgg~

2007-10-28T01:57:00.000+08:00

Topic Of The Day: Life Will Never Be Straightforward, Even Though If So, Things will be MUCH easier.

They always say, some things are always left unsaid. So darn true all the darn time, but sometimes when I think about it, I'm just being compelled not to say some things in some way. Situations where things that appeared at a certain point of time that just doesn't appeal to the ideal environment of sorts.
Nevertheless, I will say this once again. This is my Battle, my war. I will fight things my way, and unless you have a good argument, no one's going to change that concept anytime soon. My family gave me these genes, I'll stand by those genes. I will fight alone, and my allies will only come into play, after I am dead.

Fiona talked to me about money in the car, how much petrol was expended on the team for the past years. All I could really answer was "Dad and Mum also like that, I also like that, we're just trained to give." She did talk about being taken for granted and stuff. Well, we're pretty happy to be taken for granted, it's quite simple.
Money makes the world go round, not entirely, but still quite true, ya? So is it safe to say that only when you spend money on people, you slowly discover the people who take you for granted? And to us, isn't that money well spent? Let time fly, you'll find your allies, your truthful defenders of your ideals, and the future you'll rely on.

As a whole, I'm a mess. My savings don't come even at this point of time. My mind's in a muddlehead, and I can't fully focus on work. My money's coming in slowly and steadily, things looks to be stabilizing, but not my lifestyle. I cannot bring myself to sleep early everyday, I cannot bring myself to spend a whole full day working, I cannot bring myself to have no free days to DRINK! Haha. Crappy shitz.

Today was, simply amazing. Rained out 8-12 coaching, so went to Ah chuan string abit, ran into Sjai(I shall not get into that), went to KTV with the guys at K-sterz (recomended by glenn) and was tested to be pretty good, but left early cause had to do 2:30-4pm. Near claire's house sia.
Then finally did something which boss actually Praised sia, goodness. He was happy, FOR ONCE. I dunno why but I think when you get someone who keeps fucking you up, and he praises you, I think you better feel damn fucking good about it. And I SURE DID.

After that was a lil Fish n co with them, and then they came to my hse slack while WOEing, as usual they pissed my bro off and stuffs, aiya. Not like I had friends who come often anyway. And some trip in the ice-cream shop called haagen Daaz, Obviously spell wrong but dun care.

Somethings are best not to be said, but in case I forget, it's just gonna be vague. I seem to think of certain situations where people don't realize some things, and don't know why somehow or rather, I take particularly heavy note of such things. It's not something to be particularly concerned about, but yeah, I take particularly heavy concern anyway (KEONG U THINK TOO MUCH!!). And it's quite disappointing to think of such things too, cause towards the end, you know the harsh truth. Or rather, only I do =p.

~KeongSterZ~ Social circle more important, or work relationshipS?~

2007-10-27T00:22:00.000+08:00

Topic Of The Day: You Are Who You Are, People Like You For What You Are. Nuff Said.

I awoke in a situation that I've not encountered for a long time. My hands and legs were aching, and first thought was "Stupid Iskandar". I think his muay thai seriously killed us this time.
Today was one hell of a day under the sun, well nonetheless, it was fun, and loads of money spent.

November's up close, a whole lot of new events coming up, including my own goal of keeping track of finances. I'm honestly not earning much, I guess that's the last thing on my head anyway. I can't bring myself to throw my whole life at work somehow, good thing is I know I'm at least working my ass off when I'm supposed to.
Tomorrow is such a damn long day, Can't believe it. 8-6pm, god. Saturday ~_~, i've been constantly whining to the people around me, but I still can't get over it hahaha. Tomorrow's war day too, it's me killing them, or i'll get killed. WARTIME!!!

What I'm amazed at today was the arcade session, just me and Cheryl, the rest of em went for a movie. Well, she was retarded haha. Rarely has anyone made me laugh so hard I get stomach cramps, oh well. She did =D. I'm even laughing at myself thinking about it. We had a nice lil hearty chat over at Macs after that. After so many times of hanging around with her, it was the first time I understood what Asriel meant when he said "Hanging around with cheryl is so cute, she's so funny." Oh yeah rock on =D.

RO's still lagging, gay fags, stupid host downloading porn again, so yeah, all of us sitting at town doing random shit, here's some nice lil screenies.

Guild photo assuming we were actually quitting server, looks like a No anyway

From top left to btm right:
1)Roy aka Idiot ---- We play together damn long liao, 7 years liao, still as retarded
2)Tesshu -- Through ACRO, knowledge machine, we used to fight, not anymore =D
3)Warhades -- Craziest hardcore fellar I know of. . Honest, 12hrs RO a day?
4)Cipher -- They don't call him Guailan Kia 4 nothing
5)Hoho --- Quiet dude, well, he's pro, that's all we need
6)Bottom row: Weirdiee --- 7 years with me too. We're the legends of RO
7) Me --- I know, girl sprite, oh yeah, I do it all the time anyway, too habitual.
8) Shadowfox -- My boss in this server, she may be a female, but super vulgur =D
9) Arty Diana -- Haha nice person I know, night owl like me, and she's a girl =D.

A couple of us damn bored at this point of time, all drawing hearts and stuffs.

~KeongSterZ~ Saturday night, go out with Fiona, or WOE? Hmmmm~

2007-10-26T00:45:00.000+08:00

Topic Of The Day: I Lost My Man's Pride, Back to Pussy Man.

Meet Melissa, the one I said I ran into the other day through a discussion and found her cute, I just realized her age was 20, and looking her qualifications, 95% chance of being taken, haha. Ok la, i no plans to try. Anyway, she destroyed my pride ~_~.
I do 4 pulls she do 6, OMFG. I SUCK I SUCK I SUCK!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! It was then I found out she was a rock climber, oh man.
Anyway, today was crazy, seriously. Muay thai was insane, my normal routine of 5 minute skipping, normally I couldn't get more than 100, like trip at 60, today I hit 245, like, WOW.
Yosef and me made a bad move too, haha we told Coach "Iskandar, today we damn stress, prepare to get whacked hard." Then he wallop us upside down instead. Moral of the story, DO NOT PLAY AROUND WITH YOUR COACH. Omg, he hammer us with his arm, we blocked, and our body weight couldn't take his PUNCH NOR KICK! We were like, Scrambling for balance. All hail Iskander, Heavily trained Muay thai personnel, but oh yeah. It felt GOOD! WHACK ME MORE!

Anyway play time seems to be over, everywhere in my organizer's like work work and more work. Go home, work waiting, and more and more to come. I don't have a choice anymore, and I know I must work through this, all that's wrong with me is bad time management, bad money management, and bad PERSONAL management.
Oh I need to get drunk, and all my mornings are taken, stupid shit. Anyone wanna try drinking with me in the afternoon (SIAOOOO) haha.

~KeongSterZ~ So many people owe me treat, haha u all sucks~

2007-10-24T22:35:00.000+08:00

Special Extra Topic Of The Day: Seriously, Who Have I Been Shitting All These While?

I didn't need to think, I seriously felt LOUSY, sitting down at kenneth's office trying to complete my full friendster spy-on-everyone's-pictures list. I finished till E, Look what the hell I found. Even shocked myself.

Taken from chris, year 2003 sia, IVP somemore sia. IN TP SOMEMORE SIA. And who do we have? The ANCIENTS, me included.
From Left: Michael gui (=.=), Tay Weijun (Weiwen's Bro?), can't recognize the next one, Mingthai (My Ai Bo/Partner), Chris, Daniel Jacob (Model), Dave, ME =D
Bottom row from left :Amanda, Pamela, Mag, LYNDA!!!, Sarah N Weiling.

Taken from Jacky, I seriously recall this as my longest hair period, at the age of 19, 7 days before I entered the army, and the day I seriously died. When I look at everyone else, it just seems we've changed, alot.

Taken from JH, This one made me feel like shit. How could I not have my own graduation photo? *Sigh* Which world I come from man?

Somehow I recalled this photo damn well, I went straight into weiwen's frenster to get it (The other weiwen, weiling's sister). There goes my doubles partner Mingthai.

I just wanted to put this, just too cool =D.

I see more, I sian more. Everyone has been growing up these past few years, we all went through so much, I've seen my fair share of people that changed drastically as well. Towards both the good and bad side, honestly I dare not say I've improved, but I dare say I've seen a fair bit.
I thought about what I went through with Chua, the pictures we had with him, what he is now, and what he is to me now. It seems to us that he's changed, it seemed that way. Maybe it's just me being a man with many different angles of thinking (everyone "YOU THINK TOO MUCH LA KEONG"), but yeah, is it really his fault?~

~KeongSterZ~

2007-10-24T13:53:00.000+08:00

Random Ranting:
Went looking for Candice to go out with me since everybody's off at training anyway, we had a really long talk in chomps, really random and funny stuffs, but enjoyable nonetheless. Crazy bitch went to buy 3 bowls of tau huey, and I ended up having a stomachache =.=.
It felt good that I wasn't forgotten still =p. And now I face the major problem of finding a way to deal with black bear and get Gabriel in. Super tough shit going on with what's happening in there, it's like chances are at 0.01% or something (Card drop rate in RO, 10000 tries)
I was being advised, that doing anymore for them would spell major trouble. Totally making sense, my decision was to just hang with my usual buddies. Furthermore, they're the only ones who will be playing with me on the non-training days now.

Work Topic Of The Day: The Planner~
Enough of my own rants, here's on my next research, definetely exists in every office. It's called, the planner. Now it doesn't mean anything positive in the sense that this kind of person plans for his work and stuffs. I'm talking about him planning wisely for his own advantage.
Now what am I talking about? I shall try to pop an example with my name. Keong wants to go on a 4 day 3 night holiday to Malaysia, and he needs to take 2 days leave, 1 month before his planned trip, he plans his leave days. On the day he planned to "apply" for leave, he worked extremely hard, making himself look very hardworking and stuffs (Only on that particular day btw). And at the end of it, he goes to boss n requests for leave =.=
Now what are the chances of boss rejecting it? I'll tell you, VERY LOW. It's not that boss can't see that Keong's working extra hard to increase his chances, it's just that at that point of time, the boss will humour him because he put in effort to day, and give it to him.
Haha I had many similar experiences in army with that, it's everybody, even myself. Haha, u know, the feeling, when u wanna ask for a favour, you better make sure you do things right first. My mum's workplace today also had a "hardworking" person that I've only seen for 4 days so far, haha asked my mum for leave today, I wonder if she's that kind of person. We'll find out in time to come =D.

Here's this game I'm playing right now, How much do you think you're worth in terms of ALCOHOL? Let's play by the club charges. How much money do you think a guy needs to spend on you to kill yourself? This is my rough gauge
Fiona = Unlimited (Even if she's dead she can still drink, so what the hell)
Leong JH = $220 (I'm assuming 2 bottles of liquor hahaha)
MYSELF = $120
Candice = NOT MORE THAN $100
Maria = NOT MORE THAN $80
Asriel = $40 (ASRIEL GO HOMEEEEEEE U SUCKKKK)
Jonatha Surya = $20 (I think give him 1 shot he die =p)
Aaron Leong = $8 (1 can of beer and he's dead =D)

Haha ok that was for fun, well fill in your "worth" in terms of liquor, how much worth of alcohol u need to kill yourself =DDDD. Tag board over there, help yourself. Feel free to argue any of the existent "formulas" over there as well.

~KeongSterZ~ Nothing else interesting to do here anyways.~

2007-10-23T18:02:00.000+08:00

Work Topic Of The Day: The amazing "siam-mer"

Random Rants First:
Well, yeah I was just sticking around confirming my worst fears, and, sheesh, it turned out to be true anyway. Boy I feel so good getting such information out, but it also means, I should stay away, for good. The usual dudes will go "High Time Brother", and I'd be told "Go find an alternative, you're smart, but you're not using that intelligence". Yeah okay, moving on time.
So while the whole TP's having their first training, I'm just at home, just the first one leh, give me time to forget =p. Let me dedicate this song to myself =DDDD
Backstreet Boys : Show me the meaning of being lonely

Oh That was random, I gotta slap myself if I say I'm lonely. This is no longer my secondary school life of fighting alone. I'm fighting for a reason, my reason to live, and already I see the people right behind me. (Why did roy and weird pop out first?)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Okay, so we're on to the next work topic, the Amazing Siammer.
These people, for one, are seriously amazing people, I recall 2 people in my camp, I mean, they're damn good at one thing. Dodging work, not just that, even if they're assigned work, they're pretty good at getting away from it. They just need to figure out it's urgency level and feign illness, make it seem like it's not their job, and stuffs like that.
I mean, wow, they've pretty quick minds, I mean, popping out excuses really almost instantly, or vanishing into thin air somehow or another, and they just keep getting away with it. I believe these guys are the best at playing mind games with people, especially their bosses. The ones who talk the most but works the least, oh well. Pretty much hated all around as well, except they're more of the "difficult to spot" type, and of a very intelligent species.
I don't know how the world will see these kind of people, but in my eyes, these people actually have their own way of using the 48 laws of power to their advantage, twisting about 10 rules to suit their "benefits", and are a serious threat in my eyes. Remember the laws, I define them as dangerous because they mainly utilize other people's hard work for their stepping stones to the top. In my dictionary, these people are my worst enemies.

My mum's company is pretty clear cut though, everyone's just busy, that's it. Screwups happen because everyone's overloaded with work. So there's really nothing to grumble about apart from the casual gossiping you hear.

Anyway, that's about all. I don't really have a work environment to study or analyse about, but i do get lots of "clients" to analyze, so hard to please, sheesh.

~KeongSterZ~ Line of the day from lil Sis "Stress? Stress means wanting to do more work, I'm not like that~

2007-10-22T16:37:00.000+08:00

Keong's Research Centre MKII: Work Society.
Random bullcrap: Little sis described my cut hair as an australian hooligan missing the motorbike, and when I wear my cap, she says I look like an old man balding, when I wear it the other way round, she says I look stupid. Moral of story: BYE BACK HAIR!

Phase 1: Top Blacklisted People In Society.

I've been sitting around office doing the usual accounting, calculating shit that never seems to end. Apart from the usual toilet breaks and water drinking that probably costed only twenty minutes, the remaining 3hrs and 40 minutes were spent on the calculator and staring at invoices.

Work society, what there is to it? I'm slowly re-thinking up my previous experiences at work, simple ones like cashiering, serving, technical work, to logistics in the army, and now accounting. Allow me to re-share one experience in the army, one person that I'll never forget in my entire life, or at least, not in the next twenty years, for being the biggest motherfucker in the world.

This might bring up some memories, really cool ones =D, let's hope some army colleague of mine pops in and sees this HAHAHA.

For interested personnel who do not know, well this is my workplace in the army, it's called a store, oh and that, you see is a make-believe PSP, actually flooded with 9volt batteries tagged together, see the L and R on both corners? Well if you touch both, you'll get a pretty heavy shock, under normal calculations there should be 250 volts going through your veins. Hence the "Idea" of a make-believe PSP. Haha
Internally constructed by Keong, externally black-taped by shaun wong Yihao, Pictures donated by Shawn tan, and there's our artwork. Btw the walrus = Me. Uhhhmm, let's just say cause of my names in english that always starts with W, Walter, Wright, this fucker just decided to call me a walrus, and draw loads of it all over store. And the guy in that picture, is the mofo~. Well I bitch about him all the time, so there you have it. I'm throwing a fireball at him =D. Haha bullshit, how much free time do we have =p

Enough of introductions, this guy is called Desmond Seet, Human extroadinaire(Self-invented word) who I seriously have not seen in my whole life. I've seen wayang people, but this guy is Downright Amazing.
He has the biggest Ego in life, one that seriously brought his downfall. Bringing himself down to the bottom level, he constantly assumes and self-declares himself as the most important person ever in the world, so much that without him, we'd just die. Obviously, we proved countless times that he's not important at all, his boasts still kept going on though.
One person I seriously recommend no one to be, his is an extremely short-term success, bringing people to believe that he is, in fact, very hardworking and important, for the shortest period of time, and just avoid him for the rest of their lives. His colleagues, on the other hand, has constantly got disgusted by him, and have all begun to avoid him like the plague. That is the life of what I'd describe as a real loser, and I don't know how he's still at it. I seriously think he makes a good insurance agent. He'll convince many people with his bullcrap, we shall not discuss about the after-service.

~KeongSterZ~ Life In Store Just Gets So Much Better Without Him Around, I know there's bound to be people worse than him out there, but boy, i'll be damned if I do see one~

2007-10-21T23:11:00.000+08:00

Topic Of The Day: Life sucks when you think it sucks, life suck even if you think it doesn't suck in reality, but life wouldn't suck, when you're around with the people who makes your life feel good.

RO just sucks these days, fucking server lags so bad I'm probably not touching that game ever. And my work just keeps piling up and I'm not doing anything about it. I did tell myself I'll slowly change, haha, we'll see about that.

Everyday I think of life, and I think of people who always think about life, I'm talking about Mel, who's being a nurse over at NYP, initially regretting the job, and now pretty much changing his concept about it. He understands the flow of human thoughts, and how man are quick to jump to conclusions through his job. That is the reality of mankind, and one that people needs to watch for.
Mana, one who i've not seen much, a little of a hostile personality, one that doesn't like mingling with the commoners for the simple reason that they're common, people who are just being themselves, selfish, self-centered, staying in their dog-eat-dog concept of the world. He shares similar views with me, and we have talked once in awhile over mankind.
Mr Leong JH, one who got me exposed to several situations in life, constantly training his mouth to get certain points into that stiff head of mine, this man has shown the importance of leadership in man and the dominative side of humans. Certain people are gauged in a bar, in terms of submissive personalities, or dominative ones. When two dominative sides meet, conflicts occur, but the submissive masses will determine the winner. In other words, there is no right or wrong, there is only convincing and not-convincing.
Asriel, the childish piece of shit who just reminded me of one thing. That life is not all about getting real. It's about lightening the hearts of people to make them open up to you through childish theraphy. He may be a little too extreme being too laid back and lazy, but his actions has never ever failed to cheer any person up as far as I see it. From him he has shown to me, that it doesn't mean you have to be serious to mean business.
Mag, the most optimistic person in Life i ever met. Outside she's always cheery and stuffs, inside she's just a girl with a cheery heart. Regardless of that, she has changed the lives of many people, including my very own. Even now she remains busy and constantly successful in her friendship circle, not having many problems on her side, but deep inside she keeps her stress to herself. The least I could do, is to keep her happy, and stay truthful to my vow towards her. From this one girl, I learnt that optimism really works. If you look confident, people see you in a different way altogether, this plays an important part not only in work, but in practically everything in life.
Dajie, the life-switcher, turned my concept 360degrees around, I know i said this countless times anyway. The one that has showed endless laughter, and if you get a chance to see a sad face in her, go buy 4D, seriously. Even in situations that would put people down for a period of time, she wouldn't even budge to look sad, she expresses her sad feelings openly towards people but with a big smile outside. God knows how she does it, but that is the very ability that lightens my heart just so easily. Through her, I learned that there's nothing in this world that you cannot endure, because out there, there's always someone else out there who's in a much worse situation than you are. That is, a fact of the world, and her determination drives the people around her on keeping their goals in track.
And finally, myself. One who always thinks he bears no purpose in life, but he knows that better than anyone else. Refusing to submit to common people in life, he acts against the norm of mankind. If it's normal for people to lie for their own benefits, then he shall not lie. If this is a dog-eat-dog world, he will throw his life away to save another dog. But in spite of that, the world will not look at me as being unique, they look at me as being stupid. My ignorance towards the world's concept of me will be my very downfall, and in order for me to maintain my goals, I have to succumb to the world's demands. Towards the end, I will still be a commoner.

These are the main core people that always got me thinking deeply about life, their various personalities, their innate abilities, and the "Aura" they emit out, and the effects that places an impact on other people to change their views of thinking and working. Honestly at this point of time, I can say that I am one who is not very young already, I have seen much, but generally isn't enough. Work society is what I have to counter next, and these people will be the ones I'm thinking of constantly to continue to improve my working/living standards towards people.
This is how far my research has taken me on friendships and people, it is time to take the research to the next level. The work society. I can so see a sad journey of mine, but honestly, I'm not even slogging yet. At least I know I'm not alone, and that's all I need, really.

~KeongSterZ~ Even the worst people in society gives u things to look at. It's not looking straight towards them, it's prying into their personalities. Not many people can hide them well anyway.~

2007-10-20T12:00:00.000+08:00

Morning Topic Of The Day: This Is Seriously, The Third time. . .

The third time since I seriously considered this topic, and it seems implementation is inevitable at this point of time. This is a story about Keong, the Keong that everyone knew has to go sooner or later. In an estimation of a few more weeks, this should spell the end of the Bo-Chupper.

This blog has lasted for years, I know the readers, I know the people who pop by for fun, and I know this was supposed to be a research centre. It stays as one now, my own personal research.

So what can this "Third" Time be all about? The Image I present. I had to take one final glance at my friendster, the "horrifying" picture of my ultra long hair at 18 when I was hell drunk, the video that got my long hair right down to nothingness, the 2 years hair shortage, and now back to the LHB. Before it goes out of hand though, it really seems to be time to let go. Even before I get my goddamn ponytail, oh wells. Fuck that. Then again I thought to myself, How the hell did I have such friends with such an image? Then again, that's when you get to extremities, your friends are at the top.

So what can I say about myself? I'll be damned, for the things I listened to today, all comes down to one symbol. $$$$$$$. Everything basically costs, and honestly, like boss says, we're aiming for the best, that being said, my easygoing side has got to go. I either stand my ground here, or stay the slacker, and by the time I'm done, this blog would see the last of LoserKeong. Might have to relocate to something better huh, assuming my pessimism drops and optimism rises.

Things I was told to Look at:
1) Hair ---- Cut the damn shit, look neater (Fuck Fuck fuck fuck, oh wells)
2) Fingernails --- Regular maintenance, last fingernail also cut (zZzZz)
3) Hairband --- Get that retarded thing off my neck (I don't even feel it there)
4) Specs --- Apparently too striking, better downgrade to normal looking ones.
5) Dressing --- Color, type, brand, everything. Whoa, I'm being talked serious.
6) Wear Contacts --- . . . After so much of saying no, Would it be better if I just do one final push and go for the best?
7) Wear A Visor --- All my laughing at people wearing visor looking GAY, now I have to laugh at myself.

Everything but the contacts part, I think I'll just cry. My company means business, And I represent my company, so I mean business. Lemmie just get my photographer to see how long I lasted before I actually make myself look presentable for once. Where's my usual consultant, hahahaha.

I guess I'll start off with hair, it should go today, somehow. Damn, Presentability requires money for regular investment, and obviously, it's something I don't posess. Guess I'll have to work around it. Personal Do-up. Should ask Dajie to do up my hair. Sub-standard but it's free, oh wells =p.
Oh, special thanks to Dajie, I obviously got my work performance back onto sound ground today. Your cheery personality was all I needed to get me back on track. Haha, thanks.

Best Shots Galore:
The legendary photo of all times that I loved. JH & Keong @ Sentosa

Keong taken at sentosa, supposed to be paikiaish, but it kinda looks more like a monkey. .

HELP LARRRRR~~~~ Dun Expect to be spoonfed, It's time to HELP YOURSELF

~KeongSterZ~ Someone psycho me that contacts are not as bad as they sound, NOOOOOOOOO~

2007-10-20T01:50:00.000+08:00

Topic Of The Day: People enter your life daily, people leave your life daily. That's the flow of life.

Had a few issues in life, as they always say. Shit always comes together. I just had 2 major ones hit me straight together at a very bad timing. So the outcomes builds up a troubled Keong.
Next problem is, he doesn't really have anyone to talk to. Only one in line is Mr leong, and I feel bad enough already thinking of him only when I needed someone to talk to, but hell, he's too busy with his own life, so I presume I could live without sharing one or two problems with him.
I actually found the right person, Dajie. Haha, honestly. While working I decided to try my luck with an sms which ended up getting us having a mahjong session cum supper at chomps. The usual Weiling, Kit, Julie, Dajie, Keong and Keong!~ (Oh Dajie's boifren also called Keong)

I didn't even need to talk, I just had this feel she'd just brighten up my day along with the rest of them with their stupidity as usual, and hell she sure did lighten things up. It's kinda amazing how they do it sometimes, but it gets in some of them. I can picture myself being stupid sometimes, especially with kids. I guess that's probably the same way they enjoy me as much as I enjoy their company.
I actually won in mahjong against them for the first time. $3 though, but yeah. It's the company that's priceless. Seriously this is the period where I felt I appreciated them the most. What else can I say? Some people are just amazing.

So now I've got a sis who I sworn to protect with my life, I can add on a big sis who I can proudly say that she is my sis. Being yourself plays a major part in everything after all. I did think of what would have happened if she was my mum, would have been cool. Really.
That in mind, I've got a serious buddy, an optimistic younger sis, and a very cheery big sis, that's more than enough for me.

~KeongSterZ~ Dajie's boifren Is Tan Kok Keong aka Lim GuoQiang.
My name Is Wong Weng Keong Aka Huang Yong Qiang, so yeah we're basically both Keongs.~

2007-10-18T19:29:00.000+08:00

2nd Topic Of The Day: Time Just Flies So Fucking Quickly.

I had a dream dozing off for just a few minutes and woke up in shock. Well, she popped out haha, the first girl I ever loved. I thought about it, thanks to a certain somebody I haven't seen in ages and popped into him at Zouk.

Probably the only one who ever knew who she was (I'm always damn secretive about this kind of shit), this guy has one of the utmost care-cells I've ever known of. We've played tennis together, his dad coached me, we hanged around often, he was my underling in the old CS clan called the Legendary Assasins (Hence my email dudes), and he's hit it big now.
Mr Melvin Tan Wei Yang, Haha, the man who hit the newspaper headlines countless times, but I only saw once, and only few months back. That article featured him 2 FULL pages wide during enrollment period to boost NYP's standard. So I guess his friends can proudly say, he's one of the successful people who hit the world.

It was stupid really, too long no see him, I had to SMS in zouk and type "Are u melvin tan?" Saddest thing was his response was "KEONG!!!" Which obviously means. . . . . I suck ~_~, he recognizes me, I don't recognize HIM!~
He was the same natural self, innocent, smiling all the time, very natural sense you get from him. I used to work for him once when he opened a lanshop over at Newton's Balmoral plaza. I still keep in contact with his dad only though, since he's probably the only tennis player left in the family.

I've been hitting friendster and blogs pretty often too due to my admin works that just tends to get boring after a certain period of time, so I did some search on him. Haha boy was I shocked, FOUNDER~!

http://www.royalculture.com.sg/ <--- FOUNDER SIA, WHAT CAN I SAY!~?
http://www.melvin.sg/ <--- Can do blog featuring too, hahaha

Well, his face seriously brings me back to the secondary school days of happiness, where we played CS and cursed "CHEEBYE CHAO TYCO" and "FUCKING LUCKY", poor Wayne, always getting screamed at by me in the younger days. Now he has a girlfriend earlier than I am and would probably kick my ass bigtime in bowling, wooha. Well, at least I'm a nice clan leader =D

So what else is there man, Rock on Mel =D, I'll catch up with ya soon.

~KeongSterZ~ Wished I still stayed in Serangoon . . . ~

2007-10-18T09:42:00.000+08:00

Topic of the day: Must I really Follow the Family Line Of Workaholics?

Maybe I'm too slack for too long, maybe I just don't like the idea of working like hell. I've friends who tell me they slog to death now only to relax later. I prefer to work and relax together till death. Parents do not really think so though.

Ever since I started working in my mum's office, she's been trying to get me to go whenever I can, and for some reason, she's pushing for full day for me just cause they have loads of work to do. Don't even want to think about it. It's like telling me to wakeup 7:30am in the morning work at 8:30 until 5:30pm only to prepare for coaching. That's endless full day work for me for at least 4 days a week =.=

That's not the end, even on my side, I have my own assignments, here I am shagged out and stuffs, so feeling like going to bed, got assignments waiting for me, my personal administrative affairs to deal with, company side, etc. 4 letters lah, S.H.A.G~ And I believe I'm still damn far from JH's stage. At least he's enjoying his work. I don't know how to enjoy mine.

The only probable advantage is I'm seeing more money come in. That company's paying me $50 per 8 hours of work daily, so assuming I half day for all 5 days, it's $an additional $480 a month, not alot, but oh wells, better off not complaining.
Her whole company takes me for an idiot, telling me to do things that I do not know, asking me to sign as if I didn't know what was in it for me. I've been in the logistics line for 1½ Years in the army, CHAO AUNTIE, dun fuck around with me okay.
But honestly, lanlan do lor, so just make sure do it right, no problem, can liao lor. Sian~

Mambo popped out backstreet boys sia, I think larger than Life or something like that, fucking nice lah. This one was cool, and probably my last mambo ever, unless I'm thinking suicidal again. Met Michael Gui there sia, oh well, we had a good drink and all. What can I say? RESPECT! U respect me! I Respect U!~ DRINK!

Maybe I should go smell the friggin bed now. Before that, next backstreet boys all-time-favourite : Show me the meaning of being lonely

~KeongSterZ~ Pushing the wrong kind of limit, once It Exceeds, It means death~

2007-10-15T19:38:00.000+08:00

2nd Topic Of The Day: What You Do Affects Other People, So Be Extra Careful.

Ultra lack of sleep caused me to doze off in my mum's office, ultra gay. Mind says "Mai koon, you'll sabo your mum", but already shut down. Well I tried to do what I could though, better make sure the same shit doesn't really occur again tomorrow.

Outward Bound Singapore Interview was kinda crappy, and funny. Went down kallang to actually "talk cock" with them rather than interview. It seems after too much excessive coaching I seem to have lost my sense of formality =.=

Anyway here's what Outward Bound Singapore is made up of (Can't believe i ASKED)
1: Homeground, Pulau Ubin =.= Take Ferry from punggol, the fuck!~?
2: Normal work hours, 8:15 to 5:45 except during outfield camping trips etc.
3: Estimated days of OUTFIELD camping trips which you can expect not to smell home, more than 200 a year =.= (More than half a year~? WOW)
4: Cool job, seriously. Canoeing, kayaking, swimming, trekking, you name it, I think they got it.
5: Heavy duty job, not recommended by Keong by the instructors cause of my back strain =.=
6: Coaches really fit the job (Oh Yeah?)

Good laughs, really. I wonder how I ended up getting so informal with them. I'm cool =X, or maybe I already told myself I was going in there to give them face hahaha. If they shortlist me for this friday's camp, hell, I'll be surprised. Well I've not gone to a camp for a long time, so be it a training camp, I'm kinda psyched up, but I must cancel my coachings ~_~. Oh wells, we'll see.

~KeongSterZ~ Wonder If My Mum Will Bitch If I Take Up The OBS Job =.=~

2007-10-15T08:32:00.000+08:00

Topic Of The Day: To Be Normal, Or Be Damn Abnormal =.=

Been seeing more and more mornings these days. Driving out at 6:30am when the sky's still dark and the wind's pretty cold just reminds me of the old school days when my dad used to drive me to my secondary school, except this time round I'm doing the driving.
As I took a closer look at my timetable, it's really pretty clear cut. I'm busy early in the morning, and in the night. Seldom have anything in the afternoon, and afternoon is the period I hate the most.
That into play, I actually have 2 choices, one is to be a normal person. Sleep 10pm daily, wakeup 6am, go through normal life like people do, or 2, be hell abnormal. Sleep after morning work, wakeup evening, work again, idle when everybody else's sleeping.
Obviously option 2 would be more appealing for me, after all, in my life, I'm already suffering the agony of having different work hours from my friends, hence the difficulty of meeting up anyway. We're destined to be alone =.= Dudes all working/studying in the afternoon, they knockoff, I work. Later in the night, they need to sleep, I need to sleep for next day's work, unless they're feeling suicidal like me =.= And option 2? Everybody's sleeping, I'm awake doing random stuffs, totally isolated from all normal people happening to smell their beds.
My mum would seriously murder me if I took option 2 though, maybe I should try to be normal =.=, get up in the afternoon and get used to the goddamn sun, goddamn traffic, goddamn everything, because it's normal. Can't avoid them forever, can I =p.

I seemed to really have toned down loads, it just seems so daily I'm getting a scolding again and again. Really turns me off so much I can think of quitting. I know definitely for sure though, the minute I back out, is the minute I destroy myself. Apparently my self-assumed "style" of life isn't even close to what work is all about. This will be my one and only fight against myself to stand up against what would be best described as the motherfucking-slacker-who-has-slacked-far-too-long-to-even-remember-working-ethics.

Does pay even seriously matter? People bitch about how much I get paid and stuffs. I've done work from cheap to pretty good pay, so it doesn't really matter to me. I've done H.I.G.H at $4 per hour with constant deductions thanks to a certain somebody, I've done $6 coaching an hour for 2 hours, with constant driving down to gardens and back, not even reimbursed for fuel. I've done $6/hr admin work data entry for my mum at an extremely fast pace, I've done coaching that ranges between $30-60 an hour, resources fully provided by me.
Is that what they meant about working like you're being paid more? I sure know from the outside what that means, but on the inside, hell, it seems I have so much more to learn. I shall continue to harden my pride and take in all the shit that comes to me, and then I'll wipe myself of my stupid retarded personality, and then I'll proudly declare myself a MAN, not a KID. Time to grow up, haha, that sounds so darn familiar.

Nuff of my self-declaration of stupidity, here's the next update on the next BSB blow-up, this is my 2nd personal favourite, No one else comes close. Oh it's live, so yeah well, backstreet boys has so few MTVs =.=

Back Street Boys - No One Else comes close.

~KeongSterZ~ Grow Up, Or Die Trying~

2007-10-12T17:11:00.000+08:00

Topic Of The Day: I Feel Like Shit, Nuff Said.

First day I went out to help my mum with some of her data entry work. Stepped into her office, 6 hours of typing, sheesh. KILL ME!~
Damn peepz were all amazed by my typing speed, goddamn shitty talent that is. Earns me $6 an hour =.=, good thing was, I thought I was going there just to help my mum since I had nothing to do. Haha, I GET PAID! WOW. $6!!! That's like 20% PAY INCREMENT from when I worked At H.I.G.H! COooool.

I need a life, and it really makes me wonder what I'm doing sitting around. Seriously feel like punching something right about now~

Backstreet Boys Fan KeongTardoz Is On the loose again, After their latest hit, Inconsolable. They just reminded me that I had all their albums, and I loved nearly every song to it. Well first introduction would be my own personal favourite. Sadly enough, the old songs don't really have MTVs, so yeah.

Backstreet Boys - Back To Your Heart (Correct Song, Pirated Show, well, just for entertainment while you listen to the song.)

~KeongSterZ~ Lifeless Cock On The Loose~

2007-10-11T09:49:00.000+08:00

Topic Of The Day: Couldn't Imagine The Fun We Had In Awhile.

Oh well, Keong decided to pull a stunt and go clubbing as usual with the usual gang, but just a handful of us. Mainly, Assy dude, wen, pat, Ele, rachel and me. I drove, so fuck the drinking, I didn't touch anything but water and ribena, Fuck that.

Who would have known, Mambo just sucked that day. The DJ just sucked so badly I counted 15 sucky songs in a row until some savior suggested Phuturing, and we spend the remaining 3 hours there till phuture stopped it's music. Well, honestly, I enjoyed the singing more =.=

Tough luck for me, the newer songs didn't quite appear. Sean kingston's Me love, Backstreet boy's Inconsolable, Linkin park's bleed it out, Kanye west's stronger etc, Akon's Sorry, blame it on me, damn. But it was damn obvious which one I preferred. Mambo has it's share of nice songs, but phuture's nicer to shout at.

The dudes had fun, and as usual, I was wondering what a 22 year old was doing hanging around with tp students, but go figures, I'm not wasting time thinking that now. Honestly, they're the ones I spend time with the most now. It may seem childish of me, it's better off working on being the loner at home.

Anyway, next in line of my favorite song, you dudes better like this. Next in line I'm learning. . .
Backstreet boys - Inconsolable (Note, before you play the MTV, u might want to shut the player up at the left side, that's my private album btw)

Lyrics:
Backstreet Boys Lyrics
Inconsolable Lyrics

~KeongSterZ~ Do I have another valid reason to live for?~

2007-10-09T01:45:00.000+08:00

Topic Of The Day: Girls~ Haha

I once met this girl, who was just on her normal work routine, just talked to her a little as a procedure and went on my ways. We somehow crossed paths a 2nd time through a meeting. During the discussion, nothing big particularly big happened, but towards the end, when I had the time to dream, I realized I was quite attracted to her, especially her eyes.
So good news to those buggers out there who happens to think me Gh3y jez cause I ain't attached for goddamn long, U guys can shut up now hahaha.
Anyways, that aside, don't think I wanna move for a relationship, really having it hard surviving on my own, it may actually be good news for me to actually take a liking to someone, but yeah, got better things to worry about.

So, neat topic today huh. GIRLS. Think I never came up with such a topic before.

Well, apart from people constantly suspecting me of being gay, the fact is, I'm constantly keeping myself from getting there. I call girls out once in awhile for shopping and stuffs like normal guys do, things to note is I probably ask everyone in my circle out to maintain the friendship and prevent me from actually falling in love with any single one of them, considering that most of them are attached.
Well I dare say anyway, we're all humans still, girls whine, guys? Well, we're a little weird. I think our way of whining, is basically, fighting, or hostility based stuffs. The more timid ones will be like the Girls? Preferring to just bitch.

A little few turn offs that really makes me happy I'm single. Girls somehow have a similar characteristic that differs from guys. For one, the voice. Haha, damn irritating. Guys go like "Eh fuck la, this guy damn cheebye etc. etc.", girls are more on the LONGER and ADDED SOUND EFFECTS type "Ehhhhhhh, you know ahhhhhh, this guyyyy from tp, he's such a bastard U know(With voice tone flying up and down, frequency constantly fluctuating as well), and I think some guys actually like that part of a girl =.=
2nd, the way they gossip. I was shocked, seriously, Guys gossip too, but girls gossip on the most weird topics. We gossip about people, and most commonly, about cute girls and stuffs "This girl cute sia, wonder how old she is, is she attached? Really ah? Attached to who ah? Lucky bastard." Girls? I really don't understand, they talk about things that ain't really their business, at all.
(Disclaimer: Names listed here are totally random and not targetted at anybody, any clash of names is totally coincidental)
"Eh U know this guy called Shawn? He's damn hottttt Laaaa!! And u know his girlfriend Tracy? They just broke up man!~ I heard Tracy initiated the breakup, what the hell man~ She doesn't know how lucky she is!!!"
"And then you know John? I heard he's a damn flirt, he goes after all the cute girls, I remember he went after sharon, then ditched her for another girl, then every 3 months he just kept going after girls that are popular in the school, what a jackass man."
Not that it's really a pain to hear all that. It's more like I'm a guy sitting there listening to talk about such stuffs and I wished I were home playing dota or something. Next in line with my head is "Can we talk about something more constructive?"

Next in line, girls are seriously, HARD TO PLEASE.
Case Study 1: Keong called the dudes up working and asked if they were hungry, this girl(I shall Protect her identity) told me they all just ate Macs and were full, so I dropped by empty handed 20minutes later only to hear her telling me she was DAMN hungry. . . .
Case Study 2: Keong just decided to do the "Anything lah, u all choose" when we had to decide where to eat. Everyone said A-N-Y-T-H-I-N-G. So I decided to bring them around to see, since we just saw the food court, I brought everyone to basement one to check out the rest of the restaurants, which just had a very nice feedback "Dowan burgers, fattening", and that practically wiped out everything there except KFC, think of the chicken? Enough said, haha, so we just walked back up the food court.
My feedback? All I did was say "Thank god you're not my girlfriend, I'd just die."

Quote from fm93.3:
Man: So how you want to go home?
Girl: Anything lor.
Man: Hmm ok, so we take a bus?
Girl: Wah, take bus, so long so crowded you wan me to die ah.
Man: Hmm ok, so we take taxi?
Girl: Dowan lah, spend so much money on taxi, you too much money ah?
Man: Ok, then I walk you to your house?
Girl: Weather so hot and you want to walk?
Man: Ok, then what you suggest?
Girl: Anything lor.
Man Whispering to himself: At that point of time, If i had a knife in my hand, I'd kill her with it, then kill myself.

Having said all that, I realize that I don't really have much of a right, I've never really experienced having a girlfriend before. And I wonder if it's a blessing in disguise, or I just refuse to give in =p. But somehow, there's a period I'm enjoying being single, and a period where I'm really pretty sad about it. I suppose if I'm someone who's attached, I'd probably have the same 2 parts, a period where I'm happy being attached, and one where I just wished I was single.

~KeongSterZ~ SEX Discrimination!~!~!~~

2007-10-07T22:57:00.000+08:00

Topic Of The Day: The Local Thief, Keong.

I stole this abstract from someone who stole it from someone else anyways, so we've the chain reaction of stealing. Anyways, without further delay, here it is.

Today we have bigger houses yet smaller families
More convenice, but less time
We have more degrees, but less common sense
More knowledge, but less judgement
We have more experts, but more problems
More medicine, but less good health
We spend too recklessly
Laugh too littke
Drive too fast
Get angry too quickly
Stay up too late
Read too littke
Watch Tv too much
And are less considerate

We have multiplied our possessions, but have reduced our values
We talk too much, love too little and lie too often
We have learned how to make a living, but not a life
We have added years to life, but not life to years
We have taller buildings, but shorter tempers
Wider roads, but narrower viewpoints
We spend more, but have less
We buy more, yet enjoy it less
We have been all the way to the moon and back
But have trouble crossing the road to meet our neighbours
We've conquered our outer space, but not our innerspace
We've split the atom, but not our prejudice

We wirte more, learn less, plan more, but accomplish less
We have learn to rush, but not to wait
We have higher income, but lower morals
We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies

But have less personal communication
We are long on quantity, but less in quality
These are the times of fast food and slow digestion
Tall men and short character
More leisure but less fun
More kinds of food but less nutrition
Two incomes but more divorce
Nicer houses but broken homes

That is why i propose, that as of today, you fo not keep anything for special occasions, because everyday you love is a speciall occassion.
Search for knowledge, read more.
Sit and admire the view without paying attention to your needs.
Spend more time with your family and friends.
Eat your favourite food and visit the places you love.
Life is moments of enjoyment and not just about surviving
Drink from the finest crystal glass.
Do not save your best perfume or after shave but use it everyday
Remove phrases like 'one of these days', 'someday' and 'not now' from your vocabulary.
Write that letter you though of writing 'one of these days'

Let's tell our familes and friends how much we love them.
Do not delay anything that adds laughter and joy to your life.

Everyday, every hour, and every minute is special.
As you do not know if they will be your last.

--------------------------------------------------------------
Day by day, I waste my time thinking about what people think in their minds when they say things to others, about others, etc.
Words, once you say them out, you can never take it back. So always consider your words before you say something that hurts someone.

Every time somebody says something directed at another, there's a feeling in him, a feeling of rage, where the goal is offensive, or a remark of sarcasm. Anything goes. The point is, there's a target goal he/she wants to achieve to affect the party/parties of their feelings, or changing of views, concepts.
So I like to spend time these days thinking "Why did he decide to say these things?" "What is their goal?", many people tell me it's a waste of time, and that I think too much. Only too true. But my concept? No harm done. It's my interest anyway, even if I don't wanna think, I'll still think anyway. So what the hell.

~KeongSterZ~ No white hair outside, think got alot of white cells in my brain =p~

2007-10-03T00:40:00.000+08:00

Topic Of The Day: No outside research, inside on me, plz skip if uninterested =X.

It seems I didn't need people to tell me what's wrong with me after all. Either I've reached a high level of self-awareness, or maybe I just had to see it on the situations that happens between me and others.
I had a situation recently that I just feel should really not be talked about since I feel it should posess a high level of confidentiality, but I was only too sure of myself. I was damn fucking jealous of somebody, the intensity so high, I could see it in myself. I could sense it, and honestly, I wasn't happy with having that feeling. I may have not shown any form of resent, but for me to have that thought in my head, it shows there's more to my dark side than what I ever imagined.

I had lots of time recently, sitting down eating lunch/dinner on my own, either behind my house coffee shop or at some fast food outlet waiting for my next coaching. I sat back thinking about today's experience, and what awaits me tomorrow. And when I thought about myself closely, I realized that for the first time, I was working with someone, who wasn't exactly a friend. Oh well, a friend who only became my friend when I started working for him.
I was very "gek gao" in what people would say, when you talk about very money-minded, it just came to me after my bad experience I'd suppose. Even though I'm still very quiet about it, it didn't get out of my head. Just seems I was trained to see through such things. So I'm in my world of "awareness" but acting like I don't. Weird life I have.
So when he entered my life, I was particularly cautious, yet doing nothing. As I worked for him, I gradually saw for myself what I was doing.

As stipulated to my previous post, I was doing what people feel I was good at doing, they showed me a path to walk onto, and all I needed to do, was not to let them down. So I stood up and tried facing every challenge that blocked my path. Into this path though, I thought about the kids who were very happy with me, and the kids who weren't, and I knew myself as the man who didn't like kids in the first place. Doesn't that mean I'm doing something I don't like?
By a chance or something, a mirror was ahead of me. I saw an unhappy person, one who wants to walk his own path, but no idea what kind of path it was, or where to start. What's more contradicting was, I thought of my current path, and I was not entirely unhappy about it. I'm one who's result oriented, so when I see people improving, I get happy. I feel I'm just getting unhappy from time to time of the unexpected situations that I seem to get myself into.

Now I stand between 2 paths, the one I have to discover, and the one I happily walked into. Keong is now 22 years old, I wonder what stage this is, can't be puberty, maybe it's the growing up to the adult stage. Does that mean I'm still a kid? Afterall, I did say that I didn't see the need to grow up.

~KeongSterZ~ When I find out my true feelings, will I open a whole new path to myself?~

2007-10-02T03:07:00.000+08:00

Topic Of The Day: One problem arises after another.

The usual saying of "Shit likes to happen altogether". It really isn't much of all of it falling on me at the same time, it's more on "unresolved" issues that just seem to pop out in my head again. And I just don't know how to solve em.
Well who would have known, just arriving for my inter-club early and sleeping in the car, heads up, I saw her friggin dad, and he was staring at me. And I swore I wished to at least see her once after 8 years and just say sorry, and then again, was so damn afraid to.
Towards the end, my running away has persisted up till now. I faced my own bad points, but I could never face this issue. Not contacted for 8 years, but I know how to get to her, just that, well, balls small again. My confidence is so at it's lowest now. I'm full of doubts for myself, and what's new. Can I actually tell people that I'm trying when all I'm doing is sitting around?

I've deceived myself for far too long I believe, and my next move, is to move on with life. I think deep into my life, I've always been waiting for people to deliver meaning into my life. People that place their trust in me, their faith in me. At the very least, thinking that I'm not finding my own goals, I could, at the very least, not dissapoint them.

~KeongSterZ~ Discovering Myself Bit By Bit, But Discovering Doesn't Mean Improving~

2007-09-27T02:29:00.000+08:00

Topic Of The Day: How would you choose to die?

Well, Wen and me just got to the topic of death and how people in the army die, stretching themselves past their limits and collapsing to their deaths at the end, encountering accidents and dying, and suicides, like my friend who jumped to his death in the army. As well as outside people, such as my grandmother who died the peaceful way, in her sleep.
Well think further and maybe you can die of being shot at by a rifle, being blown up by a dynamite, C4, grenade. Or whatever, many shit. Haha to be honest, I really want to die quick, not even in my sleep. I'd rather something that'll just knock me out, for good. Instantly. Don't know if that exists, but yeah well. We'll find out.

Well life is as usuals, slacking, coaching, slacking, coaching. There's really nothing to look forward to in my life now. Maybe I need to work harder and push myself. My blood somehow just stipulates having fun, hahaha.
Well I did fantasize about owning a house to myself entirely, just slacking in there alone blasting my music (Like JON), then again, I'm thinking too far =D.
Maybe I should aim for a car first, shouldn't keep troubling jon. I wonder if he ever gets worried with my driving his car, like "Hope Keong dun bang car" shagginess.

Anyways, it's nice knowing many people, been seeing Koreans, Japs, Indians, so far so good, nice bunch of people. Each with their own personalities and stuffs. I think it's just human, it's not the race.
Oh and it seems I'm a boring person =.=, so how do I go about learning to start being a clown?

Next Song Of The Day: Sean Kingston, Me Love , I love this shit.

~KeongSterZ~ Step forward, face every challenge posed to you. Running away solves nothing, facing it might result in failure, but gives you experience still.~

2007-09-25T12:45:00.000+08:00

Topic of the Day: Friggin long day of work, or what you define it as.

Sometimes I wonder if my work's good. To make it sound nice, my work is only 5 hours today, and it's a long day. Why? It starts 2pm, ends 9pm. It's the driving that kinda turns me off. traffic and stuffs. Sheesh.
I shall not be choosy though, I decided on this path, I better make it good.

My first screwup occurred last Saturday when I overslept for an hour session, apparently they weren't so forgiving so things went crazy for a lil. Then I thought back on my "Don't screw people up" theory. Well I just did anyway, there's no solution to it, there's only a "No more next time you motherfucker" for me. Hope you guys understand what I meant when I say "Leave the fuckups to when you were young".
So I forced myself to bed 2am last night, for once I felt normal, I guess. So I guess I better rethink my objectives of the year.

A nice lil form of appreciation for the regular visitors, I love this song =D.

Akon - Sorry, Blame it on me

~KeongSterZ~ I'll be the Darkness to lead you back into the light~

2007-09-23T02:29:00.000+08:00

Topic Of The Day: More personal talk~

I lied down in bed one day, fricking tired, but totally not sleeping. First thing I thought back was about what Derru talked to me about when the guys went to see Maria off.
Well for those who didn't know, well we had a farewell hug, not exactly surprising or special in any way, but to me, it wasn't common, or rather, VERY uncommon. If I recall my history of hugging people if you minus family, cousins, etc. I can only think of 2, Dajie and Mag =.=, and both was when they were flying off to Australia for a long study.
So mine with Maria, was really awkward, I kinda like, haha, uhm, took the hug with a very awkward look and feeling, and pushed her off at the end. Well not exactly nice to push if you ask me, but it just came at that time, I guess I just felt really weird. I'd still feel quite bad if you ask me.

So that brought me back to me thinking about girls and myself, and looking back, I never really did do much to girls, somehow I was trained to have this mindset it was offensive to touch girls, think it's my mum somehow when I was really young. Well she's traditional and conservative if you ask me, and she made me that way too, sadly enough.

And I thought deeper about me having close contact with girls, I was brought back to my miserable past. The very first girl I liked. She gave me warmth, gave me feelings, seriously makes me see that I never returned any of it back to her. Maybe I should go look for her after so long and really, do something for her? But nowhere to begin, I should stop dreaming.

Anyway, I carried on a little bit of research, and I kinda wondered to myself about the fragility of things, especially friendships. It's like how it can take years to nurture a friendship but just a mistake to totally shatter it. Well extent? Comes in many ways if you ask me. Everyone has their priorities, and they have their own views on what they can accept and what they can't. Without knowing and understanding these, complications occur almost too easily, so ultimately, what comes down to agreement, is patience and forgiveness.
Towards the end, friends are but people who entered your life by chance, you may or may not meet one way or another, and when you continue to think it that way, you do not treasure your friendship very highly. That's really my advantage of being right at the bottom. Any friend you run into, is someone that'll help you, and you'll be thankful for their knowledge and assistance.

I've actually came up with a nice little scheme to actually see if you can trust a friend, but problem is, trust comes in many ways, so well. The heart cannot be read, as kingdom hearts 2 says, haha.

~KeongSterZ~ What happens when we were small, will happen when we turn to adults. The only difference, is that the consequences will be more drastic. Make mistakes while you're still young, and ensure that the mistakes stay in the past~

2007-09-15T03:00:00.000+08:00

Random Rants: All I did was to be myself, and I'm the bad guy now.

Predictions were all too accurate. After Jacky I felt that I probably ain't so good with mind reading, maybe more towards future-telling. Everything went the way I guessed but never did wanted. Now I'm facing the most cruel fact that should have landed on me 3 years ago. TP tennis team is no longer within my reach.

My 5 years with him, is finally over. For good. The way he does things, is just so amazingly just him. I didn't hear him declare open war, but had to hear from other people, and he had to pull other people into his petty battle. I'm done for, I'm so pulling out. I don't see a point to fight when he's just trying to create more chaos in the team just to get me out.
Looking at my future though, it really seems I've nowhere to run. The clash is to come sooner or later, might as well stand up and face the music. Life at it's most real reality kicking right at me.

Current jobs I've been doing shows me a lot, about me, and my friends. Which is really good for my own personal reference. I didn't really believe this myself, but I'm being feared, obviously not for my looks (Damn, JH would say I'd look like the easily conned), but rather, for my nature of setting things right.
I've thought about everyone around me except JH & gang, I think there isn't one person I haven't scolded yet. Yeah the chalet was a real screwup, with me practically screaming at every single fellow who showed up on the first day. Really dumb man, that was also the time I swore that's the last time I'd do anything for them that involves risking other people into trouble. Sheesh. Stress factor was so darn high.

So tell me I'm temperamental, too serious or don't know how to relax. Or rather, tell me that people around me are just stupid, or I just can't accept their behavior, or I just plain suck.

~KeongSterZ~

2007-09-12T00:13:00.000+08:00

Random Rants: Everyday Is An Eye Opener, A Mystery, And Great Research.

Gonna be long, gotta bear with me. It's been 22 days since the last update. Much has happened. TP guys' event schedule has officially ended as of today, with 4th sept kicking off with KTV, arcade, Wednesday Clubbing, Thursday Paintball, And the final chalet that occurred from 9th to 11th. Everything was cool and okay apart from a few screw ups and stuffs, but yeah, you really learn alot every single day.

Same goes with the SIP dudes, Pearlyne started off leaving first on the 7th, Maria on the 10th, and Merv, today. Wednesday is the day the rest of them starts their SIP as well.

As for myself, I've been moving on at a very slow pace, very unhappily adapting to diverting time between work and play. Things get worse each day with me not giving myself enough sleep even after work is over. I'd go hang around with friends or go play around, and yeah, I think I like that kind of life still. More work is jumbling up as the days go by, and, aiya, fuck. Don't want to work man.

My whole life basically revolves around me helping people and people helping me. Although it's not exactly a very fruitful life, to me, it's a life of meaning. I mentioned before that we are there to be made use of by friends. That is the norm. When things go the way I describe it though, it's like, we rely on each other, and that's the kind of life that's pretty meaningful to me.

I haven't really been slacking on the psychological side, still keeping my eyes on people and staring at behaviors, especially when rare situations occur that you don't normally get to see elsewhere. That's where the ugly truth appears that we humans are just so predictable. Only weird thing is why I'm just basically the only one who openly declares my bad points and still trying to find out more.

My path has been yet again directed as well. With one path totally closed out and another opened that opens up another challenge of friendship, I think my life is so full of them. Towards the end, I think my outcome will be my ability to sustain, maintain, keep up to my standards, and stay faithful. Only then will my life open up to what I wanted from the start, more true friends.
The harsh truth to myself as well, is that somehow I have the 2-face kind of personality. Half people will see me as easy to bully, the other half will be afraid of me. And I don't know how they define that, but I know how they feel. Shout at too many kids already. I think my life is all about shouting at people. Maybe I should just try to be the national day leader carrying the sword shouting the commands to everyone some day.

Oh anyway, super long list of people I have yet to murder off in drinking, haha super long list but no chance no time, goddamn. Drivers suck~ My Job sucks~
And yeah, just now 98.7FM muttons at midnight was talking about Fann Wong being willing to take off all her clothes for a script that's good. Well that means PORN! What was really funny was that they sang a song about them.

Play this song in your head now . . . . Sean Kingston - Beautiful Girls. . . .
And here goes the lyrics they sang. . .

Fann Wong Please Take Off your clothes, you know it is for work
You'll Have Chris Suicidal, Suicidal, he Might try to drive again.
Oh fann please take off your clothes, do it for the sake of work
You'll have chris suicidal, suicidal, he might try to drive again~

I kinda forgot the rest, but yeah hell, damn funny it was, security guard at my guardhouse thought I was crazy laughing at myself. Oh wells. Anyway, now that most of my buddies are gone (OSIP, SIP), and my work's clogging up. I guess it really is time to move on. But No0o0o0o0o. I will try to find a way to go between work and play hahahaha.

Some mambo Pictures before we move on, I guess. . .Haha

~KeongSterZ~ It just gets clearer and clearer, I just need to open up my work life a little, but I can throw my time off for play as well. Just need to organize it well~

2007-08-20T06:01:00.000+08:00

Topic Of The Day: The Big Picture In Everything. Do We See It At All?

Today marked the day I started playing my kingdom hearts 2 again, or what Jon would call it as Mickey Mouse 2 hahaha. I bought the bloody original since the pirated ones couldn't work for nuts. And yeah, I completed the Mulan stage, then Beauty N the beast, and Just began working on Winnie The Pooh =D.

Well in case for those who don't know why I'm so into KH2, I actually find it damn cool to find an RPG that merges all the old disney stuffs together. Better yet, they have squaresoft in em! So my final fantasy dudes are in there too. But what's most important, is always their storyline.

When we were youngsters, we were exposed to cartoons, tv shows and stuffs that always taught us about life. When we first learnt, we'd really go all out to implement it the minute we're convinced. I once remembered I was taught how to save water, and I went crazy over water saving schemes for the next 3 months, and look at me now, like as if I still care =.=
Now that we're the big guys now, we do not look at these stuffs just simply. We look at it in a very different manner. Animes like prince of tennis, what do they show? It's easy, really. They're just showing you the fighting spirit they posess.

And now we talk about Kingdom hearts 2, it's a game full of disney characters. Mickey mouse, Donald, Goofy. I just unlocked Chicken Little Too! (WTF I can summon him!)
Look at KH2 as a game, people will say "For Kids" kind of game, childish shit etc. The big picture in it? Huge knowledge on life. Treasuring friendships, ways of life, such as anger blinds one from the truth, relying on one another, bla bla bla.
These are all common sense stuffs, but then again, why do all of us still commit the same problems? Why do even I continue to make mistakes that I am so aware of?

Matter of fact is, man needs to be constantly reminded of the values. Be it friendship, family, ethics, everything needs to be constantly drilled into our head. I was so constantly reminded that I had a grandfather in hospital, and most of the time, he's alone. As clear as it is, I am so aware that he'd be very happy to actually see his grandchildren for at least 10minutes a day.
Bigger problem? Me. I'd somehow still prioritize my games or my friends over him, knowing so well that neither of them will runaway, but my grandfather just might (he's in his 90s, don't know when he'll leave us). Day by day I torment myself with the harsh truth that I take my family for granted, day by day, I still do not learn. And I know so well, that the day he leaves, my eyes will roll.

So the biggest issue is here, why do we, or rather, Why do I not treasure what's ahead of me while it's still around. Why Am I always waiting to regret it when it's no longer there?
And I dare say, I'm definitely not the only one who's taking things for granted, as much as I can't wake myself up, maybe I can try to remind others to wake me up. Doesn't make sense no matter how I look at it, but the closest to me being forced to understand that fact, is by being reminded of what an asshole I've been for as long as I've known myself to be.

~KeongSterZ~ Success is not defined by obtaining everything you want, but by appreciating everything you have.~

2007-08-18T18:10:00.000+08:00

Random Crapz Again~:
Yesterday was Chris n Glenn's birthday. Sad to say, didn't do anything for Glenn, but was big for Chris. It was the gang's usual way of celebration "TOH AH TOH AH", and yes, war initiated, Keong learned the hard way that sake isn't so weak after all. And, I woke up with a fricking hangover. Think I'm not going on heavy drinking anytime soon again.

Topic Of The Day: What drives respect?

Constantly, I was reminded of this topic no matter where I go. When I do coaching, Shah's very unhappy with the fact that I treat them like my friends rather than the coach/student relationship. His stand is being a coach, you have to stretch that fact in and command respect with them. My stand is that I'm there to help them, and they're there to be helped. There's nothing wrong with being friends and I prefer to gain their respect.
Yesterday was unexpected yet not surprising as well. Beyond the midst of a birthday celebration, old grudges were being settled. I was not aware, but now I am. Now I'm talking specifically about Mr Leong JH, my buddy as usual. He reminded me yesterday of the way he does things, openly, without fear. Whatever he wants to say, he says it. Dun like you, you'll get it straight in the face from him.
One of the main reasons why I'm normally not afraid of being around him. He's straight to the point at least. If I'm not being liked, I believe I'll know. As simple as it gets, most people fail to achieve that. And I don't know why, but I respect him for his honesty. Because I myself cannot muster that courage to do it. He has constantly been one of the few people driving me in TP towards putting myself to good use. Many people know his temper is not being liked, but still, he is respected by many. The main reason, I'd say, is at least he doesn't put on airs, and whatever he says, he's backed by reasons. In other words, honest? Haha

For those who knew about thursday's war, sad case to that. Who would have known that Keong was so not solving the problem, but rather just looking for a peaceful resolution. That's how I look at it anyway, things will very likely not be solely at one side's fault. The other side has to play a part as well.
Well whatever the case was, thanks to all present, because they bothered to listen. thanks for respecting me, no matter how much bullshit I was talking, what mattered was you guys listened. Makes me feel bad for not listening when my mum bitches at me. *Shrugz*

Towards the end, I really feel that respect is to be earned. And the best line to describe it is, Do unto others what you want others to do unto you. You respect people, they'll respect you back. It's as simple as that.
And special message to you people out there, try not to make Fiona bo eng liao la. Already know she's so dumb so blur, she kena so many problem no one settle for her, still wanna give her somemore. Can help help lah. Dun mean she nice then let you all bully sia. No one sees the big picture, except a handful of us. We know what she's been doing for all of you.

~KeongSterZ~ Trust, Is To Be Earned. Same Goes With Respect~

2007-08-16T04:47:00.000+08:00

Random Stuffs:
Just started mass spamming emails. Well we all want things to happen, but haha who wants to do the work? Well at least I know there'll be people who appreciate it. So yes, as long as everyone had fun in the end, why not?

Topic of the day: Part 2 Of ranting, what makes a human.
Everyone should already have known that how we turn out to be is normally driven by our lifestyle, the way we live, or influences from other people. I come from a mid-range family, and I live a slack, simple life, not wanting anything but a simple, average, not too complicating life. My parents may compare often, but they don't give me much pressure over my plans and they give me full freedom to choose what I want.
I am Keong, the one everyone knows as the man who'll never grow up, and as far as I'm concerned, I've not yet. My parents have their doubts, but they leave me to decide my future. My friends question my indecisiveness, and they feel I'm taking life too easy. My own feelings? Well I don't know. That's not the point though =D.

That's the environment I live in, I'm easily influenced by friends. But I know what makes me what I am. I live on my own principles, and no one has changed my stand as far as I'm aware. That's the only thing left that defines my differences from my other fellow humans, and I shall remain as such to my very grave.
So make certain examples of people who live in poverty. Everyday they live in suffering, searching for food and clothing is their requirement for survival, and they'll do anything to survive, including stealing. Their mindset would be somewhat like the kind who'll strive hard and reach out high to break their poverty cycle.
Now I think of myself, I'm simplistic, I've followed the path that people have created for me till now. I've never chosen my primary/secondary school, my mum chose my polytechnic for me while i just randomly chose some course which I obviously regretted, and when I was forced to choose my own path, I stone. Quickly enough though, I was influenced to enter the Tennis coaching fraternity, which I never did like as well, but continued to remain in there.

What am I trying to emphasize here? Our paths are created through our own strong will, or influences. Because I have no will, I simply followed the path people paved for me. Others will have a clear picture of what they want, and they'll continue to strive towards it, unless "convinced" that they're taking the wrong path. That is the world of influence, and the regulations of the "paths", whether or not you stray from your path depends on your own determination.

Now, here comes the tricky part. What am I trying to say? I'm putting that similar situation into disliking people. I, for one, hate some kind of people the most. 1: Big mouths, 2: attention seekers, 3: People who think they know everything.
Other people will have their own different views, maybe they just hate handsome men, they hate lesbians, whatever. It's more or less on conflicting interests. When people of similar interests gather, they become friends. When people cannot settle their differences, they become enemies. That is the simple bottom line between friends and enemies.
When people of conflicting interests gather, but one side managed to convince the other, he changes the interest of the other to the same kind and they become friends. The change will affect the friends around him and conflicts will occur, and the cycle will carry on and on.

All I'm trying to say is, differences are common, and some people are extremely committed to what they feel, being stubborn on their point and refusing change. Accept it. They may not be wrong, you may not be right. If everybody takes a step back and gives in, what do you think will happen?

~KeongSterZ~ Humans are Complicating, because we make ourselves complicating, we do not understand ourselves sometimes either =)~

2007-08-15T02:11:00.000+08:00

Random Stuffs:
Joyce and Keong faced off with ex-VJcing Pauline and some tennis coach Eugene Lee, and was wiped out 2-6 2-6. Well, that coach was monkeying with me, and I totally donated the first 3 games away. Ask Joyce for details. Totally undesirable. Well ever since that, racket throwing has gone back to high frequencies and I guess I'll never forgive myself for stupid mistakes anymore.
To think I'd faceoff with the same Eugene guy with Jon this upcoming tuesday, and I'm putting heavy pressure on myself, seeing the number of times I've smacked my racket on the floor, I swear I'll never let him see the shit part of me on that day.
What a disgrace, and uncle Steven plans to put me in Grade C just cause I showed him 2 good matches against uncle Mike n Gareth? Spare me the bloody off forms, I need my form, and I don't know how to find it.

Topic Of The Day: You are what you are, a human. And generally, we're all the same. No one is special, we're all stupid, and we're all NOT working together.

Generally, I've thought of this deeply about what makes a human. In everybody's life, there has to be people in your life you define as "fucked up" or rather, people who're screwed. They come in many kinds. People who are unreasonable, full of shit, abusive, reckless, impatient, any bad point you can think of, whatever.
First things first, not to sound offensive, but these are all aspects of ourselves. We have our own level of any bad point listed above, it's only how we see it, and problem is, we normally don't. How many of you puts others above yourself? And how many of you puts yourself in other people's shoes in certain situations? For me, I do both, but when I do, it's normally too late =p.

Now think of yourself this way (I'm gonna phrase it like a game =p)
Picture yourself as a person with many bars, u know, like, percentage bars. Now put different aspects on them. Impatience, Impulsiveness, Recklessness, Tact, Temper. . . So far all the bad things I can think of so far with reference to a driver's aspect. Why a driver you ask? It's the best example, everyone thinks they're above average drivers, and on the road, people know I curse at drivers just as much as any other vulgur dude does. What the other cursers don't realize, is that they're making the same mistake that others are doing that caused them to start cursing in the first place.
Now, on with the bars, one is, you gotta be damn honest with yourself. You've got to know your own level to these aspects, and yes, I know the values change over different situations, it's like saying how I hate lamers more than bitches (just an example), and how you hate bitches more than lamers. BUT, just average it and gauge yourself.
In these bars, you see yourself as one with or without a high threshold for certain situations, whether or not you jump to conclusions, maybe seeing yourself as always right, but not exactly thinking clearly, and regretting later. These are possible aspects of simple arguments that can be easily resolved, but normally doesn't occur.

Referencing on them, you know yourself being such a person, and that you are probably just as bad as the other people you've always hated for certain reasons. Humankind needs just 1 thing, understanding for each other. Most of us are unable to accept bad stuffs from other people, unknowingly though, they're also doing the same. That's probably why there's still wars out there. And to be honest, I think only if aliens invade us would the planet see themselves working together. Beauty pageants and their "World Peace" When will that happen =p.

My summary just goes like this. Before you think about shooting people down verbally with your "He's such a jackass","She's such a bitch" Theory, spend some time thinking about yourself first, don't be quick to put people down, when you least expect it, you'll turn the tables on yourself. People will be even quicker to put you down with "He can bitch about it, but he's doing it himself, WTF!?" It's not about winning people's hearts to your side. It's about being truthful to yourself.

~KeongSterZ~ I Feel So Contradicting. I've so lost my cool, and now I'm telling people to stay cool. Hahaha~

2007-08-08T05:12:00.000+08:00

Topic Of The Day: Nothing in particular, I'm bored, and I've got boring things for bored people to do as well.

DISCLAIMER: Only for the bored.

Create your own Friend Test here

Started off by Gladys Chia, motivated by Jon, Tim, Yong And Wen To Start One. So Yeah I did, haha enjoy wasting your time on me. And uh, I don't care if you get all 20 wrong. I don't see a need to waste time understanding me well hahahahaha.

~KeongSterZ~ Enjoy~

2007-08-07T04:04:00.000+08:00

Topic of the day: Somehow I'm just the kind of person who always indirectly gets implicated into people's personal affairs.

Today was a seriously bad day, so much for integrity, blank mind. Very nice of him to just walk off and leave me there despite telling me what to do. Sibei standard sia. Think about it only makes my blood boil.
Bad move today too, lost my temper on the coaching team, ended up flinging my racket half court over to the fence. Ahhh damn, no power to control people. And 10 hours later I'm experiencing the stupid 4 classes again. Oh lord, save me. I am so gonna see myself cry later on.

Another simple thing I learned today that not many people know. Ever thought of the curiosity of human nature when we always say "Tell people don't do, all the more they want to do." Examples would be, put a letter and write confidential on it, everyone will read it. "Do Not Enter" and some will attempt to.
This theory is so true, it's actually the cause of what destroys a person. I admit that I have it too, but to a certain extent, I do have self-control. The most common would be a friend telling u "Eh tell u a secret, but dun tell anyone else." Everyone should know this, it'll just move on to more people with the same line. So towards the end, it won't be a secret anymore.

Now thinking of the above theories, what can man hide? I'll tell you what, murders, scams, anything else major, I'd suppose. Only problem is maybe the guilt will stay within that person forever.
Putting it into blunt terms, I've heard people telling me they've stolen before, done illegal stuffs and all, which could well land them in jail, so why did they tell me? It's really simple. The key word is "Attention"
That one word, is the mother of all exposures. Seriously, attention exposes yourself to your doings, whether good or bad, it's just to boost your "ratings" of doing different things from the rest, regardless of whether it's true or not.
Anything goes in attention seeking, it can go from bitching about others, to justifying your actions etc. But what I know is, when they talk about anything, they want people to agree with them, they want support so that they have the confidence that they are not wrong, and it'll also make them feel better anyway.

The above paragraph may not be easy to understand, so just picture this example. I argue with you, we both do not come to a solution and we both get on bad terms. I will bitch about you to many of my friends and make you sound so bad they'll agree with me, and I will feel better because my friends are on my side. You, on the other hand, will be doing the same things, and you will have your friends on your side.
Really much easier to understand that way. And sad to say, it's human nature, as much as I'm aware of it myself, I can only stop myself sometimes. But I cannot constantly remind myself anyway.
It's a good thing I'm pessimistic though, so when people disagree me, I reconsider. But I've ran into many stubborn pricks who'll never accept disagreement anyway, they'll just think I'm just not thinking straight or brainless or whatsoever. Like, ok, don't talk to me then =D.

What I seriously feel is, the aim to get attention is a hazardous route, and normally the path taken induces lots of unnecessary gossips and "discussions:. There is this line I'd like to share with everyone:

Great minds discuss Ideas
Average minds discuss events
Small minds discuss people

Makes a hell load of sense now, does it?

National day's coming, so, yeah, RO's tribute to Singapore soon.

~KeongSterZ~ I'm a man who gets stepped over easily, just keep trying, you might just see what I'm capable of~

2007-08-06T02:14:00.000+08:00

Topic Of The Day: Time hasn't been exactly on my side, but I perform better with last minute work.

Quick update, last tuesday was my first teaching session for a batch of pri 5 kids. And yes, they're so notorious, they're tougher to handle than normal tennis coaching. Class 2 called me Ahgua, Class 3 called me Ahbeng. Wow I feel so flattered. Goddammit. And my next lesson with them is this coming tuesday, god save me!!!

Kallang lineups are out, Jon and me will be due to play next tuesday 14th august at 8pm, while Joyce and me will be earlier, 12th august, sunday, 5pm. Stupid shit is, I'm facing off similar opponents. Men's doubles is Eugene Lee and Benjamin something, And mixed? Eugene Lee (AGAIN), and some Pauline who I had to find out is goddamn good. Hahaha, I'm excited already, on for some serious action! Getting thrashed doesn't matter, being happy does!

Nothing has changed in my lifestyle, as much as I feel I'm busy, I'm not. I may have work on all days except Thursdays, but they're like 2-4 hours at most, call that busy? I call that sian.

Here's a lil trick topic for you guys to think about next. Confidence.
The very basics of confidence would basically mean if you won't try, you never know right?
Confidence plays a huge part in our future, and technically, Keong doesn't posess much, or rather, it takes a long time to build up confidence in myself. I don't have confidence in myself till i see results. I dare to try, but I dare not screw up. Well it certainly took long for the people around me to build a certain level of confidence that still isn't high anyway, possibly cause I'm pessimistic by nature.
I had this talk some day, protect the person lah, haha. He has great confidence in himself, and believes he has a reputation which is very good. I was suprised on hearing him when he said he believes his name alone is worth hell alot of money.
Now that's being very proud, or in a certain aspect, cocky. And think again, it may even be possible, you can never value yourself, but if your name is known far and wide, and you are reputable, you are valued that much. And bosses favor such people. Men who show great confidence in themselves. So putting that into play, it's probably true that you gotta think yourself being up there before slowly climbing up. If you're easily contented like Mr Keong here, well, enjoy then =p.
I'm naturally lazy to plan, lazy to think, and I don't even wish to think what everyone else things. Slog now, enjoy later. My policy's simpler, just maintain my lifestyle, I can work till i grow old. As long as I'm done with my task, I'm outta here.

So what makes me what I am? Confident people. I noticed that people with confidence will "dominate" the weaker ones, aka tell them what to do with life, in their context "Kick some sense into the dumb idiots".
Remember my policy, gotta be in their footsteps to know what they're thinking. I've been on both side. People dominating me, and Me dominating people. Perfect example of people who stepped over me, but nevertheless, taught me well, JH, Sjai. And people I stepped over? Jon is really the best example. Maybe Tim too, u know. Times where I could act tough and think I know more than them, hahahaha. Well actually I do, Jon knows very little, and I thought I was bad =p.

My greatest admiration though, is I've realized, nothing keeps me anymore lively than friendship. Kenneth has shown me much. Being the person who's business-minded and seldom hangs around with big groups, he found happiness when he was surrounded by one, and he showed me the value of friendship. Like mankind always says, we take what we have for granted.

Oh an idea of what I'm doing now.

Server people are bored, GM is there, along with 4 other bored dudes, we all spent alot of time coordinating ourselves to do the Victory sign together. Hahaha

Bored GM who refuses to sleep just keeps transforming us into stupid creatures. Well I'm a harpy =.=

As much as people will call me childish, that's my childhood, and I think what's most important in life is being yourself. If you're living your life showing a mask to everyone, you're suffering inside everyday.

~KeongSterZ~ I'm not big, have little ambitions, small goals, small wishes, and I like my life.~

2007-07-28T23:36:00.000+08:00

Topic Of The Day: I'm actually Studying. . . . Wow.

2 hours war of emperium in ACRO, haha. It's gaming, yes, but it taught me much about humanity.

Look at the rest of the no-lifers along with me =DDDD

So much things I haven't do, haii, dunno why always lots of time but act no time.
Everyday, I sit infront of the computer, I deal with debates with people online, friends, strangers, etc. People are not afraid of arguing at full force online, and also, they have more time to think, and type it out. Whereas in reality, when a debate/argument occurs, people tend to be afraid of saying the wrong things, or else people don't think quick enough, and when they don't, it's a display of hesitation which probably results in losing his side of the debate, but is that really so? I feel that some people just take more time to put into words what they are trying to tell us.
Oh 987fm mentioned too, it's so much easier to type out the 3 words "I love you" than to say it out face to face with the person (I suddenly feel so wussy now hahahaha). The internet has shown much about the differences a human does online than face to face.
In games as well, I've known of people who can bitch all they want online, but when it comes to settling issues face to face, their faces actually turn white, and some people are actually afraid of people tracing the IP of others to know their addresses.

What does this say about us? Maybe we're just humans with the nature of not want to lose an argument, and of course, when situations go out of hand, fear comes into play. Impulse? Yeah, I believe every one of us has impulsiveness, probably the level of tolerance and calm thinking differs.
I see so many thunderstorms lately, both online and in reality. I always wonder why situations escalate to such an issue. If you ask me tho, ok I get mad at my dad as well, cause he has hearing difficulty and needs me repeating 5-6 times, makes me feel like an idiot.
To my amazement, I know of someone who never gets mad, externally, aka, she never ever displays a volcanic eruption or thunderstorm of any sort to anyone, or I've never heard of or seen. And from what people say, her patience, cheerful personality and understanding self are factors of what made her what she is. I wonder if I could get to her level of tolerance.

~KeongSterZ~ Preaching Session has Begun yet Again~

2007-07-27T00:46:00.000+08:00

Topic Of The Day: Self-Reflection Mode~

Wednesday was the final match of TP, which also marks, well, the end of representing tp tennis people like Jon, Aslam(About time, haha win so many matches for TP for 4 years), Alan. Don't know how these people feel, but when I was year 3, I felt like shit. Haha, maybe that's why I kept coming down and all. Well whatever they feel, it's probably part and parcel of life.
Sad to say, it also represented one part of me, the part of not moving on. Day by day I cling onto the TP tennis team, years pass, and this is the 6th. Now that their competition has ended, training has come to a halt.
When I graduated, I had army, the 2 years with them, ORDed, and didn't find a job, and finally the 3rd is over. No more excuses, and to be honest, I seriously have no plans. While everyone's moving on, the most I can see myself is I've established friendships, maintained my tennis skills, and saw many things, but that's about it, and I don't think it's useful towards my future anyways. So in blunt terms, I've wasted my time.

I think it's in the family blood though, my brother kinda failed his pilot test, and he's also doing what I'm doing, slacking about =p. Haha, well at least I have coaching, and $1000 a month's no small amount, it's not big either.
Even saying all these, I have no idea where I'm moving on next, being happy-go-lucky isn't so good after all.

~KeongSterZ~ Wonder If There'll Be A Day I'll Be Forced To Address My Problem~

2007-07-24T04:54:00.000+08:00

Topic Of The Day: Dunno What's Going On. Heart Hasn't Stopped Beating Since I Got Up From Bed =.=

Really bad day if you ask me. While driving to St Wilfreds today, I can actually start dreaming into outer space and totally missed the bendemeer exit. Ended up entering CTE(AMK), exit braddell and take the potong pasir route there. Shag.

At TP it didn't stop either, it was actually at it's worst, sit in canteen, heart keep beating profusely. Go watch ITE match, can feel it so well. Best of all, I dun even know why. Too much blood transferring all around my body.
Rain, sit in squash court, cannot calm myself down. Go play at high, also like that. Now at home, also like that. What the fuck la. Dying of excessive heart acceleration or something like what. I wonder what I ate yesterday, and I swear I didn't touch no liquor or drugs.

~KeongSterZ~ Maybe I'm just hell nervous for tomorrow =.= wtf~

2007-07-22T01:51:00.000+08:00

Topic Of The Day: It Wasn't A Complete Failure I Guess. . . .

Well, first things first, special thanks to the people that made my arrangement pretty much a success. Seems like everyone enjoyed themselves, and yeah, I planned it 2 weeks ago, think sui sui liao, kanna on the day itself so much taiji. I've always thanked army for training me well against panic attacks, so I've really learnt to keep cool and resolve the issue, although my solutions aren't always feasible. Let's not talk about the problems now anyway.

Apart from the 3 that dropped out awhile back, 1 that dropped out at the last minute, and the one that never got back to me, the remaining 12 was a hit anyway. It was screwed up anyhow, but thank god the transportation was solved pretty efficiently.
The 12 of us went down to the night safari today, special thanks to Liz to be able to get us Staff rate ($10 per person!!) and Maria for getting 4 free dudes in, so total entry paid was like $80 (WOW), ok no tram tho, walking was cool lah seriously, only problem was it was so friggin dark. Oh yeah, THANK GOD FOR NOT RAINING.
Haha what else can I say? Organizing is really a bad thing to do, clean the shit, deal with the shit, gather everyone, and seriously u need everyone's cooperation, but I'll gladly say, that won't be the last of it. I feel it's good training for me, and well as long as everyone's happy, why not man.

Anyway, on with reality. TP's winning streak was finally ended on the girls side, they lost to SP yesterday 2-3, and it was a suprise to me, well I never did take note of the SP girls at all in the first place, never knew they were strong haha.
Unexpected losses were the Eleanor/charmaine pair and Lizzie's singles. Well if you ask me, the SP girls were strong, but takeable. Maybe except for Cheryl, knowing how she always loses to Liz so much over her consistency, I'd already give her credit for pulling the score to 6-9 if you ask me, but then again, it's not for me to say.

So much for trying to come up with my own motivation for getting the girls to play well anyway, I had really hope I could have pumped Cheryl up with the Bishi Bashi thing, haha not cheap to lose to her man, but I guess that wasn't good enough. But hell, even if she loses tokens to me, I'll probably just drag her to one arcade someday and give her one hell of a fun time anyways.
At least for Pat's side, I see improvement, she's getting along well with the people, and well, she doesn't want to care about what the girls think of her anymore, so yeah, I don't see a need to do anything else for her.
So much for liz lah, i think she's the worst, hasn't changed one bit. I don't know what it takes to kick sense into her, screaming doesn't work the least bit, been doing so much for her, nothing seems to get into her head, I wonder if she even realizes it. How lah dey.
Better yet, day by day I get busier, getting called in for meetings here and there, it's really the signal that my time is running out. My 6 years Legacy TP will probably end this year. Dunno to feel happy cause I think I'm finally facing reality, or maybe I just want to cling on to my comfort zone. I guess not man.

Just feel a sense of sianzation that I would leave watching TP like that, I feel powerless, but haha, at least I tried I guess, should learn to keep within my own borders.

~KeongSterZ~ Is that what they mean when they say "School Life Is The Best"? ~

2007-07-18T00:47:00.000+08:00

Topic Of The Day: Just A Lil Update On My Upcoming Matches.

SGCC Tennis open is over, with me winning 2 and losing 2, scores are 9-2, 9-7, 7-9 and 3-9 respectively. Joyce actually went into quarters, haha I feel so like shit. She's up against Donovan next though, GG~

Next up will be the STA Intermediate tennis open, I'm playing Men's doubles with Mr Aaron Anthony Leong, and it seems we're scheduled on the 24th of July, Tuesday 8PM, looks like I gotta not show up for one more training.
Next up is the Pesta Sukans, sponsored by Prince, so we're using prince balls (Shag). Dates are between 11August to 26th August. Playing Men's doubles with Mr Jonatha Surya, and Mixed doubles with Miss Joyce Ho YIJIA (One House =D).

Haha, I sure spent alot on these matches, seriously. Men's doubles are like $75 now and Mixed $50. So ex, and yeah, play one match just to get our asses kicked, but well, if it doesn't kill you, it only makes you better. So why not man? Never play doubles with Samal too, He can totally forget that he has a doubles partner right behind him =.=

I'm really starting to see the world as reality knows it, the truth behind the scenes, and yeah well, anything else related. As much as it's reality though, I don't like it. People are teaching me that life is just so and that's the way to go, but I don't know. To me what's important is to live the way you want to, not live the way people want you to. As long as I'm happy with what I'm doing, does it matter? And people will put me down "Keong you won't go far with that mentality." Oh well, too bad for me, I didn't really think anywhere near of getting somewhere. As long as I get to keep the friendship, oh yeah, I don't wanna think of being the next common levelled asshole.

Here comes on the next MTV, haha, yes too much english if you ask me, Now it's CHINESE!

Jacky Wu And Joanna - Chuang Wai (Outside the Window)

~KeongSterZ~ No One's Killing Us. We're Killing Ourselves. And Most People Don't Care ~

2007-07-17T04:33:00.001+08:00

Topic Of The Day: We Don't Form Cliques, We Welcome Anyone, Except, Well, We Ain't Got The Means To Handle Everybody =D.

Here's the next MTV on the list.

RunAway Love

Well just a quick reminder of how lucky we are, no matter what kind of problems we're all facing, I believe there's always someone out there suffering more. We just have to take it in our stride, help whoever we can, and we'll pull through, hopefully.

~KeongSterZ~ We're All Humans In The End. If We Can't Fucking Get Along, At The Very Least, Leave Each Other Alone. Wasting The Earth's Resources Killing Each Other Ain't Feasible At All =.=~

2007-07-15T03:16:00.000+08:00

Topic Of The Day: Mankind's Greatest Hurdle.

When man fights against man, it takes a greater threat to unite them together. Picture this. .

1) You're in sec skewl, in your class, you're alone.
2) You get a few friends who share interests, and basically dislike others that don't share them.
3) Some other class looks down on your class, your class basically unites to fight them.
4) Some other skewl basically insulted yours, saying that school creates only idiots, your school hears of it, and all of them unite against the other school.
5) You're in poly, you basically enter situations 2-3. Now JC and poly students are always arguing about which is better, poly always says JC students are spoonfed and will suffer when brought to the outside world. JC students will say poly dudes are less intelligent and thus enter poly (Since it's harder to enter JC), the 2 different students fight a war that will never end.
6) Now you're in the army, defending your nation. Imagine country 1 argue with our country, not happy, fight war. Singapore basically unites to fight against that nation.
7) The earth is being invaded by aliens, before that every country's fighting wars here and there, internal conflicts, civil wars, nation conflicts etc, and they put aside everything, and unite to fight against the aliens. (Independance day hahaha)

8) Need I Say More? =D

All I'm saying is, it doesn't take huge numbers to prove that you're right. Stay neutral, listen to both sides, very soon, you'll see the root of the problem, but as usual, it always takes 2 hands to clap. One side needs to start the fire, the other side will heat things up further.

I've always thought about this, imagine a situation where someone was dying. He's being rushed to hospital by closed ones, but the worst happens. He/She dies. One common situation that'll happen is they'll just blame the doctor. Ever thought why it happens? Is it really the doctor's fault that he died? It is the doctor's duty to save lives, but if he fails, can we really blame them?
It's just another quick conclusion that man easily directs blame over to other people regardless of the situation, they do not realize this, but yes, they blame others almost too easily. Not to say that everyone's like that, but yes, there's no denying that it is a fact.

In The Army:
Case Study: CO Trips over a banana skin while just walking around for fun, goes back with a bump on the ass and starts bitching about the camp and orders a resolve.
OC To CSM: Who the FUCK THrow the fucking banana skin on the floor? I WANT U TO GO AND FIND OUT
CSM to Sergeants: You better fucking find out who threw the skin on the floor before I skin you alive.
Sergeants to Men: Fucking Cheebye Which Jackass Happily go throw skin on floor let CO Trip? You better own up before I fucking confine all your sorry asses in camp!
Men: WTF? Dunno leh, oei own up leh, wahlao, not me la. WTF La suey sia.

Typical =.=, ever wonder of the possibility that the OC threw it himself? =D

~KeongSterZ~ Always Try To Find Fault In Yourself First. Man Blames Anyone Else Almost Too Easily For Any Reason.

2007-07-14T03:02:00.000+08:00

Topic of the day: Towards the end, We're all Judgmental people.

Most of the people already probably know that I'm getting involved in issues that I shouldn't really poke my nose into. Even if I know that well enough myself, I really don't wish to see anymore nonsense. Not while I'm still around, at least. I feel it's like I'm just taking the "Dun care lah, whatever happens in the end is none of my business" Path which I never did like.
So I'm doing what my heart tells me to do. Be a fucking busybody, poke into business I'm not involved in. At what cost? I don't know, really. Now everything seems fine, but definitely one way or another, things will not work out the way I planned it to be, one is probably cause I understand the human mindset, two? Because I know that no matter how much we say we aren't stubborn, we are in our own ways.
I'm very open to feedback about myself, anything that I feel can improve me, basically anything, including insults about me. But I know that once people doubt my psychological knowledge, my inner mindset would go "Yeah right, act like you know everything", and today, I decided to shoot that very line to myself. Technically, I'm right, but logically, I'm just judging from my instincts. Instincts to me may play a major part in major decisions, but it's like buying 4D, you never know man.

There was something about this person, which at the moment i shall not name. Currently, that fellow's going through somehow the same situation as what went through with Pat, and it seems, I have framed Pat once, and is now making up for it, and it seems for this very next person, the same situation is so about to occur.
I seriously doubt this person to the point that I regard that person as Dangerous, but nonetheless, stay friendly. I'm extra wary with that fellow presence, and my mind's full of doubt about em, until I found people who had faith in em.
Initially I was on maximum "WTF" mode. But then again I thought, Can I be wrong again? Do I really have to listen to the other side of the story to actually understand the situation again? What is actually believable, is there a 100% correct to everything? Until then, till my mind is cleared of this doubt, I shall not move. Man are cunning and dangerous by nature.
But if you ask me, what I really liked about going through really bad situations, is you'll surely find true friends out of it. People who have so much faith in you they'd pull you through it.

If you ask me anyway, I'm probably bored. I really needed something to fight for. Something to seriously think about. Haven't really found a good reason for living, and my life's really sad if you ask me, because my true friends, have all moved on with life, *scratches head*. My turn's coming soon, just that it hasn't come, want an idea of what I'm doing apart from playing tennis, getting involved in stupid politics and dealing with people's problems, next in line is Dota, and RO. Hahaha

Well haha, childish shit, that's Mel, Mana, Divine, Divine fren and me being blocked by the pillar, that's RO, my life for the past. . . . 7 years I'd say.

*STORYTELLING HAS BEGUN, PLEASE READ ON ONLY IF BORED*
Really brings back the times when I first played RO alpha during O levels (AGE 16!). I'd sleep after dinner (7pm), and wakeup 2-3am just cause the server is the least congested at that time to level up, and while I'm sitting down resting hp, I'll use that time to study, hahaha. Until 6am then go skewl take O level =D. How the hell did I get 20 for L1R5? Duno =.=
Then korean beta came out where they only allowed koreans (those bloody cheapos), but we didn't give up, haha I broke into the server with jz, apple, yin, roy and a few others, and we were in there trying so hard not to talk (Everyone's typing korean, we're the only ones typing alphabets =.=)
We shifted quite a few servers, CRO, ERO, MRO, and the private servers, ROELITE, and now I'm in ACRO, so well, I retrained like alot of times I'd say.

Ever heard the story that when IRC/ICQ came out? People said, Don't meet up with people online, you never know if they're lying. Well I'm one of those who didn't care. Over the days, I met up with people over SG, and mainly ROelite, and I did learn something:
People who think it's childish to play those kinda games we play feel that we're people escaping from reality and enjoys a world of fantasy WHILE at the same time, people like us who play these kind of games extremely hate the reality of the world, how the people function, and all the "Zi Xiang Chan Sha" Occurs, or so would be rephrased as "Why humans killing their own kind?" hahahaha

It isn't all about games yah, hahaha. Well I guess we all just have our own interests.

~KeongSterZ~ I Know That Many People Will Hate Me For Doing The Unnecessary, Too Bad I Just Can't Sit Around Doing Nothing~

2007-07-11T00:15:00.000+08:00

Topic Of The Day: Haha My Best Game Yet Huh.

My first of the tennis open has began, I won my first match against the lousiest in my grp with a score of 9-7, finishing off with a very nice smash that nearly flew over the fence. And, I lost my 2nd match against the best in the grp with a score of 7-9, finishing off with a smash that just flew off the court so bad I just decided to whine and bitch about it. Exact opposites, what the hell.

So it's one win, one loss, really dragged it long, and hell, everyone said that was the best they saw of me. Obviously they didn't see me play donovan, I think i just used the same strategy, blast every shot =.=
At the same time i ran into a few NYP dudes, damn, it's another few irritating style players whose strokes are not fantastic but still irritating nonetheless. I just hope Samal or Aslam kena these kind of people, should be easy wipeout, and I'm due to play him on thursday, shag. Least I don't have to go down Wed anymore.

Anyone told you that when you start earning money, you'll start having goals for so many things until you probably need to spend em all? I've deposited $600 today, and realized i spent $280 on Muay thai, $76 on Ikea items, $92 soon on Muay thai Equipment, and prolly have to come out another $144 for the next tennis open, considering I'm playing 2 doubles. Shaggggg.

Haha. On to the next song.

Ne-Yo. Because Of You

Song Lyrics, Currently What I'm Learning
Want to but I can't help it
I love the way you feel
just kinda stuck between my fantasy and what is real
I needed when I want it
I want it when I don't
tell myself I stop every day
knowing that I won't

I got a problem and I don't know what to do about it
even If I did I don't know If I would quit but I doubt it I’m
taking by the thought of it
And I know this much is true

[chorus]
baby you have become my addiction
I’m so strung out on you
I can barely move
but I like it
and it's all because of you
all because of you
and it's all because of you
all because of you
and it's all because of you
all because of you
and it's all because of you
never get enough
she’s the sweetest drugs
think of it every second
I can get nothing done
only concern is the next time I’m gon get me some
know I should stay away from
cause its no good for me
I try and try but my obsession wont let me leave

~KeongSterZ~ When Man Refuses To Admit Their Mistakes, They Form A Disagreement, When More And More Disagreements Form, Extremity Is Created, And When Extremity Is Created, Keong Was Born =.=~

2007-07-08T23:21:00.000+08:00

Topic Of The Day: It's already July, we're talking about Keong slacking off for 5 months since he ORDed.

Yesterday was the first day Keong got involved in Muay Thai lessons with Mag. Haha it was damn cool seriously, and also damn torturing. The starting was major stretching, then 10 laps of jogging with dumbells(Omg my hands hurt), pushups, tire Jumping, stance learning, and on to ass kicking. Haha, stupid legs of mine couldn't stretch far enough, so coach Iskandar decided to make me be the next Kenneth who just got kicked out from the tennis team. Next time you see me around don't be suprised if I do a split-leg volley =p.

So yeah a short summary of Muay thai, just like kickboxing, so I have a lil experience. Basically, jab, punch, uppercut, side punch, kick, high kick Hahaha, damn I really need to flexbilize my legs. Can't stretch very high up, so can't kick very high. But yeah, Muay Thai utilizes stamina for both defence and attacking. Tough to learn, but haha gonna be really neat if I do this right.

So later in the day, we'll be talking about the polites, TP's yearly awaited event has arrived, and as usual, I'll be looking at the old dudes from all over. Donovan? Aloysius? Haha, and we'll see how much they've improved.
My own tennis open is starting soon too. Haha and I thought i had Rachelle for company, damn she's like bogged down with training and matches that she won't be showing up for any. Oh wells. Haha mine is on tuesday, wed and thurs anyway.
After that hopefully the kallang intermediate will produce their lineups. I'm double-sing with aaron Leong for this tourney and well, i hope we go far. Seriously.

First time I'm kinda feeling rich, having like $250 a week is a pretty huge sum at this current point of time. Just that I needa go further, if not I'm not planning for my future already. The first of my $400 savings were quickly wiped out tho, the Muay Thai costs $280 bucks. And the equipment will cost $92, and hopefully not anymore incurred.

I'm going to face my first major challenge soon. It's reality facing and my first move to reality in the business world. I never really wanted to be involved in such a situation but hell, I've been too reliant, let's just hope this will be my first as well as my last. God bless me.

So here it is, my next song introduction. Omarion's Ice box. I'm beginning to just love 987FM, but in another one or two weeks time, I'm going back to YES93.3, lost touch with the chinese songs already, and seriously, chinese love songs are the best, especially the duets.

OMARION - ICE BOX

~KeongSterZ~ True friends are mostly sitting around acting like they know nothing till the worst situations occur~ or Is It really so?~

2007-07-06T23:58:00.000+08:00

Topic Of The Day: Really busy day. . .

Macdonalds has become my next best friend, waking up late and having no time to deal with my meals has really change things alot. Macs has become my best friend because they're everywhere and it costs just $2 to get a double cheeseburger or mc-chicken, both not being too filling, but still fills your stomach, plus they have my faved jasmine green tea anyway. All it takes is a $2, step in there, order a burger and u can eat and drive! Then go coaching hahahaha.

Today was simple but well, mad. Mag drove, I drove, and i followed her trying to find some chicken rice place and probably just ended up getting lost all over toa payoh, and I finally just brought her to pow sing chicken rice at gardens. $24 sia, but it's alright if u ask me.
Then coaching for Shah's B Division team lor, after that still coach Gabriel, after the news of his sis getting kicked and me getting hit hard on that, I was heavily motivated not to let his brother end up in the same state, so I'm gonna double up my efforts, and hopefully see some results.
After that I immediately went over to boat quay to meet JH n gang, his birthday celebration along with fayth. How did I handle my dinner? MACS! Bought dbl cheeseburger at bedok int, take MRT go raffles place, buy Mc-chicken burger + Green tea there and chiong to Studio 6, the KTV pub. Well too bad I had to leave early, but I got a taste of the infamous Sake/Chivas Combo pirated version, aka Sake/Johnny Walker. Budget la bopian. But haha the bloody effect really kicks in damn bloody late. I took like 7-8 shots, not high at all, now that I'm home, i finally felt it.
For the exact time, I took the 8 shots respectively from 9-11pm. Now it's 12:06 and I just started feeling it =.=

Anyway it's been too long since i hung around with them, must say I'm a lil nua and weird being in a KTV pub, and since they all sing chinese songs while I'm really researching more on the english dept, it's a lil weird not knowing the songs. I really should hang around with them more, and I dunno why I have this urge to go clubbing, infection liao . . . Shag

Anyway, Haha the next song to introduce. Sean Kingston's Beautiful Girls

I'm so going to learn how to sing this, can't get his voice tho. =D

~KeongSterZ~ Live The Life, Liquor Does 3 advantages for me. 1: Blood flow, 2: Opens up my conscience, 3: Helps me sleep~

2007-07-06T03:11:00.000+08:00

Topic Of The Day: Just To Lift The Stupid Words Off The Blog To Make It A Lil More Flashy. Ladies N Gentlemen, My Fav Song, =D

Linkin Park Lyrics

~KeongSTer~ WO ZHUO LE SHE MO!~!~!

2007-07-06T02:22:00.000+08:00

Topic Of The Day: Time Is Seriously Against Me, And Then Again, What The FUCK Am I Doing And Why Am I Fucking Bothering?

First busy week has begun, well not so busy still, but yeah. coaching on odd days, wednesday morning went to do this acting discipline master thingy in Zhonghua Primary on wednesday morning, haha seriously getting paid to just scream at the kids. And later on two more coachings to deal with. Busy busy busy.

Time is seriously running out for the tennis team, the dudes have their Polite games coming right up, and the guys are like not too bad, looking good with the new dudes and the old ones as well along with Samal.
The Girls? They're fucked, bigtime. I seriously wonder if they can even get 3rd placing. So much for war efforts, I'm not making any results, and things just get worse by the minute, out of the 11 in the main team, I already see 5 disoriented players who have lost their motivational spirit to play, minusing them off, maybe the remaining 6 can do something about it.
Really makes me wonder how it turned out this way, back in my year we all shared the common goal to raise TP's rank in the tennis fraternity, now I see nothing but everyone's own personal reason for playing, the spirit's just not there anymore. God save them, just pray their opponents fall sick, take MC, break leg, racket spoil, strings dead, whatever =.=, so long as it works out in the end.

Really running out of time, at this rate of additional work I've been put into, I'd really have to leave TP watching them probably blaming each other for losses (Touch wood), well seriously won't have problems if they win it all. God really knows, I don't.

Really just so want to try organizing a whole team outing, but I'd assume it'd probably be another fish n co style type. Makan n everybody fuck off kind of thing. It's probably just time for me to give up trying and deal with my own problems for once.

~KeongSterZ~ If I Was A Full-Fledged Psychologist Who's Involved In Counselling, I Think I'd Really Just Die Young~

2007-06-30T02:08:00.000+08:00

Topic Of The Day: Time Sets Everything In Motion. As Much As I'd Like To Slack On, I Suppose It's Time.

Today was one hell of a day, and I suppose it would be my last week of major slacking, hahaha. Somehow the coaching for Shah turned out okay and he decided to hire me as assistant coach to coach the B division on wednesdays and fridays, so well I've got 2 more lessons to deal with. Really wished I had a car.

Seldom got the car right? Finally got it today, bloody ride mania, morning send dad, go home sleep again. 1Pm coach Gab, 3+ go home shower then go kallang submit Intermediate form, fucking STA relocated to Jalan Besar, took me on a wild goose chase but I found it nonetheless, and managed to submit the goddamn form. I'm taking on doubles with Aaron this time round, hopefully no stupid fuckups.
After that was pick dad up from work at ubi, hell of a traffic jam, got home, met up with pat and moved on to Bishan to get Maria. And finally, night safari, where it fucking rained anyway so whatever. Decided to just get somewhere n slack, Suntec it was. Arcaded mostly with the driving games. And the driving wasn't over.
Sent pat home, went to Airport to get Liz n Fiona, Sent Fiona home, then went Gardenz chomp chomp jiak tau huey. And finally drop Maria @ workplace, send liz home, and gg home, woooo. Oh yeah, I blew my fucking car fuse again. I think I should stop blasting music in my car.

That's the last of em anyway, the aim today was just to give the stressed the required location and time to relax, all the time we were just blasting music and doing fun stuffs, takes the stress factor off them. Now they're off to face their own problems and deal with it. Come next month, It'll be time to finally face off my own, and maybe I might just find a reason to live for.
July will be one hell of a month, many people's birthdays fall on this month. I think I'm gonna start calling Lynda and make her really busy, I've got like ten people in my handphone, haha when did i actually start caring sia.

~KeongSterZ~ Got More Than I Deserved, Throwing Them Back At The World. I Rather Face Hardship, It's The Only Way I Can Maintain My Maturity.~

2007-06-27T04:45:00.000+08:00

Topic Of The Day: They Always Say No Matter How Good You Are At Something, There's Always Someone Better Out There.

For the first time in my friendship circle, I have my very first friend who encouraged me to carry on slacking. What the fuck i tell you. But no, she wasn't lying hahahaha.
I only had a nice ten minute talk with her, and I found out she's older than me, she's slacked much more than me, but most importantly, she found what she wanted to do, and she's working onto it. Lawyer sia, so all I can currently say is, You go girl =D.

Obviously I haven't found what I wanted, so I'm beginning to search.
And for some reason, I dunno why Shah ask me to cover up for him for his B division and I so readily agreed, like kinda it's back to the "Keong, you're not gonna chicken out anymore, take any challenges that comes to you." And at that very same time, I do realize it's the same concept that keeps getting me into trouble.
So I'm dealing withAnd a school team in another 11 hours time, not sure at all what to do even though I've been tagging along the TP team, but we'll see how I fare later on.

It never stops feeling weird that I'm getting myself so involved with other people's problems but never seem to be dealing with my own. That's kinda like a direct path to self-destruction or something like that. Maybe they might do something nice to me in the near future, but well, it's always better not to expect anything in return. Man cannot be so calculative, which reminds me of fucking Kenneth who got knocked out of the team today and has never ever paid me for drinks that I always help him buy. Fucking Dog....

And you know, dealing with cash, I've realized, me getting $600 monthly now, is pretty much alright. If I don't hang around often, I can save $300 a month. And if I DO hang around often, I'd wind up saving none hahaha. $600 is my average expenditure without controlling. Crazy sia.
I never did really consider my future, but I do realize i'm so closely getting involved more and more into sales. Afterall, coaching is about advertising yourself, but I do admit I've totally fucked the "Keong must look presentable" approach and decided to just keep my back hair long. I did tell myself that I shall stop spending on things that I want (PSP, PS3, Digicam) And instead invest in my Dressing. Shoes? Shirts? Haha, Keong buying a fucking tie and wearing it? WOW! Keong wearing Some branded Watch? o_0 Not anytime soon, but yeah, I'm probably investing in my presentability somehow, which contradicts my previous line, I guess I'm only applying to my hair Hahahahahaha

Keong has never felt so "Ai Mei" Before. Maybe hang around with Elizabeth too much, but hahaha, I feel it is a necessary investment. Now i just need someone to psycho me to wear contacts, haha I have a kind of phobia with contacts, never liked the idea of putting something in my eye. I've always feared since young of someone poking into my eyes, FUCK!!!

~KeongSterZ~ Believe in me, because I am the one who goes all out to help people, but never does anything for himself. . . . That's Stupidity~

2007-06-20T13:58:00.000+08:00

Topic Of The Day: Bloggin Ain't exactly What I wanna do, because it does feel like I'm just writing (Typing) out how I've been wasting my life away. Haha, to some people.

Life was never easy to begin with, and because i made it too easy in the past, now I'm taking the shit, well, I just thought since my parents could afford me not supporting them for awhile, I could jump around and really see what I wanted to do out there.
As much as many people say I'm going out wasting my time out there, I'm not. Day by day I run around, learn new things, try new things, go for job interviews once in awhile just to learn their daily scope, and I really wonder, they say the job scope is like this, but as a matter of fact, when you're hired, it's totally different? hahaha

So far I've been coaching, reading, learning tennis racket stringing, taking up additional courses, etc. Yes Keong, Far too late, hahaha, I know. I just feel, ok lah despise me for being slow, as long as I know what I'm doing.

As time gradually passed, I slowly learnt of my own undoings, I found more of my bads, and yes, I'm really happy. Haha for now I've found 2, I'm very good at over-EXAGGERATING and very quick at jumping to conclusions.
I've entered countless conflicts, I've dealt with problems that people had, I've just not been able to deal with my own. But for now, I'm dealing with something for the first time, and that's battling the conflict that originated from me, and it just manifested to a higher density.
Things were not as bad as it seemed to me, but I made it seem that way, and I've convinced everyone it's that way, now I have to re convince these already convinced people that it is not as such. And it sure is easy to start trouble, but hard to end it.

Should I feel fucked up? haha I don't know, somehow I feel I'm kinda proud of myself for admitting my mistake and standing up against the massive odds, now I'm just fighting against time to settle this dispute. Special thanks to the supporters, cause I'll never be able to fight this alone, and yes, haha I'll need more!!!

~KeongSterZ~ Mai exaggerate liao lah, Mei You Na Me Jialat Lar~

2007-06-10T10:16:00.000+08:00

Topic Of The Day: Gradually See Myself Getting Somewhere, As The Next Point Approaches, I see Conflicting Roads, How?

My mom had a talk with me regarding job seeking the other day. She talked about the few interviews I went to. Well she basically knew everything that happened, the ones that didn't get back to me, the ones that rejected me and the ones that took me in but I refused. She was aware of my situation, where I had a diploma and not much experience to talk about, so basically there wasn't much for me to expect.
Well to cut it short, she basically meant I just needed to just get experience first, money doesn't matter, because after you get experience, then people will pay more for you. Haha. That really isn't my problem actually, it's the average market out there is like $60-80 a day for 6-9 hours, Problem is I'm getting $50 for like an hour for coaching, so it always looks like it's not worth it to go full time for that kinda pay and scrap my coaching. Of course I'm concurrently also working on scrapping that mentality because I do not have much to begin with.
And the job search saga continues.

I've spent more of my life working on means to improve my resume, my first step was to go out and see what the working society was like, the various titles, what kind of people was required the most, and lastly, what makes me curious and interested.
In the meantime, I've been searching for courses to enrol in, mainly on the tennis side, to technically improve my coaching standards, hopefully. Today while coaching still got this person ask me to coach her daughters, siao liao larrrr.

Things have gone more complicated on my side as well, it seems being under people isn't always a good thing after all, when 2 or more of these people start conflicting, I'm in deep shit. I'm forced to take sides at the end, and that's when my hell begins.

~KeongSterZ~ I See A Future Now, And It Ain't Gonna Be Smooth~

2007-06-07T00:15:00.000+08:00

Topic of the day: A Fruitful, Weird, and full of shit day. It was really cool.

The dudes are having their tests, so I was basically totally leaving them alone, but it seems even without me interfering, they just get occupied with their same routine, just without Keong. Well whatever, as long as I didn't have a part in their interference.

The days without them was totally spent at home, Classifieds in the morning, I even started going to st701 haha. Have this www.nineo.com thing. Hahaha, best of all, Gala sports hiring tennis stringers sia hahaha powerpack. And well, I can spend the whole day playing granado espada, I'm back to RO as well =D, and heroes 3. Haha
Oh yeah, I went to macdonalds to irritate maria jez cause i had to send my mum to club. End up go there find them play game =.=

Ok today, more importantly. Today was this orientation of this event company with Venturist Alliance. Supposed to follow some employee out and watch him work. I ended up being situated at TAMPINES, go to bugis just to go back to tampines central. I thought they had some area at the interchange, noooooo. They were the charity dudes going around asking people to donate money for fundraising hahahaha.
Well those were the kind of people that i didn't really like due to the talking, normally when they approach me i'd just go "Ok, how much?" If enuff, i pay, no $, haha no $$$ =D.
Well despite the job, I decided to follow them and experience what it feels like, seeing as it's MY area, I was kinda worried I'd run into people, haha only ran into Jarred from 11:30 to 6:30. Seriously it was alot of fun, you see people's kind side, and u see the evil side, towards the end, it was lots of fun listening to the bullshit people can come up with just to not donate. Haha it's really weird cause U can just say "Sorry dowan to donate" or "sorry no $" veri fast. They come up with "NO TIME!!" "MADAM U DON'T NEED TIME, U JUST NEED TO GIVE ME MONEY" hahaha. Ok, not that.
Many more lame excuses that I seriously kept laughing at.

That was all, at night went to H.I.G.H to visit, O2jam abit, went astons with the dudes, then haha, did weird stuff. Go see people's house. Got this dude stay at east coast there, house like fucking Caesar's palace, haha Intro by weiwen. Very nice indeed, 4 bungalows big, as assumed by jon. Then since Ele's place was just opposite, they decided to go visit it too.
My first time sia, narbeh, I see the number of cars until pengz, dowan see liao, shaggy sia. every one week can choose one car on a particular day n drive. Nuts man. Just give me one man~ I'm not choosy, the lousiest will do, hahahahahaha.

~KeongSterZ~ Fruitful day, hahahah. I love the donation guys, very fun =D~

2007-06-01T23:48:00.000+08:00

Topic of the day: Today Was Good, I Guess.

After so long, finally go out with the senior girls. Dajie finally found time out along with weiling, even tho mag couldn't make it (What's new), we still ended up meeting up, I met up with her yesterday anyway.

Everyday I have the same discussions, study or work, even while june has ended and i can no longer apply to SIM, the same topic still sparks. I guess that's all there is to talk about whenever they see the slacker's face.
And I actually typed something about it but this laptop screwed it up, so whatever, I shall just do the bottomline, as much as I'm failing, I'll still just keep trying anyway, there's nothing else for me to do, and can't slack on forever =D.

Dajie and Weiling came over to my house to watch Just Follow Law. Fucking funny movie la, Fann Wong and Gurmit Singh. Sibei Zai sia. I'm really impressed. Singaporean movies, as usual, was always aiming at reality, and especially at singapore. Nothing new, but true, nonetheless. I really liked that Muthu in the show, he's really goddamn funny sia.

After that was my first day to the IT show, it was nice dropping by and visiting Weihan, hahahaha. Stupid bugger working at starhub, getting owned by the customers as usual. It was pretty small compared with the last time though, some stores weren't there. I don't remember MSI being there, The graphics cards dudes weren't there too, not much of gaming hardcores there this time round.
Samsung was weird too, they showed up without laptops. . I think selling too much is it? what the hell. But ok la I guess, It's not so interesting this time round, but I'd figure if i got money I'd buy a samsung Digicam. Samsung rules~

~KeongSterZ~ What's Life Without A Goal?~

2007-05-29T01:20:00.000+08:00

Topic Of the day: Random Updates, Hell. I've got nothing particular to say.

Job seeking really gets tiring by the day. Call and call, resumes here and there, none of them actually gets back to me. I tried calling back one of the same companies, all they said was "We don't leave anyone out, and we only call back those selected, so you're not one of them".
Fuck, whatever, this is something that we can never give up on. Just give up living meh. I think i'll just have to compromise and go for jobs not to my liking, after i try another few more weeks.

Tennis coaching has started to become a problem, I don't feel I'm good. I look at many mistakes but I always overlook the fricking basics. That's just so Keong, *sigh*

I've been re-accessing my friendship circle again, and duh, I'm around with Jon so much until I totally neglected everyone else. When I think of JH or FB, I think of the two who put in the most effort to bring me to what I am now. And at that same point of time, somehow I feel I have a barrier with both of them.
I don't stick around FB often these days, and even if I do, they're pretty casual. I've lost it, he'd rather hang around with other people than me, and that says alot. That ain't all, I'm actually unhappy with him. Whatever the hell's going on, I don't know.
I don't feel like bugging jh these days either. It's like each time I find him it's help I seek, it feels really stupid. So stupid that I think I need to do something on my own for now, even if it means fucking up stupidly.

My mum just went on a rage yesterday too, totally unhappy that I wasn't home for an entire day and convinced that I never bothered to find a job, which I totally proved wrong, well. It's ended anyway, so we're at peace temporarily again.

Just today I visited Jon's grandmother and grandfather, as well as his aunt. Feels damn weird sitting in a hotel room watching 4 indos speaking some alien language, but haha, it was a hearty chat, and yeah, It showed me much about family that I don't have in mine.
Dad went in to hospital today as well, apparently he couldn't walk, so he's staying in there now after I delivered him his stay-over equipment, whatever it is, I hope he gets out of there soon. I think it'd only last 2 days at most.

While in hospital, I saw this girl, well, she wasn't attractive, not pretty, not really one anyone would talk about, but somehow, she attracted me, and she got me thinking bout her. By now I could already figure out the kind of girls I like, so I wasn't really suprised, but hell, first minute see her took a liking to her.
Problem is, I don't know her, she don't know me, and seriously, I doubt I'll see her ever again, and I guess I'd forget what she looks like in another 2 days time, so I guess I've officially wasted another chance again. No fate, No fate~

~KeongSterZ~ Life, Always about the challenges, it takes courage and effort to get something you want, and I don't have either~

2007-05-22T01:56:00.000+08:00

Topic of the day: Bad day it was. Really Crappy

Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to introduce the bloody dog that's so adorable but costed everyone so much bloody money. May I Present, Jon's Dog, BAMBI zZzZz

Yes, this bloody dog Bit off my wallet and left it in half today. Thank god it didn't chew my money and my fricking cards. Last i knew she bit off one of my slippers as well. She bites anything she sees, what the hell!!!

~KeongSterZ~ Such An Expensive Dog, Such Expensive Taste Too. ZZzzZz

2007-05-20T19:58:00.000+08:00

Topic Of The Day: Giving Up Was Always The Easiest Option Out Of Everything. Too bad I've used my all my giveup tokens.

I've found a new job for myself. It seems in my daily routine of job-search, I've not just found jobs for myself, but for others as well. As to really finding one, haha all I've been through so far was just interviews at most, no one's really got back to me yet. Of course I don't think I should be expecting much, at least I'm still getting some cash weekly.

Anyway, I really wonder if I should do full time and stop my coaching on the weekdays, it might be drastic for changes to my lifestyle, but I guess that's the norm right? Haha get a full time job and all, unless I'm like Sjai, dealing with students all day and taking in a huge amount of money monthly. Haha currently if I look at my current coaching, let's say I'm taking in like $600 monthly.
Putting that aside, the best satisfaction was this week, now I feel like have alot of money, but haha, I don't actually, I haven't repaid my debts to the people I borrowed money from, so yeah, got a lil bit of extra money to lose to mahjong too =p.

Who would have known too, months ago I told myself that I couldn't runaway anymore, cause I couldn't afford to. I've been escaping reality far too long, so whatever challenges that came by, I took it without consideration. Similarly to this saturday, Sjai had reservist, so he asked me to takeover his lesson for the PDPs. I accepted his request on tuesday and regretted it till saturday.
I would say it was bad, but at least the lesson was still carried on, my top priority. I don't care how they think of me, I only care I'm not destroying his reputation. It's like what JH told me "I Ask u to work cause I believe u can do it, i won't anyhow ask some chapalang cockster to work when I know that fucker will just slack, it will ruin my reputation also leh."
Similarly, I felt the same with Sjai's situation, so I was pretty glad I didn't screw up much. Sigh of relief + sense of satisfaction. Ordeal over =p.

Today was just exceptionally boring, haha, well It's a stay-home sunday, and I haven't stayed home for a whole day for months now. It a sense of satisfaction + sense of sianzation. Haha, it just means the poly dudes are starting to have their work clogged up so much I can't be relying on them for company now. At least I'm dealing with it by still job-searching and all. Hope I find something that interests me.

~KeongSterZ~ I'm happy with one true friend, than a hundred friends~

2007-05-17T00:55:00.000+08:00

Topic of the day: Mysteries, Pathways, Problems, So many of em.

Between my path of study and work, I planned to consult many people, but hell, the 3 I trusted the most, My Mum, JH, and Shan, gave me the same answer after I gave them a full explanation on my situation. Haha, Work. There's really nothing more to be said. And to be honest, I totally agree with them.

Psychology was just an interest that was in me when I started being a loner at the age of 13. I studied people because I was curious why people behave, display behavior as such on certain situations. And now, I could understand most of the time what they're thinking, mainly because I have done many of those myself. Like in Dota "Only the maphackers know who the maphackers are". Similarly in here, Gotta experience it yourself to know what others are thinking.

Going further into the study factor, I've received questions like "Will you be using your degree in the end?" "Are you sure there's a market for it?" "Are you sure you want to be a psychologist to the end?" I cannot answer at all. It just means I'm not sure.
Final bottomline is "You already regretted taking your diploma, you cannot regret taking your degree anymore", so I guess the decision's final. Work it shall be, the degree can wait.

Currently the sandcastle thing has rejected me, so what the hell. It's $12.50 an hour, which is like, hard to come by, but then, haha too bad again. I sense alot of future problems will come out when it comes to me finding work. As what i've always said, I guess I have to quickly catch up with society and make myself useful.

~KeongSterZ~ I know what I do best, helping people. And I Know What I'm worst at. Helping MYSELF~

2007-05-16T03:21:00.000+08:00

Topic of the day: Many Many Challenges I Face, And My Final Step, Will Decide The Rest Of My Path.

I've been deep in thought the past 3 days. Everything I do, it seems like heaven wants to tell me something. It's just too coincidental, and then again, it might just be a sign.

Sunday was the sandcastle thing, I already mentioned that Jon, Glenn and Weiwen left early, Fiona and me left at the end. The debriefing was basically what they said about the kind of people they're looking for, so basically they're saying they observed us while we were sandcemetry building and would choose a handful to shortlist.
Basically this was what the big boss said
1)If you're the kind who walk around in high heels, and damn afraid of sand, you're not the kind we're looking for.
2)If you're the kind who looks scary, don't look pleasant and helpful, then you're not the kind we're looking for.
3)If you're the kind who we see walking around helplessly dunno what to do cannot do anything, then you're not the kind we're looking for.

And then we all went home.

Monday afternoon, I went coaching with Shah, I sat at the squash court for 20minutes and saw my own reflection along the glass, very clearly. There I saw an ahbeng, looking damn sialan, very un-presentable, very sloppy, very bengish basically. Then I thought to myself "Am I really that likeable? I have many friends along my circle, and a handful of true friends, who I always trusted"
I thought deeply again, and I knew what was going on. It was exactly what I thought, My image totally looked crappy, it's just that the people I call friends know me on the inside already, and no longer judge me externally.

Tuesday, intel came in on the sandcastle, Jon/Glenn/weiwen got chosen, Fiona and me didn't (Exactly what I thought). Jon's face is very approachable and he's a cheerful person. Glenn and wen prolly didn't look as approachable as jon, but they're both funny. Haha Fiona's clumsy and panics easily so I won't say she's suited to be a leader. As for me, Hahahaha, It just further reinforces the fact that I got alot to improve on. Reality wouldn't accept me jez cause I'm nice on the inside, it's no wonder I only work for friends.

Haha to be honest, I really can't stand seeing my own face on the mirror, I've been far too comfortable with my slacker lifestyle and far too "dun care them la" with my bad behavior, bad presentability and so on. I have started off late, I have much more to improve, and sad to say, I do not have much time =.=

All's left for me is to make my decision, to study, or not to study. I'm going to go mass consultation on that, I've heard JH's comment, I'd like to hear what everyone else I've trusted to see what they have to say. And my time limit? 3 more weeks only.

~KeongSterZ~ Too Far Behind~ Gotta Catch Up, Really Quickly~

2007-05-14T00:45:00.000+08:00

Topic Of The Day: Bad People Do Not Necessarily Have Bad Traits.

As time passes by, I've come to realize that people born with my idea of what a "fucked-up" mind set is all about isn't really all that bad in reality.

I've come across a person I know pretty well, he's dishonest, he's a perfect liar, he's irritating, he's thick-skinned, he's a backstabber, and to summarize it all, he's just a jackass. He has pissed countless people off, but towards the end, he still thinks he's right.
Gradually, I've realized that all his fucked-upness sum up together, actually benefits him so much that he's pretty much in a better position than I am in terms of social stature, somewhat, his character puts him in an advantage over my "I try not to lie", I'm a niceguy so I'll not remember bad things, and so on.

In psychological terms, people want to see confidence, they want people to BE fucked up, so that they can talk their way through, bullshit their way through, etc. And even though many people probably hate him behind his back, at least his job position wouldn't be that badly jeopardized. Or that is what I'm just thinking, well I suppose I'd just carry on my nothing-better-to-do investigation and see what pops out the next time huh.

Anyway, Today is sunday, May 13th, training/audition for sandcastle building. Basically just about helping out a sandcastle building organization aimed to help team bonding, family bonding etc, especially helping the disabled and all etc. It's a charity organization as far as I see it, but it's sponsored by government so we get paid anyways.
So Keong was there along with glenn/jon/weiwen and fiona who came extremely late. They taught us how to use the tools, the basis of building, and sent us off to build already.

Having no basic knowledge, we anyhow humtum some layout and randomly placed staircases here, walls there, etc. And according to the boss of the organization, our "sandcastle" was more of a "SandCemetry". Just to let u guys see, this is what we built, along with 2 other guys. . . .

The back of the sandcastle, done by glenn/jon/weiwen, Revamped by Keong and Fiona after they left for laguna matches and boss was still bitching about it looking like a cemetry.

This is the front, done by Keong, and the 2 guys, Roy and someone else. If you're wondering bout Fiona, she was running around laughing and getting sand thrown at her by everyone else.

I trying to pose like JH they all can~? Even tho I not nice enough. . . . .

Just check out the differences between other people's castles, and OURS!

Haha for some reason, Glenn was damn obsessed with the staircase building tool, Jon screwed up anything he used, cuz they nvr listen to instructions, he and wen keep pouring water into the containers =.= And all of us forgot to squeeze the sand together.

That was all for the day, rest of the day was at Laguna watching people play. Haha, sandcastle building is fun =D.

~KeongSterZ~ I got no childhood, sorry ar =D~

2007-05-10T23:34:00.000+08:00

Topic Of The Day: So long no post right? Simple reason, because they're all complaints, and I think maybe it's time I stop complaining. Haha, But i'd assume it'd only last a few weeks the most.

Well, much has happened over the few days (Obviously). Firstly, Saturday's paintball Pictures Are out =D. Special thanks to Fiona for taking her own sweet time, Haha, nah actually she fell sick, well, stupid girls don't know when to rest.

Haha, not much this time round, but here's just to show who played this time round.

TopLeftCorner: Michael Gui Poh Mun: Currently Serving Government National Service, Training To not be a boboshooter, bloody sprayer of the team.
FrontLeftCorner: Elizabeth Tam (Refuses to tell me her chi name, wadeva), Girlfriend of Michael, Went into battlefield and came out shoes clean, nothing more needed to be said =p.
Nexttopleft: Timothy Cheah, regular player, smart play this time, Tough nut to go against, but nevertheless, not as skill as mervyn.
Nextbottomleft: ME! KeongSter! Kana own only, cannot win army boy la, stupid mervyn, kanina.
TopleftinArmyAttire: Mervyn Lee Mingwei, Star player of the day, kanina, everything in army context he use until whoever's team he on win clean sweep.
TopCentre: Kelvin Yong, Regular As well, kana own jialat jialat by Mervyn hahahaha
TopCentralRight: Fiona Tan Li Ting, Proclaimed Best player of the day by the staff, garang, chiong without gun, jez cuz other pple no bullet, I think the stupid staff just likes her, narbeh, merv and me come out shoe super dirty he nvr say go say she garang, pui!
BottomrightEnd: Jonatha Surya Yang Gan Chen~ Regular Dickhead, haha nothing much said about him, I think he needs to experience army.
Topright2ndlast: Asriel, Idiotic bastard, shoot me everytime i walking towards respawn point, fucker say i nvr raise hand, pui, i kana so mani times, he so mani times nvr see, pajiao!
Toprightend: Tay Wei Wen, fellow specs-wearer, bth both of us keep on kana specs foggy lanlan cannot c shit. sucks man.

Bottomline: Mervyn kena 1 huge bruise point blank on the stomach (HE WEARING LONG 4!)
I kana the most, 5 bruises, only 1 was frontal leg injury, the remaining 4 is on the back (BLOODY ASRIEL), 2 on my ass, 1 on my arm, 1 on leg. CB sadist aim ass one.

The Vests we wear for paintball damage filter on torso, really works, itch nia.

Paintball Guns? they use nitro to propel the bullets out to fly far. cool.

What's the most important? The face lor, stupid masks damn tight la, everytime my specs fog up inside one. But helps alot too.

For my personal life, I have just been running around classifieds searching for jobs, part time mainly, found this sandcastle thing which was really interesting and that many people tagged along with me, we'll see how it goes this sunday.
Cause of my job search too, I had to change the way I looked, I cut my hair last monday, and I look like a fool now, everywhere's short except the backhair still long, and just today I made 2 new pairs of metallic specs. Haha~ Cost me a bomb man zZzZz.

Much has happened around me too, and I gradually found out that I am actually a very dangerous person, because I study people, and I realize that knowing what people are thinking isn't good, because it's what they want to hide, and you know, I don't think I want people knowing what I'm thinking in there too. So I figured I shouldn't talk anything about the insides of others, haha.
Coaching season has begun again, currently got a new customer, and Shah's lesson is beginning again, so I guess I can see some money rolling in, no more full time for me I guess.
Lagunas will be this saturday as well, and also something fucking big to me, but haha, there's no point right? So I guess I'll just say bye in my mind and hopefully in the future I'd be mentally ready to face it.

~KeongSterZ~ Everyone Wants Attention, Can You Just Give It To Them~?

2007-05-04T08:05:00.000+08:00

Topic Of The Day: Keong's Up And Early, Taking Life Seriously And Moving On With Life (About Time Motherfucker)

Well, I just decided to get up early and check out the straits times classified and see if there were any jobs I could apply for. Sadly enough, it's a shocker to me when I found so many choices in thursday's one but none on friday, WTH.

Starting 9am I believe I'll start making phone calls to various places and see if they'd accept a vulgur long hair bastard. Hahaha. Ok, Of course I'd cut off the vulgaraties and see how it goes. Maybe even cut my hair if it's absolutely necessary.

Yesterday was the talk of hell. Talkin to many many people over many many different issues, multitasking shithole man. Bottomline was, too much is happening around me, I wonder why I still got so much time to bother about people when I can't even take care of myself now, always need people to fuck my ass up before I make a move, nice life I have. I guess that's the true gist of people that care huh.

~KeongSterZ~ Life Just Gets Sadder By The Minute~

2007-05-03T03:19:00.000+08:00

Topic Of The Day: Theories, Assumptions, Guesses. Not Good Enough, I NEED ANSWERS.

Today I went to traffic police headquarters with Maria N Weiwen, because of a certain somebody. I read a nice little message, ok, Many nice lil messages:

Fairness: Fairness Is not about how you break even, it's about how you play fair against an unfair opponent.
Patience: Patience is a gift. You don't get the chicken by breaking the egg. You get the chicken by hatching it.

Or somewhat they're just damn close =p, I dunno.
Lately I've been forcing myself to get to the bottom of a mystery. Well, to the extreme that I have to approach people for intel, and obviously, these individuals will just ask the hell's going on. And I hope I could just trust them to keep their mouths shut =D.
Feeling like a detective, Keong? Actually not, I'm just really curious. I want answers to a person's heart, thinking, reason for abnormal behavior etc. I don't wanna assume, but that's all I can do right now. No answers.

Well anyway, I think I have reason to be happy. I finally talked to her, for fucking long too. But well, I know it just confirms that it is the end, and that I should move on. I would really appreciate if she just dun ask so much about me, it's like false hope sia =.=

Right on with today, watched spiderman 3 sia, powerpac. Zai la Tell u, Green Goblin's Son & Spiderman VS Sandman & Venom, DOTA 2v2 Draft match center lane ONLY. Haha really not bad, just that it was dumb to watch spiderman 3 when you've not watched 2 (Least i watched 1 i guess).
Mahjong at night again lor, 3 pple mahjong, no lang to play. Win $ fast, lose $ fast also. Pui, dowan play 3 pple liao.
I shall make this the last of my late nights. For some reason I have a determination to build up my physical strength so that I can make my stand in the upcoming laguna tournament.

Shall go to SIM tomorrow as well, just to try my luck, provided I have the time anyway. We shall see~

~KeongSterZ~ Everyone Has Moved On, I'm Still Stagnant, Stubborn Towards Change, Aren't You Keong?~

2007-05-02T02:28:00.000+08:00

Topic of the day: Homework of the day was done, outcome was not desirable.

Haha, ok today was a pretty, crazy day where Jon and Keong have NOTHING TO DO. Brainlessly running around changing minds half the time. Well ended up Mahjonging at the later part with JH chris jacky jon fiona, really lucky game. My $ went so low I was down $8, but ended up win-back and won $2.

I started my school search again, cause I had a new option, University of New south wales, it was HOPE, but false hope it was. So few courses, wtf. They at tanglin now, relocating to Changi, next to expo in late 2008. SIM was like the option that my mum and dad are so crazy over, so I decided to check em out again.
Haha I thought I hit the jackpot, they actually had this NEW course, psychology. So all's good, but the fucking application dates. Aiyo, missed it lah. So It's like, wahlanz, I start studying next year's August, that's like 1 year 3 months. MUM LET ME GO TO AUSTRALIA, I CAN CUT THAT BY FUCKING 12 MONTHS! (I THink, Ok, worst case cut 6 months)

So? Haha, Why didn't I apply SIM just in case NTU/SMU failed? But I do recall, initially I never did want to spend too much $, maybe I shld be stubborn and try NTU/SMU again next year, hahaha~ And meanwhile? Go full time!!!

~KeongSterZ~ Every path has their perils, adventures, and benefits. The idea's how to choose your path and forge out your story. . .~

2007-05-01T04:02:00.000+08:00

Topic Of The Day: Nothing Went Right Today. I Wonder What God Has Planned For Me.

Really gets tiring whenever my brother's home. It's no longer about his bitching, it's about what he really does on the other side of that wall with the internet. Well he has the controls over that thing so god knows what he's done, but it's from bad to worse. From screwed up download speeds to can't dota properly, now it gets down to having to refresh the fricking website 7-8 times before they decide to load, and finally, MSN seems on but no, can't send messages. I feel like I'm dealing with a 56k right now. Give me another week I might not even be having an internet to begin with.

The day was really bad. I was fed with brands essence of chicken that kept me awake so bad i slept like only at 7, and my dad had to force me to wakeup to go for breakfast with my grandfather, insisting that I promised him. Well ok, I tried to slp at 10, WTF? So zombified Keong went for breakfast and had the worst feeling he'll never forget. Eyes wanna close, whole body tired, but mind damn active. Essence prolly only wore off at 11am, where i fell in deep sleep, haha. Ended up missing 12 afternoon tennis with Glenn and Gladys, and got up at 5. Where I still went to play tennis anyway, and got fucked later at midnight by coach. Well he's probably in that mood again, and well, ok I shut him up soon after, never liked people talking bout death to me. For me it'll just come when it will, so whatever if I die playing tennis, it's not his business.

Mag's down with fever, and so is Christine, so mahjong was cancelled. SARS is spreading man what the hell. And I swear I didn't spread it to them, I barely met them, unless I could spread the disease and they manifest 2 weeks later, ok maybe it's me then.

I was trapped in a very complicated situation where most people would call delicate, and in my view, I normally do not give a shit, but apparently, it seems that the wrong move I make in this path I take, will actually start wiping out my means of transportation throughout the journey. And yeah I'm talking about the tennis fraternity.

I told mr Leong that I had a sub-plan organized. Well, I DID. Just that I didn't plan the consequences. SHIT =.= Thank god I made no move yet. Well yeah, I could totally fuck studies and go into coaching. No potential students? Well, I made my move somehow, I approached a source that I'd not name at the moment for help. Seems like I could work out a solution and get some hours and some extra pocket money, as well as a reputation build that I'm not really so enthusiastic on.
Problem is, tennis coaches don't really get along well with each other, which, you might know the problem. Always trying to please everyone, Keong is really trapped in this situation. To make matters worse, I went to laguna to submit the forms, and kana approach by James (This guy can name), who apparently doesn't ring well in my mind cause I've heard stories from Shah (Initially under James) that he's money-minded. Gives me a bigger problem. Yeah it gets me more $$, keeps me occupied, that's the only good points. The bad ones? Much more =.= What to do, what to do~!

HELP LAR!~!~!~!~~ Always Have Mr Leong To Have Nice Picture Illustrations~

~KeongSterZ~ BE A MAN!~ DO THE RIGHT THING!~ But, What Is The Right Thing? =.=~

2007-04-29T23:41:00.000+08:00

Topic Of The Day: Nothing's Going According To Plan, My Life's So Screwed, I Can't Even Laugh At Myself Now.

While I was conveniently down with fever on saturday, NTU's letter of rejection came in. Well, ok they didn't accept me. SMU's not replied, but I've never pinned hopes on them. So basically, I've concluded Singapore's out. I gotta reach out further, Aussie =.=

Well or so I thought, since I was so coincidentally sick, my mum was happily using that as an excuse "How to let u go down there and rely on yourself like that?" Ok lor. Dowan me go aus, pop up so many excuses lor, nevermind, you're my mum. I respect! I DUN STUDY!
Well firstly, I have no idea why she's pestering me to go SIM when there's no psychology in there, my trademark line to her was "Ok lor, I go SIM and randomly choose one course to study ok?" and that shut her up for the rest of the day.

Anyway, I do realize from my old homework that I do have other options, I still have the private schools, or the overseas schools that came to singapore. New south wales in RP? James cook university in Queensway(That's lynda's school), but to be honest, I really don't see the point in studying in those places when they're really expensive and is still local anyway. It's like telling me "Keong you just suck, so u gotta pay much more than the norm."
Well, point taken, I DO suck at my studies, always regretted having bad results but never repented. That's all over, therefore my new concept was, If I'm gonna spend a bomb, gotta make it worth the bomb, go overseas and get myself bombarded. Locally? Honestly? No. Everyone's telling me bout how I should abuse my parents' money while they still have it, but I'm fucking stubborn. NO.

Well looking at reality though, give me a few more days I might just have to succumb to reality, cause I really don't have much of a choice, unless I do admit myself into the working society. Life's never simple, ain't it?

KeongSterZ~ There are no coincidences in this world, only inevitability.~

2007-04-28T15:57:00.000+08:00

Topic Of The Day: Today Was Supposed To Be A Cool Day, But I Go And Kay Kiang~ Now Become Sibei Sian Day~

Log: 260407 ---- Keong went home after makan with tennis team n went to sleep cause he thought he was tired, but for some reason, his mind was tired, but his inner organs were so active they kept him awake.

270407 ---- Even though Keong had NO sleep, he decided to carry on with his same plan. Morning played tennis with Weiling and Mag at TP and lunch with them. After that Keong helped the TP tennis team recruitment drive booth. It ended early cause of rain and the gang camped off at the library, where Keong's hell began. Lack of sleep + bad weather + super cold aircon, Keong decided to go home first, where his first symptoms of fever came. He still kay kiang, decided to carry on with dinner that he organized, drove to gardens and ate chomps with another 14 peepz (Tim, Rachelle, Joel, Andy, Derru, Sim, Joyce, asriel, jon, fiona, liz, maria, wen, sam) but still decided to go home early anyway since he felt like shit.

280407 ---- Officially declared down with gastric flu (By mum), Keong had no choice but to cancel coaching in the morning, abort tennis playing as well, and confine himself to bed (He's at the computer now though). What a dull saturday morning for Keong~ Oh well, Hiong somemore lar~

~KeongSterZ~ S I A N~~~~~