E Legendary Loser -=Keong=- @ Your Service

Thursday, September 27, 2007

Topic Of The Day: How would you choose to die?

Well, Wen and me just got to the topic of death and how people in the army die, stretching themselves past their limits and collapsing to their deaths at the end, encountering accidents and dying, and suicides, like my friend who jumped to his death in the army. As well as outside people, such as my grandmother who died the peaceful way, in her sleep.
Well think further and maybe you can die of being shot at by a rifle, being blown up by a dynamite, C4, grenade. Or whatever, many shit. Haha to be honest, I really want to die quick, not even in my sleep. I'd rather something that'll just knock me out, for good. Instantly. Don't know if that exists, but yeah well. We'll find out.

Well life is as usuals, slacking, coaching, slacking, coaching. There's really nothing to look forward to in my life now. Maybe I need to work harder and push myself. My blood somehow just stipulates having fun, hahaha.
Well I did fantasize about owning a house to myself entirely, just slacking in there alone blasting my music (Like JON), then again, I'm thinking too far =D.
Maybe I should aim for a car first, shouldn't keep troubling jon. I wonder if he ever gets worried with my driving his car, like "Hope Keong dun bang car" shagginess.

Anyways, it's nice knowing many people, been seeing Koreans, Japs, Indians, so far so good, nice bunch of people. Each with their own personalities and stuffs. I think it's just human, it's not the race.
Oh and it seems I'm a boring person =.=, so how do I go about learning to start being a clown?

Next Song Of The Day: Sean Kingston, Me Love , I love this shit.

~KeongSterZ~ Step forward, face every challenge posed to you. Running away solves nothing, facing it might result in failure, but gives you experience still.~

Posted by borny @ 2:29 AM

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Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Topic of the Day: Friggin long day of work, or what you define it as.

Sometimes I wonder if my work's good. To make it sound nice, my work is only 5 hours today, and it's a long day. Why? It starts 2pm, ends 9pm. It's the driving that kinda turns me off. traffic and stuffs. Sheesh.
I shall not be choosy though, I decided on this path, I better make it good.

My first screwup occurred last Saturday when I overslept for an hour session, apparently they weren't so forgiving so things went crazy for a lil. Then I thought back on my "Don't screw people up" theory. Well I just did anyway, there's no solution to it, there's only a "No more next time you motherfucker" for me. Hope you guys understand what I meant when I say "Leave the fuckups to when you were young".
So I forced myself to bed 2am last night, for once I felt normal, I guess. So I guess I better rethink my objectives of the year.

A nice lil form of appreciation for the regular visitors, I love this song =D.

Akon - Sorry, Blame it on me

~KeongSterZ~ I'll be the Darkness to lead you back into the light~

Posted by borny @ 12:45 PM

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Sunday, September 23, 2007

Topic Of The Day: More personal talk~

I lied down in bed one day, fricking tired, but totally not sleeping. First thing I thought back was about what Derru talked to me about when the guys went to see Maria off.
Well for those who didn't know, well we had a farewell hug, not exactly surprising or special in any way, but to me, it wasn't common, or rather, VERY uncommon. If I recall my history of hugging people if you minus family, cousins, etc. I can only think of 2, Dajie and Mag =.=, and both was when they were flying off to Australia for a long study.
So mine with Maria, was really awkward, I kinda like, haha, uhm, took the hug with a very awkward look and feeling, and pushed her off at the end. Well not exactly nice to push if you ask me, but it just came at that time, I guess I just felt really weird. I'd still feel quite bad if you ask me.

So that brought me back to me thinking about girls and myself, and looking back, I never really did do much to girls, somehow I was trained to have this mindset it was offensive to touch girls, think it's my mum somehow when I was really young. Well she's traditional and conservative if you ask me, and she made me that way too, sadly enough.

And I thought deeper about me having close contact with girls, I was brought back to my miserable past. The very first girl I liked. She gave me warmth, gave me feelings, seriously makes me see that I never returned any of it back to her. Maybe I should go look for her after so long and really, do something for her? But nowhere to begin, I should stop dreaming.

Anyway, I carried on a little bit of research, and I kinda wondered to myself about the fragility of things, especially friendships. It's like how it can take years to nurture a friendship but just a mistake to totally shatter it. Well extent? Comes in many ways if you ask me. Everyone has their priorities, and they have their own views on what they can accept and what they can't. Without knowing and understanding these, complications occur almost too easily, so ultimately, what comes down to agreement, is patience and forgiveness.
Towards the end, friends are but people who entered your life by chance, you may or may not meet one way or another, and when you continue to think it that way, you do not treasure your friendship very highly. That's really my advantage of being right at the bottom. Any friend you run into, is someone that'll help you, and you'll be thankful for their knowledge and assistance.

I've actually came up with a nice little scheme to actually see if you can trust a friend, but problem is, trust comes in many ways, so well. The heart cannot be read, as kingdom hearts 2 says, haha.

~KeongSterZ~ What happens when we were small, will happen when we turn to adults. The only difference, is that the consequences will be more drastic. Make mistakes while you're still young, and ensure that the mistakes stay in the past~

Posted by borny @ 2:29 AM

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Saturday, September 15, 2007

Random Rants: All I did was to be myself, and I'm the bad guy now.

Predictions were all too accurate. After Jacky I felt that I probably ain't so good with mind reading, maybe more towards future-telling. Everything went the way I guessed but never did wanted. Now I'm facing the most cruel fact that should have landed on me 3 years ago. TP tennis team is no longer within my reach.

My 5 years with him, is finally over. For good. The way he does things, is just so amazingly just him. I didn't hear him declare open war, but had to hear from other people, and he had to pull other people into his petty battle. I'm done for, I'm so pulling out. I don't see a point to fight when he's just trying to create more chaos in the team just to get me out.
Looking at my future though, it really seems I've nowhere to run. The clash is to come sooner or later, might as well stand up and face the music. Life at it's most real reality kicking right at me.

Current jobs I've been doing shows me a lot, about me, and my friends. Which is really good for my own personal reference. I didn't really believe this myself, but I'm being feared, obviously not for my looks (Damn, JH would say I'd look like the easily conned), but rather, for my nature of setting things right.
I've thought about everyone around me except JH & gang, I think there isn't one person I haven't scolded yet. Yeah the chalet was a real screwup, with me practically screaming at every single fellow who showed up on the first day. Really dumb man, that was also the time I swore that's the last time I'd do anything for them that involves risking other people into trouble. Sheesh. Stress factor was so darn high.

So tell me I'm temperamental, too serious or don't know how to relax. Or rather, tell me that people around me are just stupid, or I just can't accept their behavior, or I just plain suck.

~KeongSterZ~

Posted by borny @ 3:00 AM

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Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Random Rants: Everyday Is An Eye Opener, A Mystery, And Great Research.

Gonna be long, gotta bear with me. It's been 22 days since the last update. Much has happened. TP guys' event schedule has officially ended as of today, with 4th sept kicking off with KTV, arcade, Wednesday Clubbing, Thursday Paintball, And the final chalet that occurred from 9th to 11th. Everything was cool and okay apart from a few screw ups and stuffs, but yeah, you really learn alot every single day.

Same goes with the SIP dudes, Pearlyne started off leaving first on the 7th, Maria on the 10th, and Merv, today. Wednesday is the day the rest of them starts their SIP as well.

As for myself, I've been moving on at a very slow pace, very unhappily adapting to diverting time between work and play. Things get worse each day with me not giving myself enough sleep even after work is over. I'd go hang around with friends or go play around, and yeah, I think I like that kind of life still. More work is jumbling up as the days go by, and, aiya, fuck. Don't want to work man.

My whole life basically revolves around me helping people and people helping me. Although it's not exactly a very fruitful life, to me, it's a life of meaning. I mentioned before that we are there to be made use of by friends. That is the norm. When things go the way I describe it though, it's like, we rely on each other, and that's the kind of life that's pretty meaningful to me.

I haven't really been slacking on the psychological side, still keeping my eyes on people and staring at behaviors, especially when rare situations occur that you don't normally get to see elsewhere. That's where the ugly truth appears that we humans are just so predictable. Only weird thing is why I'm just basically the only one who openly declares my bad points and still trying to find out more.

My path has been yet again directed as well. With one path totally closed out and another opened that opens up another challenge of friendship, I think my life is so full of them. Towards the end, I think my outcome will be my ability to sustain, maintain, keep up to my standards, and stay faithful. Only then will my life open up to what I wanted from the start, more true friends.
The harsh truth to myself as well, is that somehow I have the 2-face kind of personality. Half people will see me as easy to bully, the other half will be afraid of me. And I don't know how they define that, but I know how they feel. Shout at too many kids already. I think my life is all about shouting at people. Maybe I should just try to be the national day leader carrying the sword shouting the commands to everyone some day.

Oh anyway, super long list of people I have yet to murder off in drinking, haha super long list but no chance no time, goddamn. Drivers suck~ My Job sucks~
And yeah, just now 98.7FM muttons at midnight was talking about Fann Wong being willing to take off all her clothes for a script that's good. Well that means PORN! What was really funny was that they sang a song about them.

Play this song in your head now . . . . Sean Kingston - Beautiful Girls. . . .
And here goes the lyrics they sang. . .

Fann Wong Please Take Off your clothes, you know it is for work
You'll Have Chris Suicidal, Suicidal, he Might try to drive again.
Oh fann please take off your clothes, do it for the sake of work
You'll have chris suicidal, suicidal, he might try to drive again~

I kinda forgot the rest, but yeah hell, damn funny it was, security guard at my guardhouse thought I was crazy laughing at myself. Oh wells. Anyway, now that most of my buddies are gone (OSIP, SIP), and my work's clogging up. I guess it really is time to move on. But No0o0o0o0o. I will try to find a way to go between work and play hahahaha.

Some mambo Pictures before we move on, I guess. . .Haha

~KeongSterZ~ It just gets clearer and clearer, I just need to open up my work life a little, but I can throw my time off for play as well. Just need to organize it well~

Posted by borny @ 12:13 AM

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