Tuesday, December 27, 2005
40 Year Old Virgin~
Haiiii~~~ Doesn't it just somehow seem like it will be me in future?
Hardcore gamer, least he has a stable job. Ain't got much of a life, slightly more than mine. Collects toys =.= well good job, earning alot outta there.
Ok anyway, really cool movie. All the funny shits and all. Totally recommended.
Just don't think of me when you watch it, cause I'm fully aware how similar I am to him, considering the fact that I can't even stand watching porn i'd just close my eyes.
Damn I wish I had his gaming seat, his consoles and all his damn games.
Keong~ Suddenly Wanted To Turn Into Farming. . .
Posted by borny @ 8:28 PM
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Monday, December 26, 2005
Tekan Session~~~
Well well, seriously, I really dunno what to say when I got shot straight.
Normal day out with Sjai n normal talk cock session, then came the story as to how my family celebrated christmas and how i got a pretty heavy naggin by my mum.
Well initially I thought I really didn't have much fault at it, considering the fact that I wanna go out she grumble so much, dun go out she also scold. But who knows, Sjai actually supported her decision, saying I play too much games already.
Well you think about it, they're all right anyway, who has ever been happy looking at me being the no-lifer at home. You think I really want it anyway? Like, I'm not really the type to go out jalan jalan alone, and It's really easy to discourage myself to get out of home just by opening up my frickin wallet and lookin at how much cash I actually have within.
And then again, I don't really find myself enjoying the games, just pressing on to push for time to pass. Even animes and movies, jeez, new episodes come out, I'm the first to grab em, cause I really don't have anything better to do. All i do is skim through people's blogs, write my own, visit the same old websites, read the usual dumb emails i get, delete the junkmails, looking at my friends talkin cock on mirc, then i stare at the desktop and go "damn i'm bored."
Then I'll just wish some new episode came out so i could waste 30mins getting it and another 20minutes watching it and i'd have passed 1 hour of time zZzZz. I mean, what else can I do anyway, experience with going out always results in spending. DAMN~ Maybe I should really give a serious thought to searching for a serious job.
Still have this stupid sales thingy in my head, but it's pretty hard to consider even that, putting the $2700 into account. Where the hell i gonna get that much sheesh. And not the type that suits me, I'm better off being some pump attendant or something.
~ ~ Wait N See~ Bide My Fricking Time~ ~ Sign On Worst Case~
Keongz~
Posted by borny @ 9:20 PM
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Keong's Christmas Part 2~~ The Totally Unforgettable and UNIQUE Christmas of all.
Never would have guessed, which family you see in this world celebrate christmas falling out with each other? Mine I say, this is so amazing and incredible.
Earlier this afternoon where i just wokeup i still could remember how happy she was receiving my christmas present (supposedly her birthday present since i had a hard time finding an appropriate one for her), and at night she could actually blow up for god knows why reason and create an entire household disorder.
Just had to have a dad to keep pestering me to have my meal when I'm not hungry, and god knows what the hell he told my mum. She came into my room, slammed some hokkien noodles on the table and walked off fuming and screamed "Sometimes dunno what u all doing, only know how to play play play, stay in your room and play play play, that's all u know!?"
I'm like "WTF ELSE CAN I DO!?"
Goddammit, and just yesterday i was asking to go out and she interrogated me with so many questions i just gave back the car keys and said nevermind, now she's whining that i'm at home gaming all day. What the hell u wanna me do? Study!? I'm in NS mind you zzzzzzz. Go out you kpkb, dun go out also kpkb. Really dunno what she trying to prove sometimes.
So that marks the end of my such-a-cool-christmas-indeed, and I'll just bide my frickin time. I dunno why i'm planning this, but i'm just planning to break out of the household. Anyone would go mad with a mum who always gets made doing housework but doesn't ask for help and instead expects us to notice and lend a helping hand when we're just minding our own frickin business.
My family's acting like they know it all, and the more it happens, the more I wanna scream at them. And everytime I wanna step out of home, they're always assuming that my friends hangout with me cause i so damn have a car. Jeez, then just confiscate the bloody car and stop making my fricking life so hard! I'll do whatever, just fricking leave me with my fricking freedom.
~Why The Hell Is This Happening, Sometimes I Really Wonder If I Bookout Only On Weekends And They Only See Me Twice A Day, Will There Be Much Lesser Arguments zZzZz~
~Tired Of Self~ Tired Of Family~ Tired Of Life~
~*ShitLoaded k_k*~
Posted by borny @ 12:34 AM
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Saturday, December 24, 2005
~~Keong's Christmas Experience~~
*Browsing through handphone seeking out people who i can call out*
Too bad, there ain't any =.= At least, the people i'm lookin for are the drinkers, drunkards, drinkaholics, and dranked~
Guess I'll be celebratin My Christmas with Dynasty Warriors 5 =D.
*Yawn* I need some booze~~
~~ zZzZzZzZzZz ~ ~
Keongstarz
Posted by borny @ 9:12 PM
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Thursday, December 22, 2005
Keong Unleashed part 2~ Putting your life on the line~
Okay, so the above phrase was obviously and definetely a learning I got from all the anime I have in my computer. Now we're talking about cartoon characters who just die cause the storyline's made that way, so they can die all they want without having too much of an emotional breakdown over anybody. The one who'll emotionally break down will normally be people in the anime as well, but they're not living things so who the hell gives a shit.
But before things go to any "stop fantasizing", it happens, doesn't it? When the world's at war, we s'poreans happily sleeping and go like "aiyo, war again, sad." Even the army, half of them are just thinking "Aiya get my NS over n done with, yes ar!" Even I am in no position to say anything, cause I'm NOT EVEN COMBAT FIT! But if i were that particular soldier able and must go into battle, as much as I fear for my life, there's no other way but to place the weight of having the responsibility of the country's safety, along with all your other fellow countrymen.
Even having put the death factor into motion, the best is always to just die instantly, the worst is when they shoot some part where you just don't die but end up losing some vital part. Need i say more? The dick =.=, an arm? A Leg? Worst to me is the eye, I wouldn't wanna imagine being shot in the eye.
Putting the monstrous fear aside, why do soldiers even have such a responsibility? Even on my side, if i have failed my part and communications were to go down, that would have just brought us to a major disadvantage in battle. We're talking about the people behind who are unable to fight. We are able to, at least, fire something and make some noise, and scream when we die, but whatever.
Have you ever thought of what your mission in life is to be? Set goals and all.
"I wanna be a doctor so i can save many people"
"I wanna be a policeman so i can catch bad guys."
These are definetely what we all said when we were 5-7 years old and just started skewl, to be helpful to the society and make it a better place.
As we grew older? It all changes. We aim to earn money, get things we want, and specialize in what our interests are. Sure we didn't become doctors, probably cause we're not too smart. Sure we didn't become policemen, probably cause it was too risky? Or boring job? Or no interest or whatever it may be.
Then we grow up to be businessmen, engineers, designers, whatever. We're still contributing to the world's economy and all. Some of us do what interests us, while others just do it for the sake of money and no job and whatever. Society at current.
Then we go so much for money? For what? Survival, food, clothing, shelter, parents, desires etc. These are all things required to maintain our lives and to have better lifestyles.
But what are our true goals actually? Don't we just see it, just a simple one, ahead of us. We earn money for a reason, to keep ourselves alive and happy. And the other? To fulfill our duty. The duty to keep the ones who brought you into this world alive and happy as well. To keep your loved ones happy, to protect every single person who has entered your life and made a drastic change in the world, your world.
And that's the flow of how things SHOULD go till your life ends. Seriously we men aren't really all that important, we're just supposed to be stronger in the heart and will, less emotional and more determined, for a simple reason. To fight, and to protect. And to be honest, we aren't really all that tough, but least we could try to be tougher than the girls, since they cry so much more than we do. Hence the heavy responsibility on the guys. So for those who says it's stupid to fight n all, I'll respect your decision, but when war really comes, you'll see that we don't really have much of a choice, that's if you want to see your loved ones alive, that is.
When 2 people fight, they just beat each other. When 2 classes fight, the classes group together n start a gangfight. There's even school to school fights. But up till now, the largest battle will go to axis v s allies? World war 2? But have u noticed? It's all fighting against humans. If aliens do exist, and they invade our planet, u think we'd unite? I bet we would, I just wonder if we'd be on time =.= People who have watched independance day, you should know what I'm trying to say. It's as simple as it is, yet we make it so complicated.
~Be A MAN! Doooo The Right ThING!~
~Just idle at home like i always do and daydream~
~KeongTardoz~
Posted by borny @ 1:35 AM
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Wednesday, December 21, 2005
Keong Unleashed~ Part 1 =D
Ok so what's been going on with the entire nua-session for the past few months or weeks.
I don't know actually. . .Can't remember. I only know I'm pretty hard up on money, and it'd be stating the obvious that I'm not the only such person.
At this point of time, I've realized one thing. I'm back, to my old self. I'm cooping myself up at home playing games, and I do sense a major difference, the difference of actually getting bored of games after awhile. Even when you're telling me it's NEED FOR SPEED MOST WANTED! Hell that game is cool, but somehow just doesn't feel right staying at home all day doin that.
One thing for sure, my mind seems to have become unforgiving, losing it's acceptance to people's actions around me. I won't use the word fall out in here, but it really seems, I don't want to see alot of people's faces.
Question, you may ask why. This is why I named it Keong Unleashed anyway. Nowhere else to begin but here. But I can't tell you why, because everyone was born with a bad mistake, or many bad mistakes. I happened to have a few of the really bad ones, but ruling them out for the time being, I'm still failing to understand the fact that people are born to be made use of and to make use of each other.
Well depends on how you apply that anyway, of course requesting for help was one thing, expecting another is another. But one thing for sure that has damned the lives of many. It's just this one word, and it ain't money, it ain't love. It's assumption.
Don't you realize that when the human mind is theoretical, be it analytical nor simple, people always go "I think it's like this", "Must be like that". Whether it's right or not, don't you realize it just doesn't matter, because by assuming, most of the time it relates to doubt, and when it relates to doubt, it goes to breach of trust, breach of trust = loss of friendship, and time = restoration of friendship. I think that's the flow of how things go.
And I don't let the time factor affect me. I don't know why, but my mind always thinks back into the past. And stupidly desiring to avoid certain situations in the past with certain people, i stupidly avoid the sources themselves. By thinking back into already-resolved-issues and avoiding replication such issues, I'm actually avoiding the main source, the people themselves.
Even if you ask me why, I can't answer you. I've become as direct as i could, I've become as blunt as i could, If i hate you for what you are, I'll tell you straight in the face. And I'll remember it well. To forgive but not to forget was probably a long time ago in my dictionary. Now it's probably to forgive n prevent by avoidance. I mean, i've always been bogged down with this issue "Why think that way?" But towards the end, it still comes down to "That's the only way afterall, it ain't fun screamin at people ya know, even more not fun keeping it unhappy in yer mind"
Don't we see, that we're all the same, actually, really. I realized, on the road, anywhere. No one's never NOT fucked up at all. There's no keeping everyone happy. No one's perfect. In fact, humans ARE a big mistake.
On the road, I can fucking curse this motherfucka who jam brake, just cut into my lane without warning, creating great inconvenience, charge traffic light, horn at me, and as a matter of fact, when I'm not properly thinking, I do the same things(Except for horning).
In society, we can curse people when they lose their temper n throw their weight about and go like "WTF he angry our fault? Now vent on us?" End up? C'mon we do the same shit. It's just how a person feels at that particular point of time.
There is no "nice guy". There is no "bad guy" either. People change periodically with mood swings, situational events, past cases, bad-usage-of-knowledge etc.
And when i say bad usage of knowledge, It's just simply pointed out to me, and everyone else i know, that's why i always say, those who deserve to live, are those who never lose their temper. For a reason, they are aware that there's a time for everyone to be fucked up, and it' unavoidable. The only people who are NOT fucked up, are those able to understand that nothing good comes out of anger.
Seriously when you talk about such people, I only know of 2 people in my friendship circle, and they DO get angry, it's how they handle it, and even if i've not seen it, they've done it pretty effectively and they're a rare bunch.
I've gone through much in this world, and it only brought me to understand one thing that's known all around. You can never know everything, and you can never NOT be fucked up. One thing is, once you learn to solve a problem, more will arise from that solution. So all i can say is, never rest your vigilance.
I, for one, am tired, tired of lying. Tired of being such a dick. Tired of being such a loser. And especially, tired of hating.
~What has army done to me? When we get welfare, we just want more. Why not just make us suffer in the first place? Don't you realize humans are making use of the law for their self-rights? Don't they realize that they're fighting amongst themselves?~
~The earth is our source of power, and the produce is our friends and allies~
Keongtardoz
Posted by borny @ 4:13 AM
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Monday, December 05, 2005
The day of doom looms.
1 week of on course in sembawang camp led me to realize that being on course is such a fucking hassle and it's a frickin waste of my frickin time. Still have 1 week and 2 days left to go.
PTRs are just around the corner so i really can't say much. Considering i'm totally unprepared, i wonder why i even agreed to take the retests.
So after a day of hanging around with Sjai as per normal, got home and got nagged at for havin a frickin dirty room, so i just stayed up the night cleaning up. Looking through a few old photos of the TP days in the tennis team, my secondary school pictures and the BMT photos, just brings me back to the good old times which can never be forgotten, putting aside the fact that i actually forgot and needed the photos as reminders =p.
Read all the letters left behind from the past few christmases and whatever occasions, birthday cards and all. Especially with the cards i read with the brothers and sisters i had when i was with god for that period of 6 months. Kinda noticed something pretty weird, and that is, what they say is just about pretty similar.
Well problem with the similarities is that, the similar side of god which they mention is pretty much, very logical, but the similar side about MY personality in their letters only brings me to know one thing. These guys believe in what you tell them. They believe that you ain't lying to them.
I could vaguely remember what i told them during that period, like what kind of person i am. Lazy, gamer, bla bla bla, kinda thing. all the bad things start coming up, and they can make it sound that there's nothing wrong with that. True nothing wrong, but it'll be something wrong if kept there forever =.=
And there comes the problem with the righteous part they say in me. I know I told them stories of that if i see a friend getting whacked, I garuntee + chop wouldn't run and will help him out. . . . Deep in my heart is what that tells me, but who the hell knows? Not that it's happened yet, has it?
Seriously i don't think i'm that noble, so i think i should really stop lying to myself sometimes.
~At First Glance, Looks Will Describe Your Character~
~When Interaction Begins, similarities builds friendships, differences builds discussions, and attitude brings gossip~
~Finally, When time flies, ugly sides will show themselves, and the truth unfolds~
Keong~
Posted by borny @ 1:44 AM
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