Sunday, July 31, 2005
Sometimes, i really wonder if i'm tired of living, or i just can't wait to pick a fight with just anyone. Most recent one readers would know of would be Mr Mikey and Me when i screamed "Oei speak to me lah fuck" Right at him without even giving a damn to what he would do. Maybe i'm just too openminded. And today it nearly came out the "U fucking handle the costs?"
Probably i hung around with sjai too much. . Probably i'm too sensitive, or i'm just tired. Today was a pretty ok day, apart from the 2 hour wait we waited for sjai with, but it was a promise, so it wasn't his fault. Until i came along with JH n gang.
Be it too long never meet, be it i've become sensitive, I really had the feeling of smashing the table and screamin at him and just driving off. I'm so glad i didn't anyway, cause i think i was just getting too plain blunt these days.
But i just wonder what could make him say that. Ok we went to pool at katong earlier, not much problem apart from the boredom i'm experiencing, then we went to geylang, which i wasn't so keen on, but i'll just follow up anyway and not spoil the action. Parking was kinda fucked up, since i've not parallel parked at all -_-, and suddenly had to do one. It was a bad experience, but we got it done anyway. So we just sit down n makan.
Then came the part where i wondered why sianrong took his bag down, and they came the "unsafe" thingy so they scared so they take it out, which brought me to this question, if so scared why park here in the first place. Then so JH said "Ok can park tampines n walk here", so i just thought "park tampines might as well eat there". And the piss-off-remark returned "I really wonder why u get a car for, just drive all over tampines, for fuck sia" My instant reply would be "U fucking pay the fuel n costs? Car's not mine, I drive it for YOUR fucking convenience, not like i'd want to come to such a place", but actual reply was just a smile and a 180degree turn to watch TV.
I mean, what the hell, mikey knows so damn well how many times i've driven all e way to Pasir Panjang just to get his sorry ass back, not to mention the whining i get from my family, and i didn't blame him. I wonder how i could even get that kind of sarcastic remark. This is the very first time i felt having a car wasn't a good idea afterall. At least, not for him.
My mum's always been saying how she's afraid of me being made use of by the tennis team to drive here and there, but what she doesn't know was that it was account of my pure approval. I wanted to send them home, not like i was unwilling. Today's one was really unwilling with the geylang thingy though, but i thought i'd probably not ruin their plans and carry on with the idea, only to get returned with shit.
Knowing him for 3 years though, I think he probably said it in a hurry or just wasn't in a happy mood at that period of time, so i was pretty glad i didn't bluntly shoot it out like what i did to mikey. But i think i'll stick to the idea that i'll no longer use the car for him. Not that I have the car everyday anyway. Hell.
~Sianz½ Ah Keong~
Posted by borny @ 2:11 AM
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Saturday, July 30, 2005
A great day it has been, it's been a long time since i had a long chat with mag. I was always thinking that she's always been helping me mentally in the past, so probably i can only help back physically, beat the crap out of some of the people who gets on her nerves. But it's pretty amazing, i got to say, that there are people in this world who can get on her nerves -_-. Her patience normally rises up till you can see the moon and the stars~ for someone who can send her heat gauge flying up till up there has got to have some amazing fucked up attitude to do that.
Anyway, I watched army daze at the same time (Always thought it was army days). Fucking funny show. . It was retarded though . . . People entering army are NOT adviced to watch, because what's in there basically teaches just bad things -.- But it's good for the entertainment and the funny shit. It's just that the team's a lil weird. A hunk, a gay, a paikia, a love-mad-retard, a nerd etc. It's just too expected -_-. And i happen to be like the nerd, with a mum like that -_-.
Overall, it was a great day if not for the rain and super long conversation i had with maggy, so my super-long-schedule saturday became a stay-home-saturday. But i'm leaving soon anyways. . . . Got coaching to handle. I was suprised with sjai as well. I kinda told him 3-4 times i wanted to go into serious coaching and that i wanted his help, he either shoved it off or didn't give a reply, so i figured he probably wanted me to be on my own now, so i just stopped bothering. Until suddenly at TMCC after social night he actually asked me "U really wanna go serious ?"
Yeah duh i was always serious, just that i really didn't know how to organize my fucking time. Even now i still don't, and i got army shit up my mind. Let me clear up the stocktake and LRI before anymore shit occurs la hor.
End of Report~
Posted by borny @ 3:02 PM
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Wednesday, July 27, 2005
Here I am in camp, in my signal store, abusing my IC's laptop to get online. Not much i can do with 56k, but it's better than total isolation in this stupid store.
Got music, got internet, but something's missing. No friends -_-. My IC's gone fishing, he'll be back later. . . . but what the hell, for now i'm alone, so it's time to sing "Dang Ni Gu Dan Ni Hui Xiang Qi Shui~~~~~Ni Xiang Bu Xiang Zhao Ge Ren Lai Pei~Zhe Li Zi You Feng Zi~ Mei She Mo Hao Peng You, Wo Xiang Nian wo De Tennis Team~~"
Ok utter bullshit, but what the hell. Just staying in for one da already made me super bored and lonely. One day without talking cock with the tennis team wahahahahaha. I'm too used to booking out. And i really needa $$$$. Need part time, but dumb army says no -_-. FUCK IT. . . . . CHEEBYE!!!
Posted by borny @ 9:44 PM
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Life just doesn't feel right when something's up your mind. It's always the mind flashing off dreaming of some shit that makes you end up going into a state of dull mind or stupidity. And today is yet another I-can't-fucking-get-to-sleep-day.
Guess i slept too much at e signal store. Tomorrow it's work hard and stay in day. This week is gonna be cool, cause today's the first day i'm gonna sleep in Hendon camp, and though it's nothing to look forward to, I'm the type who prefers out-of-home situations, except for stupid field camps when it fucking rains -_-.
Today's tennis training was remarkably. . . remarkable. We've got TK girls coming down and jeez, they're so good they'll whoop my bloody ass. Sometimes I just wonder if the girls are naturally talented or Sjai's a fucking whoopass goddamn powderful coach.
Guess what, Mikey PMSed again~, and i joined in the PMS session, and when we went down 1-8, we blew the game back 8-5, heh. PRetty fun time we had though it was lame as well. Sometimes dunno what sjai wants wahahahah. He complains saying that when we practice our shots we hit so fucking hard. And when it comes to matches, they all play like sissies. Mikey and me were exact opposites and happened to be hitting hard all e time, just that the ballz just don't go into the court, but we HIT hard anyway, and he complained again =p. (wahahah that's so retarded of me)
2am liao sia cb, and i still no mood sleep, tmr cfm + garuntee + chop + insurance die sia. Sometimes i wish i just had some knockout pills or someone smacking a racket on my head for a quick concussion. Insomnia sucks, gives me too much active brain cells to start thinking too much shit.
My 1st sergent Ling is gonna ORD in 2 weeks time, and our Minister Mentor Roy Sng gonna ord in 2 more months time. That's when my 2 biggest pillars start dissapearing, and when Mr Thomas Mah ORDs on december, it's hell for me. I'm all aloneeeeeeeeeeeee to take care of a fucking huge store of expensive shitz. 1 small mistake and it's 1206, extras, confinement and all. . . When's my OrD? ONLY 20 MORE MONTHS -_- CB __.
Time flies, it always does, everyone knows it, but no one cares, until they really need it. Human application to reality is always like that. You always think not enuff when u need it.
Money supports life, money builds happiness, and also destroys happiness, friendship, and conscience. As long as i'm not one of them, I'm a happy man.
Ah Keong~ Kio Sai Kio Sai~
Posted by borny @ 1:47 AM
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Monday, July 25, 2005
I kena mark down again for scolding vulgaraties at the court, coaching uncle mike's too afraid parents will complain. At the same time, it feels pretty great when your students treat you as their friends.
And sometimes i really wonder to myself, do I have what it takes to be a coach? I'm indecisive, i'm intolerant, and i am not stern, though i am really good at making children cry =X. But if you ask me, it's much better than a coach who doesn't say shit and just feeds a ball blindly to a student.
Also dunno what came to my IC today, i was suprised when he was actually planning on staying in, wanna bao the work all by himself. . I mean, i know that he threw me shitloads of work and just slacked off a corner, but i wasn't really expecting a "Ok Man u rest" and BAO all the remaining work -_-. This kind of boss is crazy, dunno how to level his job, first gimme bao, then give himself bao. How fair it turns out in the end, making me feel bad and all wahahhaha.
But looking at it, it's really good. It gives me one less reason for complaining and yet another form of motivation to work effectively. Even though he's blunt, he's pretty good for an IC. True that benny chee-bye is soft, but No part of me's ever gonna watch benny work while I sit n relac.
Posted by borny @ 7:30 PM
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Sunday, July 24, 2005
Today marked another day of more learning of myself as well as the people around me.
Yesterday was a very great day if you asked me, because what i seriously loved the most is when everybody starts opening up their true feelings to each other, and yesterday happened to be the perfect timing for the Legendary Mikey N Keong Pair To Start Opening up their true feelings to each other considering that i've already graduated while mikey's near graduation, and we barely met out nearly having much chance to talk about it.
So what did i say!? Man it was a direct shooting~. Bloody fucker in year 1 fell out with me cause of this and that and all that shit that we both know NOW. Sure was a great time of mass suanning and understanding each other, and the great times and horrible times we had for the 3 years.
Whatever it is, Mikey's gone through alot with me, and hell, it's just another great example of the legendary doubles team who weren't impressive at all in skills, but in terms of massive rioting up on the courts, and boy, anyone's gonna miss the scenes we create up on the courts.
At the same time today, it was through Sjai that i realized a very simple fact. That very simple fact is the fact that i'm still unreliable and not really the kind of person to tell everything to. Simply enough, i can say i know slightly more than others about that idiotic act-cool fellow, but when i actually heard from sjai what mikey was CURRENTLY doing and what actually made him so stressed up back on the tennis court that day (WHich i actually asked but he didn't wanna say to me) totally shocked me.
It just simply flashed to me that Mikey's actually gone so far and i didn't know shit about it. Not to say a thing, but i thought i was close to him. Hell i wasn't, but then again, I only thought that for 30 seconds and ended up being GLAD i didn't know about it. Reason was real simple, and i'm not about to disclose anything about it. In fact Our dear coachie Sjai knows more than I do. That's even more understanding considering Sjai's working experience and his massive bearings of knowledge, so i just simply had to admit that I'm inexperienced, I'm still my little Mama's boi, and I'm still my computer nerd =D.
But one thing i'm sure i'm never wrong about. About time he gets a girlfriend. Someone that he can fucking confide in. I know he damn hell needs a person, and that person won't be me, but it doesn't make sense for him to come so fucking far down to east side all the time just for cock talking session with the entire team and mass discussion of his nerves popping out with sjai.
Not that i'd wonder how i'd answer if he asked me the same shit, but i'd tell myself "The one i'd probably go for, is the one i'm always thinking of, though i don't have any feeling in it -_-." But speaking of girlfriends, the bloody CD i played in the car had too many great songs, and it just brought back memories with my ex-girlfriend, like the songs i used to sing to her. And it really feels sad that I've got no one to sing to anymore, at least, not with my entire feeling into it.
What a bitch life gets when people about your "age" or what u call "level" flies up to such a high level beyond your reach, you'd go like "Cheebye, either he's good or i totally suck lah." And it's actually both. I've got to admit this fucker's matured lah, but I'd figure he still wants the red carpet infront of him before he walks =p.
Everyone has grown~ I thought i was lucky. And i was so damn wrong. I am FUCKING lucky. Got sjai for a coach and now got mikey for a fucking good example of a spoilt brat with a full makeover into a fucking god.
I'm always learning so much everyday, I'm always understanding myself more every single day, but the real question still lies. . Am i able to even change my personality? My natural reactions to certain situations. Bad habits can be changed, but the attitude? Is it even possible? I'm always trying, but it never seems to *alter* itself.
From what i have to say to gay mikey. From year 1 we were the best of friends, we get pissed at each other, i'm still pissed at you now, but everything's over. We've gone though the process of each other PMSing, and even though now we're still buddies, I seriously hope i DON'T run into you when i'm done with whatever i'm planning in the near future. At least, Act like you don't recognize me or i'll really start burning your houses and cars down (note the plurals =p).
~ Always learn from your mistakes, you can't live long enough to make them all~
Girlfriend? So slow ar, i got wife oready leh. . . 2 children somemore =D
Ah Keong~ =D
Posted by borny @ 2:20 PM
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Wednesday, July 20, 2005
Today's dinner, was purely, okay, but already, I'm beginning to feel the out-of-place pattern. Not really cause of them, but more to myself. Like i mentioned, I'm not gonna suan anybody anymore. Probably just accept suans and that's it. Though it's not successful, i have to admit the suannings have died down a reasonable 50%.
And today marked the day of another case of Michael Gui's Lampost case. I just had to play the lampost didn't I? And ballz that sure didn't feel good at all. Things were getting a little messy around the team but i just didn't want any involvement in it, but i think it's probably coming in. This time round it's the team's dear little Hermie who currently sounds like sjai now (WHO EVER ESCAPES HIS CLUTCHES) and how-u-spell-her-name fellow.
Sensitivity probably kicked into my senses, but sure enough, to confine yourself to NOT suan anybody is = keeping quiet throughout the entire dinner which is = I shouldn't even be there in the first place.
And seriously, today's match with herman, i was pretty happy i confidently whacked to counter my 2 bad points, the inability to finish off points and my super weak backhand. Pretty much both were ok, sacrificing alot of points, went down 6-2, then lost 8-9. Which means i made a pretty huge comeback, which also brought me to realize that Mr Hermie here's getting a little cocky, and his character has changed, which brought me to regret not kickin his ass badly.
Bigger question is whether i'm capable or not, but from what i know, it's time to leave TP for good? I'd probably not be able to do that easily since i'm still happy with sjai n dave n all, but that day will come i'll be like shuntian and just come only once in awhile.
Gossip session over, next anime i'll greatly recommend, Fruits Basket =p.
Ok it's kiddy, ok it's lame, ok not very exciting, with no fighting and all, but it's really good. It's the story about a girl called Honda Tohru who had no father since birth and lost her mother on an accident when she was 14 (Common story? Yeah it sure is, listen on). She keeps her motivation going and survives on her own, keeping herself happy and carrying on with life.
Then she runs into the retarded family of the zodiac, supposedly with people who change into their true form when they hug someone of the opposite sex. Now here's the part. Everyone has a zodiac sign, like me, OX. Whether you believe what they say about your zodiac is a diff story, but i sure believed mine, especially with the "rushing" part. So every single ass of this family has all the bad attitudes or dissatisfaction or whatsoever, and Miss Honda comes to e rescue. She talks about this n that and all. Emphasizes alot on character, being happy with what you have, and how you feel. More importantly, this fucking show is fucking touching. It's not raked number 4 for nothing. Totally recommended, i watched it over thrice.
Humans change, people change, surroundings change, everything changes, but for the better or worse, who is there to decide? It is up to you to label what is good and what is bad, so just be yourself.
If you can't beat em, Join em~ Rec Ah Keong, FMN Sig Str
Posted by borny @ 12:57 AM
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Monday, July 18, 2005
While you all might be wondering what's going on in me, The fact that i'm trying real hard to go back to the old me with the cold pattern i'd give around back in my secondary school days, it's actually extremely difficult to revert. . . Now that i'm a stupid childish mungen who can't stop being the fool and making fools out of people.
In just a day, i made 3 people unhappy thanks to my un-bearable and un-stoppable suans and insults that were meant to be jokes, think i've carried it too far, in fact it's getting uptight. Ballz to myself for that, but i'll let it pass, that day will come. I just wonder when i revert back would i still be hanging around with the ever so crappy sjai n dave who "Converted" me in the first place.
Anyway, here goes what i've been trying to start so long ago. The animes~, so let's start with the anime i've always found to be very motivating and meaningful.
The ever so longwinded and not-so-boring anime, Naruto.
Narutardoz is about a stupid kid who has a stupid demon inside his stomach that supposedly gives him power, i just wonder why the demon doesn't just eat him up since he's so darn powerful. Anyway, not the main point.
The main point is that this kid started off as a stupid, lousy kid who's weak in ninjitsu or what i'd call "Bullshitsu" since it'd never really exist in this world, but due to his ever-determining attitude of "NEVER GIVE UP", like every single anime would definetely have someone with that kind of thinking, he always manages to tyco tyco pull through every single scenario. And sad to say, in real life, it's not really all that practical, cause for some reason, naruto can get punched right at the stomach and fly 1km away, hitting rocks on it's rampaging path, and crash into some cliff at the end path, showing a super long stretch of destruction, but still survive with just spitting some blood and whatsoever, while we'd just die on the spot with our bones, vessels and body parts splattered all over the place.
And even better, naruto will just appear out of nowhere and say "I'll Beat anyone who gets in my way, that's my way of the ninja" and eventually beat the crap out of the guy. Now what am i emphasizing?
Actually, it's about what the anime's pushing at. Though as exxagerating as it can get, it's one of the simplest way to get a person to actually stive for success, rather than give up easily. Talk about naruto who went through loads of shit training and finally became some god.
Talk about sasuke who had a brother who wiped out his entire family and got so greedy over power he turned to the "easy" way out via evil, which the anime's obviously discouraging.
Basically every character has their story, it emphasizes alot on humanitic morals (That's a cool phrase i came up with), and obviously hopes people who watches it will learn to be like them, IN TERMS OF THEIR MORALS, NOT THEIR NINJITSU AND KAGE BUNSHIN NO JUTSU shit -_-.
While reality is, reality, and is not so fictional like naruto, the morals and determination can be brought into real human life that encourages humankind that some things can actually be done as long as you persist and presevere, just not to the extent of death.
While my anime talk is over, let me tell you that i realized that i am actually a super anti-parents person. Well, i hate parents, not much of my own, but i hate others more. Especially guys' parents. Cause they're wusses. Singapore's too peaceful. Someone needs to kick some sense into parents that we're talking about defending singapore here, don't expect zero deaths in a war. Might as well just surrender while you're at it. Dickheads. Grow up, this is reality! Die then die lar. WTF not say purposely go commit suicide right zZzZz.
K story ends. Bedtime? Book in again TML, saddening. . . .demoralizing. . .zzzzz
Posted by borny @ 12:27 AM
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Thursday, July 14, 2005
I just began understanding why I'm hating my parents so damn much, I don't get the least bit of freedom from them. That sense of independance is no longer there. Every damn day, these parents of mine can call me up like hell and ask me if i need a ride here and there. The situation's gone so bad i'd rather take a damn bus or taxi just to get them to leave me alone for just five minutes or more sheesh.
Don't make me laugh, ask me go study in Australia? With what they're giving me? They'll probably DIE before i get back, die from WORRYING. How do i make them NOT worry? I Fucking CAN'T!? EVERY SINGLE DAMN SHIT I DO, THEY WANT TO KNOW. EVERY SINGLE DAMN PLACE I GO TO, THEY FUCKING OFFER A RIDE AND INSIST ON IT EVERY DAMN TIME UNTIL I DAMN HELL SCREAM A BLOODY NO AT THEM, AND THEY GRUMBLE THAT I'M MAD AGAIN.
What the hell am i supposed to do? Go back to being a Mama's boi and be a nice little boy who goes home on time every single day? "Di ah, got enough money anot?" "Di ah what time coming home?" "Di ah where you going?" "Di ah we on the way, fetch u home want anot?" And by the way, her "ON THE WAY" can refer to getting from bedok to jurong east then back to bedok again just for me.
Nothing i do escapes them, they want to know my every single damn timetable, in camp, outta camp, whatever fuckshit. They don't go crazy, I WILL. They grumble the moment they find out i'm not coming home till after 12, they grumble over every piece of shit. They care, YES, BUT I DON'T CARE, I'm going MAD.
What the hell, my life was much better when my dad's overseas and mum's working. If I could, i would really goddamn sign on, stay in camp forever, change phone line, isolate myself from them and all, and make sure they'll never get to contact me ever again. And i'll bloody hell survive on my damn own.
What with my extra brother who ruins days of my life just as easily as he does all the time it happens. Even my most important graduation day was badly fucked up by HIM. I don't know what my family's trying to do, especially this retarded brother of mine. I know i did say that 95% of the time i've proven myself wrong with him taking my things, but i guess i just brought it down to 90%, BECAUSE he GODDAMN wore my leather shoes to work with him, and came up with lame excuses such as "My shoes wasn't that shiny." GODDAMN BULLSHIt, MY BLACK SHOES DON'T EVEN SHINE. IF U WANT SHINY BOOTS GO KIWI YOUR ARMY BOOTS AND WEAR THEM. And there my maid threw his dumb leather shoes to me, defeating the whole idea of me buying MY PAIR. I spent $199 on that pair just only because I didn't want the damn bloody sole at the back that made me feel weird. Dumbly enough, he bought that kind, and PROBABLY decided "Oh Mine sucks, my bro's one so much more comfy" And conveniently TAKES It along with him, and simply by doing that, he easily destroyed my graduation day.
Considering he's destroyed an event of mine that happens probably 2-3 times in a person's entire life and that costed me one leave day, he can probably wear that pair forever. Probably nothing will bring him out of his senses not to take my things without my permission anyway. And judging from his idiotic personality, if he read this, he'll probably storm into my room and beat me up. Hell i don't care, he's retarded, i'll fight back if i have to, i'll die trying, i don't care. He's no fucking brother of mine. My life's so much better without him around. If he were to die, i'd feel sad still, so i'd rather die, since i have such a damn miserable family.
I don't care how immature I am, i want my rights, and if he wants to talk to me about "How about you?" I'll definetely draw a clear line between my bro and me, and i'll dissapear from my family forever if i damn hell have to. I'm a 20 year old dammit, not a 12 year old. Don't bullshit me with the "Mum can't stand my snoring, and your brother wants his independance." Bullshit, my dad sleep in my super small room everyday just to get close to me just cause of WHAT? Want my attention? He doesn't even know i'm struggling to TRY to survive on my own and he's happily carrying on trying to SPOIL me with the damn SHIT he's coming up with.
Right, anger of the day vented, nothing else to say, sheesh.
I really wonder how long more i can tolerate them. It's true they're my family, it's just going too far. . . My parents, they'll do anything for me, die for me? I think they would too, and contradictically enough, I don't want anything from them. . . . I want the ability to survive on my own, but they're destroying that wish of mine and weaking my will daily. . . .
What the fuck am i supposed to do? If you tell me i'm just having those days again, no i'm not, it's been going on for a month already. . .
I'm not suited for all these. . I really think i'm better off hiding off in some kampong in malaysia, then again i'd be playing the coward. I could face everyone and piss everyone off as per normal, but there's no point makin so many enemies -_-.
People say, i've changed for the better. The only thing which i probably changed for the better is the ability to just do and not grumble, and also thinking more optimistically probably, but I guess, i'm still the fucked up old me. I don't want to think anymore, find me the simplest way to live on, and the only thing i can think of, is back to the play-it-cool, play-it-dumb me.
Live on my words, never again will i suan anybody, never again will i open my mouth necessarily, never again will i be a joker, never again will i be an ass. I shall just walk around and stare at people, yeah right, bullshit. . . . I'm so good at contradicting myself. . .
~~No change's been made, no effort's been placed, how to expect to improve~
gh3yboi Ah Keong~
(I'm really curious to know how many of you people out there can't stand me, but that's not a question worth answering, because once i know who you are, i probably wouldn't bother you at all anymore)
Posted by borny @ 10:42 PM
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Sunday, July 10, 2005
A nice little topic i thought up of.
This is actually a little about how deep a simple meaning can get into.
What's it gonna be? It's about Trust.
Of course, to put this word simply, it's easy. "I trust this motherfucker in doing this and that", and if he does it properly, you trusted the right guy. But if he failed? Trusted the wrong person?
Simply when we look at the relations used in trust. It'd probably be related to keeping secrets, believing in others to do their job well, believing that this particular item would last etc.
Put Sports apparel for example. I stopped nike for awhile cause their fucking shoes wore out fucking quickly and costed a bloody bomb.
But when we look at trust deeply, there is always a twist to it. Things are always not as easy as it seems. Of course, assuming someone doesn't do his job well, it's as simple as "He didn't bother and is trying to find an excuse to bluff his way out of it" In another aspect, there may be logical reasons as to why he didn't do his job~.
Look at it further, when we talk about believing in others not telling certain people about certain things. Why does it happen in a way? Simply enough, it is called BETRAYAL, but what was that person thinking when he said it? If you ask me, one reason would be he has a fucking big mouth and wants to act like he knows things that others don't. The other reason would be more logical, that that person has thought about it and thinks that it's better than he/she lets that crappy secret be known to whoever he paotoh to.
Dave's favourite sentence "U want the truth? U can handle the truth" (With a little bit of distortion here n there".
Same goes to my terms, I'm always wondering Sjai's personality. He's a person who sees much, though not seeing it all, he's observant on the good and bad points on people. And obviously enough, no one can see or realize everything about himself. Some things require being pointed out before realizing a thing.
Being with Sjai has proven one thing. He knows his friends, and he practically has good and bad comments on every single person in his life, and that obviously includes me. He talks about it all the time, he openly speaks of people's bad points everywhere, but never in front of that person himself. Not saying that it's backstabbing, it's just that he doesn't want to show that he actually dislikes some people for some reasons, but not entirely. What leads me wondering is why he never seems to want to tell me my bad points even though he said a few, but they're more or less the pretty unrelated ones.
Then i thought about the "You can't handle the truth" thingy. I thought about it, hearing the worst, and denying it (Which is very unlikely since i'm not such a BHB), or worse off, listening to it and wasting time brooding about it and thinking "Damn i've been such a motherfucker for so long". Though i'm really curious about what bad things he thinks about me, it's actually a pretty good idea to believe in what he believes in. And what he believes in is not letting me know of it for certain reasons.
So that's basically what trust comes down to. This term can expand in a very wide range. It can be simple, it can be complicating. Sometimes, don't lose trust over people for just a certain reason, because you have to know, the other side has a brain too, no matter how dumb, as long as he still has a brain, he has thoughts. At this age it's unbelievable if someone actually does something stupid without considering the consequences. Of course, i'm excused cause i'm a rash person =p, so NOT COUNTED.
Doubting is easy, and it's really the easy way out, because by doubting, you're pushing the blame entirely to that person and none to yourself. Sometimes you have to really put yourself in his shoes and think about it. If someone doesn't meet up to his expectations, get an explanation, and fucking listen to it and not rant about it.
That is all, class dismissed =p.
CAMP TOMORROw, BULL, BORING, FUCK.
Posted by borny @ 11:24 PM
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Saturday, July 09, 2005
Hall Of Losers Page~
Lost to Jarred 4-6~
Lost to Mikey tiebreak
Lost to Shuntian 1-6 2-6
Lost to Davey 4-6
Lost to Lincoln 9-2
Won Calvin Li 9-5
Good? Yeah well i guess it is =D
Posted by borny @ 12:03 PM
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Wednesday, July 06, 2005
Today was really one heck of a day, with the bloody dog in my store messing up my day.
Anyway, due to reasons which i'll not emphasize on, sure was a pretty quiet day for the first half since the whole lot of them went out-detail except me and benny cheeee.
Until the fucking reservists came in, DRAW STORES. It was pretty peaceful until the order came "BATTERY IC, Give them 610 AA batteries" I was like "WTF." Best time to get rid of the crappy batteries, and also -_- . fucking holy shit. 610 fucking batteries. I was counting and carrying till i went mad.
When i was nicely calculating "Ok, this box got 200, that box got 170, i still owe u XXX left." The next order came "BATTERY IC, 470 D batteries!"
That was really the time to cry, it was so damn fucking heavy. . . .Goddamn stressing. At the same time, halfway counting, calculating, carrying, I've got Poh shuntian calling me askin me 4 tennis, i've got sjai callin me for our plans, i've got my friend callin me regarding court booking, i've got JOYCE HO calling me telling me she wants to tennis today. . .Oh Jeez, that was some stressful period.
But one thing good, being battery IC's really good. . . I just feel good having that whole chunk of batteries sitting there being at MY DISPOSAL. Cool ballz
Today Mr Sjaiful Sjharin taught stupid bitch joyce n me topspin serve. Damn it was fun, and painful to my arm. And i managed to get 1/2 the hang of it. Goddamn fun, heh. But i don't think i'll learn it fast enough to apply it to tennis open, so whatever with the shit, i'll try another day.
Posted by borny @ 12:19 AM
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Monday, July 04, 2005
Nothing beats being able to display your full power on the tennis court at any time of the fucking month, and that's what's been baffling tennis players all over the world since their tennis life started.
I just watched a nice lil federer VS rot-dick match, nah, roddick =D.
Not much i can say, both players were impressive, except for the fact that roddick gave up easily on a few shots while federer has a fucking cheebye asswipe wicked backhand weapon.
Which leads me to wonder why my backhand's so fucked up =p. This tennis open would probably mean alot to me because this is the first match i'm playing with a PTR associate instructor certification up my ass. It just means i've got to prove myself, but if proving yourself means playing the standard playstyle of tennis, I would probably fail rock bottom.
Looking back on my most recent games, I lost to jarred 4-6 due to massive serving double faults and unforced errors (As usual, sheesh) and the 4 games was purely cause he did the same.
Worse off was i lost to mikey, only impressive thing was, I was down 5-0 and fought it back to 5-5. Be it sheer luck, be it waking up late, who knows.
So. . . Open's in 4 days time. . . . Can't say the players are weak, even if they're in my club. Guess it's time for "KEONG, GROW UP" period.
Keong~ If I Can Read People's Minds, They're Done For -_-.
Posted by borny @ 1:27 AM
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Saturday, July 02, 2005
Now that i look at it, my blog's pretty long, and still have people reading. . .
But what i finally realized was this was no longer Keong's research centre but rather, my complaining centre.
I believe that i've done more than enough complaining so i suppose it's time for Keong's research centre Season 2~! However, . . . i dun really have anything to talk about. . .
Anyway i did think of something. Do you realize that us singaporeans are kinda, spoilt? My neighbour downstairs was telling me that in Singapore, almost everything is accounted for for you. Traffic flow in singapore is smooth (On most areas i suppose, ORCHARD ROAD __). Public buses are pretty much a short wait (Though people complain it's long, they'll die if they go overseas -_-). Goverment does so much for us, like the CPF for us to buy our house or whatever fuckshit. Singapore is, well organized, but, too well organized?
Give you an example, ME. I just started thinking. I as a baby, gets taken care of, gets sent into primary school for reasons i do not know of, then go up to secondary school, only to learn harder things which i wonder "We learn all these 4 what?" Then further our decision into JC or Poly, who pays? Parents -_-. We get pager, handphone. . . Phone bill i dun pay. . . i dun pay no shit. Parents pay internet, handphone, petrol, electricity, water, bla bla bla bla bla. WEll basically, they PAY IT ALL. Meaning, i dun learn much, i dun learn on self-survival, i'm reliant on my parents and. . . . How do i break it? Go overseas? Work part time and fuckshit? Life won't be easy for a major change.
Now that you think about it, how many singaporeans like me are willing to take up that challenge. I may be thinking big, but i'm not really so sure if i'll survive. But one thing for sure, it'll definetely be a great experience.
Now think of Mr Leong JH. No allowance, internet think his family pay. EVerything else he account for himself. Phone bill, canteen meals ? That's why he goes out to work. That's what i call independent, but such people in singapore, are pretty little.
Singapore is disaster-free~ Singapore has so many laws which enforces order around the country~ Singapore is strict~ Singapore got high taxes~ Every single fucker complains~ Even I Complain "What the fuck! DOWNLOAD ALSO CANNOT!!" wahahaha ok . . . .nvm. But we have to realize one thing. Compared to other countries, Singapore's death rate is fucking low. . . Singapore's epidemic rate is also fucking low~. That's how lucky we are. It's so low that i'll cry at any person who i see happenning to die next to me.
*cough cough* We still have entertainment, tennis lah, jackpot, mahjong etc. Go ask dave if he has any in New Guinea =p. We Are Lucky Fuckshits~ So know this, when u drive a fucking car, know that u didn't pay for the fucking car, and you're driving a Lethal weapon, so drive like me! 16km/hr =X. Ok that's a lie, but from what i see, death rates come alot from traffic incidents. Everyone's just too carefree~~ Dun care here dun care there~ Then die liao then "SHIT!"
I saw a poster in army "I closed one eye, and closed both of his forever." So safety is damn impt~ And guess what! I'm OFF TOPIC AGAIN!!! Guess i haven't changed for e past few years.
We should all go have a 1 week stay in some forest and learn to survive on our own =p . That's called powerpack!
~~~~~o_0 Ah Keong o_0~~~~
Posted by borny @ 1:00 PM
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
|
